DS 5.5 (Reception) started answering Teachers back.

[treadonthecracks]

On Monday DS's teacher phoned me to tell me he had been cheeky and answered the TA back when she asked him to stand quietly in line and stop flapping his arms about. He persisted in flapping arms and was told off further. Quite rightly of course.

Then the Teacher told him off and he cried. When he had calmed down the Teacher spoke to him, telling him that was not the behaviour expected in year one (he starts there in September) he was a bit stroppy, telling her he would be good for the new teachers in year one, but not for her. She told me he was borderline all day.

DH and I had a chat with him that evening and he knew he'd been wrong and we left it at that.

Today he has answered back to another TA and been on the thinking chair. We have had another, stronger, chat tonight.

I have an older DD at the same school, go in and help, and am confident all his teacher/TAs are great. I have stressed to his Teacher at parents evening that I want to be told if he is naughty as I want to nip it in the bud (DD, yr2, had a bad year with a teacher who can't control the class and it has made me frightened for DS - I want him firmly on the correct path).

Any advice on what to do? Would you issue sanctions? I am thinking losing a days screen time tomorrow if he's been rude at school. It is the last day of school tomorrow, he is tired and is usually a good boy. Am I over worrying this?

Thanks

You are over worrying! But yes you are also doing the right things. Keep coming down on him if you hear about/witness any rudeness. Don't forget he is just testing the waters ATM, not planning bank robberies!

I wouldnt issue a long punishment (such as a whole day lost of screentime), just yet, especially without an explicit warning that this might happen.

I would reward good behaviour and cross your fingers for the next 2days. Hopefully the summer break will help him be his usual self.

Is he a bit worried about the transition to year one? Children can behave/react oddly to change. And yes he's probably also tired, but you're quite right to bring him up on rudeness. Hopefully he'll be able to chat with you about his new class and be excited and positive.

Thank you all. That makes me feel much better.

Maybe he is a bit worried about Yr 1. He has been so positive about it I didn't really consider that. I will chat to him about that gently in the holidays.

I will stay clear of sanctions for now, have a another chat today before school and hope for the best!

I'd leave events in school to be dealt with in school. But having home standards which easily mesh with those expected elsewhere will make everything easier. So, especially with the big holidays coming up, I'd be thinking about how to ensure he speaks appropriately to the adults (including you) he will have dealings with over that time.

Please don't over punish him. Express your disappointment at home, but don't repunish him. School should deal with incidents in school imho. Actually over something so minor I would be a bit peeved they had bothered to contact me.

However I would also personally think about his behaviour in general incase there is an underlying cause/issue. (Which could just be that this TA is an idiot or hypocritical/arbitary, in which case you have the tough job of explaining to a 5 year old to respect the job if not the person.)

I would leave it, apart from pointing out that he will get in a lot of trouble if he doesn't do as he is told and it will serve him right. Make sure over the holiday that he isn't rude to you. A lot of parents put up with cheeky behaviour and so they think they can do it with anyone. I agree with meditrina.

Yes, don't worry, but I would look out as pp say for the same behaviour at home and how you deal with it. I think it's the age for upping the cheek, answering back etc so they need to learn firm boundaries for what is and isn't acceptable. Clearly it's a different environment at home, and there might be room for a bit more leeway, but IMO it's obvious when it's rude/cheeky answering back and that isn't allowed .

It's a one off and been dealt with.Move on.

Yes he is quite cheeky at home and I do let it ride sometimes. I will address that.

Mummytime, I know just what you mean. It's difficult to find the balance. I am trying to explain to him that the TA has to keep order or there would be no time to have fun in school - if everyone was messing about and not listening to the teacher they could never get anything done.

I also think maybe there is a bit of a conflict, where sometimes it's ok to be cheeky, you are messing about - as it's in fun and other times you have to be sensible. Children can find it hard to know which situation is which.

Boney - it was twice this week! I have calmed down though