Parents with children in private primary - is it really worth it?

[Blossom8]

I'm interested in finding out whether those parents who have a child/children at a pre-prep/private primary school find it worth the money over state school and how you arrived at your thinking. Are they academically better, discipline, pastoral care etc ...?

We live in London and with the talk of bulging class sizes, lack of school places etc, we are thinking whether it is worth the money paying for a good private prep school.

I think that goes to show that National Curriculum or no National Curriculum, state schools come in all shapes and sizes - variety is not the sole preserve of the private sector!

Sounds simplistic. But if you have the option to go private, why not look at all the schools including the state he would most likely be allocated to, then make your decision based on which school you feel he is most suited to?
I always felt that private at primary level was a waste of money, but our nearest state school was terrible at the time and we decided to go privately in the end.the school he's in was absolutely the best decision I ever made for him, but having said that, the state primary he would have gone to has improved massively and I probably would have made a different decision had that been the case at the time.

Flexybex

DD age 6, expected to spend few mins each night learning spellings (writes them in a spelling book) and a test each Friday. Emphasis on punctuation/grammar, handwriting practice. Tables by rote that sort of thing.

Again i'm sure that is the norm in some state school but not locally to us - going on what friends tell me their children are doing plus my own observations eg written work on the wall at DD's Rainbows.

I know from being on MN that some teachers say spelling tests have no benefit so don't imagine they are done in all schools. I wasn't taught times tables in a state school in 80's.

Well, daily handwriting practice (up to end of year 4), times tables and weekly spelling tests are a feature at my dss' state primary. I'd never really considered whether that was normal or unusual, tbh.

OP, I would say it depends entirely on what local independent and state primaries you have to choose from.

We looked at two indies, two state primaries - and chose one of the latter. No regrets at all.

And, like Rabbit's children, my dds do spelling tests, times tables and daily handwriting practice. They swim, play netball, and have the option of a hockey club (or a chess club, or a gardening club, or a basketball club, etc etc).

It has a cosy family atmosphere, a good mix of families, and the children there are very clearly happy and confident.

If that description had fit one of the local indies, and the local state primaries had been unhappier places of education....we may have chosen differently.

Which is not to say 'go State' at all - just to say, DO go and look for yourself! You will know which school you prefer, and which your dc will do well in (whatever that means to you). Good luck choosing!

I think the key here is that there is such a spectrum of both state and private schools, that the answer might be different for everyone - even if fees weren't a consideration.

We live in North London. My dd is still 5, youngest in her year 1 class. We were allocated a place at our 3rd choice (but closest) school in reception. Failing school 5 years ago, now Ofsted good. Single form entry of 30, beautiful playing field, fantastic pastoral care, a very wide variety of after school activities despite its small size. Dd is happy and confident and has lots of local friends.

HOWEVER, we are going to move her to an independent school for the start of year 3 because:

We prefer a more traditional focus on academics and a bit more of a 'push' (she is bright based on end of year 1 NC levels). At her current school no handwriting taught and have only just started learning simple spellings. 1 reading book a week. We feel that we have to work with her if she is not to just coast. Although the school is lovely, their academic aspirations are mediocre.

We prefer a larger school with multi-form entry.

We prefer a school with an even wider range of after-school activities all carried out on site (we both work full time) and largely to a higher standard (she is very sporty).

We want a school that will take her through to 18. We live in a grammar school area but they are super-selective. She might get in but we can make a decision about whether to sit 11+ later.

We like the emphasis on an enhanced/broadened curriculum. Lots of lovely new experiences and days out etc. Not just about trying to 'accelerate' kids academically.

However, she will have further to travel, will have to make new friends and we will have a lot less income. It's not better in every way at all (and this school is highly ranked in league tables), but it's just better in the ways that are important to us at the moment.

We can't really afford to send DC private long term, however, in retrospect, it would have benefited my immature, young DS for the first 3 school years as he wasn't ready for school at all. The smaller class sizes would have ensured more individual attention to get him through those early school years achieving in line with others. Although he goes to a good school, there are 26 in his class and I felt I had to be very much on my toes to, firstly find out what he is meant to be able to do, and secondly, support him at home with maths and reading.

On the other hand, a friend's DD goes to a private school with a class of also 26. They seem to be doing similar things as DS. Their DD is one of the oldest in the year, very mature, bright and very academic - I feel she would have done well anywhere, so I don't think its worth it for them (in my opinion). She was first enrolled in a very good state school then they changed their minds.

My DD (almost 4) is similar, I think she will be doing really well in our very good state primary, I wouldn't dream of sending her private. Also, there are music lessons and swimming for all and all sorts of clubs.

The only issues I have is MFL provision, its useless in most primary schools. Mine are bilingual already and DS has been really keen to learn Spanish when I taught him a little before our holidays. Unfortunately, I already support him with maths, we read every day, we do German regularly - I can't do any more with a 7 year old outside school.

flotilla - I can understand that your school may be a lovely start to schooling for your DD but you also want high academic aspirations.

Have you explored all the options? Isn't there a good/outstanding high achieving state school in the area, at least until age 11? You could offer her the rest and more with the extra diposable income. But it's your choice.

Gabsid, that would absolutely have been our preferred option. We hadn't intended to consider independent schools until aged 11. Her current school was our third choice. We would have been happy for her to stay at either of the other two schools till age 11. However one is a faith school, and both are over-subscribed, so we didn't get in to either of them on distance grounds (0.8 miles and 1.3 miles). So I guess it's just the luck of ones (very) local catchment area.

I think we could end up in a similar situation with our secondary choice (which luckily is still a few years off). The closest school I don't really want to put down as a choice, the next one would be a very good option for DS, but MFS provision is not good, our first choice would be a bit further away and is very popular.

However, going private is not an option, unless we both go back working full time, and I somehow feel its not the real world.

We can barely afford private school fees but I can't think of a more important thing to spend our hard earned cash on!
Private schools are a victim of their own success in my area and there are now very few places at S1 entry level, (year 7). Paying at primary level secures their place until aged 18 and is worth every penny.
No composite classes, small classes, etc etc etc.

In view of the crap state school we were offered (which was not one of our choices or our local school) I did not feel we had an alternative to going private.

Yes we can afford it, but I would rather use that money to pay off the mortgage. But in view of what was offered it was a no brainer.

Now two years on I can see there is a difference between the progress of my child and that of her two friends (all three summer born) who are both at state schools. My dd was not keen on school to start with, but with a small class there was nowhere to hide and the teacher had time to find ways to engage with her. That might have happened in a state school but I cannot be sure. So it seems like a good thing to have done right now, and dd is very settled and happy and is making progress.

I hope my dd will go to grammar for secondary, so with any luck we are helping that along and will make savings later!

My DC have all been to private primaries, and I have personal experience of four private primaries.

Of those four, I believe only two were worth the money.

I would be wary of the "lovely little schools" as these may not be very able to cope with SEN. The so-called SENCO at my DS's last school did not even meet with us after we got an Ed Psych diagnosis of dyspraxia, and then a further OT report about his handwriting problems. (His classroom teacher was great, though)

At his current school (still private) I am invited to meet with the SENCO often, and he has out of class tuition once a week with a SEN specialist teacher.

The wonderful opportunities available for sports, music, drama and so on at the two good schools I have experience of, just cannot be matched at any state schools nearby. (I am not saying this is true of all state schools, everywhere, how could I?)

So, look at all the local schools, both state and private, talk to parents to find out about local reputation, go to open days, and then decide which school/s you want, regardless of whether state or private.