Reception Classes - am I being ridiculously PFB?

[Gargula]

My DS starts reception in September in a school with a two form entry. He is currently in nursery at this school and attends a half day. Reception class lists have just been posted and he is with none of his friends that he knows from nursery.

I am ridiculously, and possibly, unreasonably upset about this. My DS mentions three boys that he plays with almost every day and they are all in the other group.

I am not asking for him to be moved at all but WIBU to speak to the nursery teachers about their reasoning for moving him away from his friends? Or is this PFB?

It will be fine. Perhaps they felt he was over dependent on the others or maybe it was a random allocation about which they had no input. Sorry but no form lists satisfy everyone and they will mix together at play time.

It is PFB but understandable.

He will be absolutely fine :)

I don't think there's any harm in asking is there?!

I would want to know why too - it's a big enough move for them without being with at least one friend if there's no particular reason not to be. It's nice for them to have one 'known' factor.

However, at that age they do make friends quickly, so I'm sure he'll be fine :)

I wouldn't mention it firstly as Iike to fly under the radar for at least the first few days. Secondly because if there is ever a problem in this second class (if they agree to move him) you are going to feel awful about it.

In the school I work at the reception classes are sorted purely by age, they are then mixed up going into year 1.
I wouldn't expect the class groups to be decided by the nursery staff, even though it's on the same site it won't actually be part of the school. There will be lots of children starting who have not been at that nursery, there cannot be any preferential treatment for those that have.

You are being very PFb. He will make more friends

my ds4 starts this sept, we were asked to give a list of any friends they had who are also starting in sept and they would 'try' to make sure htey have at least one friend in their class (also 2 class entry) ds4 is with some friends and not others, some children dont have any close friends in their class. its just luck of the draw i think, but tbh i dont think it makes that much difference, there iwll be lots of new children, not just from the nursery and they will all be starting together.

when my ds3 started he wasnt with any friends and he is now in yr 2, going into yr 3 and just fine, it really didnt make a difference at all.

He might mention them every day because they all have the same key-worker and might do certain activities together. At other times he might play with a completely different set of children whose names he hasn't mentioned and he is with all of them next year! I wouldn't worry too much although I can understand why!

PFB but understandable.
Friendships are so vry fluid at this stage and all the children will mix in the playground and possibly also for PE and other things. By pick up on the first day he will have made lots of new friends and probably won't have much more then a passing thought about his nursery friends.
My ds is also starting this September, he is not my first born so I have done this before, we are a small village school so only one class of 25 and we know most through pre school. I would almost rather my ds was starting in a class with all new children, I feel he could do with increasing his social experience but we have what we have, there are only 8 boys in his class, he went to pre-school with 6 of them, the new two are twins. I am hoping and praying ds makes friends with at least one of the twins! We do have SEN issues around this but having seen how the friendship dynamics changed when dd started I know pre school friendships aren't everything. There were only 4 non pre school children in my dd's class when they started, 2 boys, 2 girls, by the end of the first day my dd had two new best friends and apart from her friendship with one child she has know from a baby they are still her best friends now going into Y3, My dd is friendly with the whole class but it is the children she didn't have all the history with (including the boys) that have formed her close circle of friends.
Don't worry, talk to the nursery teacher although it is highly unlikely they had anything to do with the class lists but they can help prepare your ds and get him exited about making new friends, they will probably also know which children who will be in his class would be a good match for your ds and assist you in having a get together with some of them before term starts.

Dont worry. It could be a good thing anyway because he'll make lots of new friends and won't feel tied to the old ones. Every one of my 3 dc moved away, friendship-wise, quite naturally from those with whom they were at pre-school. They change, evolve and want to socialise with new people. If anything this will help your ds do that by giving him some space.

Btw you are not being PFB (no such thing imho)

PFB understandably as others have said.

Even if he moved up to reception with his friends the chances are he will make new friends anyway.
They usually get split into sub groups in their class depending on ability after a while anyway.
He will be fine and will see his old friends every playtime anyway.

ime at secondary they all bin previous mates pretty soon anyway

it might be liberating for him

Wow I said 'anyway' A LOT!

Your DS will have an opportunity to see his three friends and you could invite them over to play. I would give it a try and see how he settles in.

My DS's YR has 2 classes, and they have mixed a lot this year. He was streamed into sets almost immediately.

My DS talks about a friend all the time. They have attended many parties together and I have never seen them play. I think he likes his name.

He is just about to go into Year 1 and the classes will be mixed up again.

He will be fine and your are being a little PFB.
He'll quickly make new friends in his class and will probably have forgotten all about nursery within a few days of starting school.

DD started at a school where 15 of the 45 children had been to her nursery. She honestly couldn't remember any of them when she started school. I think "nursery" and "school" go into separate compartments in their heads.

Yes, it is PFB, but very common and understandable too .
Nursery aren't that likely to have had input into the lists (unless there was a really strong case for separating some people), and it's a really good thing that everyone starting Reception is in a new group, rather than new children well, their parents, 4 yr olds aren't like that being a bit on the 'outside' when parents are already in friendship groups.
At 3/ 4/ 5/ 6, friendships are really fluid, and the children just play with whoever happens to be alongside them a lot of the time.
He'll be fine, honest

I had this for my second child a couple of weeks ago. I didn't say much when I was given her class allocation but it must have shown that I wasn't pleased as I got a call from the school when I got home , which gave some insight into reasons and I was pleased they cared. They said they would change it if I was really upset but after pondering for an evening I could see the positives and I have kept it how it is.

DD knew only one child from nursery in Reception and that child was not a close friend. She has been absolutely fine, bar the normal spats and fallings out. She has a close and good group of friends now at the end of the year, and has done since about half term of Autumn term. Your son will be perfectly OK. Try not to worry about it so much that he picks up on it.

Thanks for your comments everyone.

I did realise I was being a bit precious which is why I haven't spoken to the nursery teachers about it. There is no way I would want to try and pressure them to move him, and realise that it may not be a bad thing for him to branch out in his friendships.

Glad that some others are feeling the same way!