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Primary education

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Original poster

What a shit day this has been...

13 replies

ColouringIn · 18/07/2012 19:50

My son si 9 (yr4) and has autism and ADHD (plus dyspraxia) and takes Medikinet to help him in school.

In January he was found to have raised blood pressure as a result (we think) of the Medikinet. e stopped it on advice of the very good GP we have and waited several weeks after which we restarted it as his BP settled.

Yesterday I did his BP and it was high, spoke with my GP who told me to stop the Medikinet.

So today....

DS does not cope with the sensory overload in the classroom which his Mediknet helps him deal with.

So this morning.....

He hides under the desk and has his hands over his ears.
Then he gets angry
Then he puts his hands round the throat of his lovely LSA Sad
Headteacher gets involved and speaks sternly to DS (this is fine - no issue with this as DS needs to have it reiterated that this action is unacceptable)
CAMHS come in for planned visit.... and DS is fine (of course he is - it's 1 to 1 and in a quiet environment) in the meantime I miss a call from the paediatrician Sad. I call back to get the answerphone - leave another message.
School deals with everything and then phones me at 1.40pm to ask me to collect DS as they cannot cope with him any longer.
School are lovely and I have a meeting with the head in the morning.
Once he is home and he is in a calm environment and 1-1 DS is calm again.

God it is a nightmare. One of his classmates has told me "we got extra playtime because of "DS" and he was running round the classroom".

DS is a totally different child on medication...in fact once he went on to medication he ploughed through the curriculum - one of the teachers said that DS had skewed all the school's results because once he went on medication he went up 17 points in a year! So the medication definitely works....unfortunately his BP goes up on it.

Looks as though he could be excluded the last two days of term. The school HAVE to safeguard their staff and the other children.

It's not my fault so why am I blaming myself for everything?

Referral into SS for a Child In Need meeting.....yet I asked SS to assess DS before this (in March) and they more or less told me to piss off as he did not meet their criteria.

Poor teachers
Poor school staff
Poor DS

OP posts:
cansu · 18/07/2012 19:56

Sounds awful colouring. I have two children with ASD so can totally get what you are going through. Lack of routine at end of term combined with lack of mess = nightmare for your ds. Is there an alternative medication? I know that if my ds doesn't have his mess he is pretty awfully behaved and also very anxious. keep talking to school and keep highlighting problems with his mess to keep them on board.

treadonthecracks · 18/07/2012 21:32

No advice, but it sounds like a really horrible day. I hope you find the help he needs and a solution very soon. Poor you. It sounds to me like you are doing a great job of looking out for your DS.

maples · 18/07/2012 21:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
ColouringIn · 21/07/2012 05:59

Great - another parent has referred to DS on Facebook of all places as "the little shit who spoilt the Yr 4 concert". Lovely eh?

He did not "spoil the Yr4 concert". The Yr4 concert went ahead and the children missed some lines out in error - naturally they carried but DS got confused by the change and then became distressed. A fact which should not have escaped this parent as she was in the front fucking row!

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TwllBach · 21/07/2012 06:04

Colouring I don't have any coerience of bein in your situation, but I would be so upset to read that on Facebook about my DS. I'm sorry that some people feel it is ok to talk about other peoples children on a public forum like that. Thanks

Babylon1 · 21/07/2012 06:09

ColouringIn, that's awful. Some people are so ignorant Sad

It's the holidays now, so give yourself and your ds a break, have some fun times, and face it with a fresh view in September.

You sound like a brilliant mum and you're doing all you possibly can. If SS don't want to take on a referral for ds again and they fob you off, ask for someone to complete a CAF Assessment - this is a way of accessing help and provision via a detailed individual action plan which all agencies identified within must stick to.

HTH, but above all try to enjoy the holidays and forget about stuck up parents that don't have a clue.

PoppadumPreach · 21/07/2012 06:17

colouringin - that Facebook comment is despicable - an adult posting something like that is totally unacceptable. The fact he/she has posted it knowing you would see it suggests to me they are looking for a reaction from you - don't give them the satisfaction - ignore. Hopefully someone else will call him/her on it.

I hope you can resolve situation with your son.

Original poster
ColouringIn · 21/07/2012 07:45

Thanks all, he has a CAF in place and it's been updated this week and is going back to panel on Wednesday. I have calmed down a lot in the past hour, I only know about the Facebook coments as someone mailed them to me but I have deactivated my account as Facebook is not a good platform for this kind of thing.

DS has an urgent appointment with the paediatrician on Wednesday morning so hopefully something can be sorted out with regard to medication.
I am not going to engage with her but will pass her comments on to the headteacher as it was part of a status moaning about the school in general. I am a Governor at the school so will keep it all entirely professional.

My exH did message her and tell her politely that DS is autistic and that on the day in question was confused and distressed but her response has been that she has a child with special needs too (one of her children is profoundly deaf) and that my DS "misbehaved and got away with it". She then went on to criticise the school for allowing DS to take part as he had spoilt the hard work of all the other children in Yr 4.Sad
I suppose I have never wondered what other parents think of DS because his emotions are controlled so easily once the sensory stuff is adressed and his medication really helps him with this. It distresses me to think that they regard DS as "a little shit" or a disruptive child (which he generally is not - only when the sensory input gets too much and even then he just retreats under a desk with his hands over his ears and his eyes shut.

BUT...I am going to move on now and not let it get to me otherwise the feelings will get very destructive and that is not good. DS is off for a few days with his Dad today and I am looking forward to a few days of rest. Smile

OP posts:
c0rms1lkye · 21/07/2012 07:50

what a horrible woman she is. Hopefully the other parents don't feel that way and someone will pull her on it. Well done your dh for putting her right though. Hope you have a better day today.

Born2BRiiiled · 21/07/2012 08:02

She sounds awful and you sound really great in the dignified way you are dealing with things. Try to take comfort in the fact that you are plainly just the better person. I'm so sorry you've had such a bad few days, and how difficult for your son. Hope you have a good summer though and that you manage to get somewhere.

nextphase · 21/07/2012 08:05

Sounds like you've done everything you could, and everyone else is not getting it.
Will the summer hols provide an environment where the meds aren't required to give his body a break?

And then, given the benefits, what are the possibilities of taking the meds to help with the overloading, and also meds to control the BP? I'm not a Dr, and so have no ideas about interactions, or BP meds for kids, but do know you can get meds to control some BP issues?

mummytime · 21/07/2012 08:10

She is horrible!

Now ignore her. Does your DCs school not have somewhere to take children who have become over stressed?

My DCs school has made a small room (cupboard) under the stairs with cushions, which is quiet or they can play soothing music, and low stimulus. dCs school has a lot of ASD children, which does mean people don't normally go around calling them "little shits" although I have had to argue with the " MC naughty kids have ASD, MC thick kids are dyslexic" line.

I think the medication has made things easy for the school, however they do need to have the normal coping strategies in place. I am horrified that they would exclude, not all schools exclude pupils of this age regularly, the only
Really bad thing was throttling the TA, which does need to be communicated is never acceptible (but a bolt hole might help).

Original poster
ColouringIn · 22/07/2012 10:47

Yes, the throttling thing really scared me (and the TA). DS has NEVER done anything like that before and I hope to God he will never do it again. It's been really impressed upon him that this was a serious issue.

I am calming down about the Facebook thing now. I won't let it ruin the summer. DS has gone to his Dad for a few days, he went yesterday and I went to bed last night at 8pm and woke at 9am this morning. God I needed that Smile

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