School moving children for the first time and my son is in going into Year 5

[Ninapanda]

My son is extremely distraught as the school have included him in the move and thought they were moving him with at least one friend but they were wrong and now all my son's old friends are staying in one class and he will be in the other. He has an IEP and also his grandmother died earlier this year from a brain tumour so he (and we) cannot stand any more trauma. I have appealed to the school and although the head has given me plenty of time to explain why my son is so upset, he has not granted my son his wish of staying where he felt secure (with friends and gentle class mates he has spent the past 6 years.) There are children who affect my son's emotional stability in the new class - some distract him from learning, which he finds hard enough anyway and some are mean to him (which he has never experienced in his old class).

Does anyone have any ideas who I can contact to support us in our attempt to have our son remain with children who give him the stability to learn at his best? I have not been told that there is any particular reason he has been selected for this move except to balance up ability levels.

Thank you for any advice.

Not sure really, but can empathise as DD's school do this every two years throughout school. Last time it happened, DD was without any of her friends and was similarly distraught. No amount of begging would change school's plans :(

DD was upset probably for a term. I personally felt that this negatively effected her learning. I did not let her know how gutted i was at all of this. In the end, i talked to her teachers, who were shocked to hear she was still feeling that way (is generally a child who wishes to please, bless her), we had to do loads of role play for situations, as well as doing outside school meet ups with friends. She has come out if it stronger and also has made a few new friends :)

So although bad at the beginning, it did work out eventually. Good luck,x

Generally speaking, parents get FAR more upset over this than children. There is a thread that's been around this week you might want to search for.

I don't think talk of it being a "trauma" is really the best way forwards. You should be trying to be positive and pointing out all the good things, even if you are a bit upset yourself. I obviously don't know what his special needs are, but if there is some social anxiety involved, then talk to the school about him having some transition work put in place, rather than saying he won't cope, when he may well flourish.
If they are mixing up the classes, then there will be planty of children he knows, and he will still be able to play with / talk to / meet up with his closer friends every play time and lunchtime.
Next year he will be moving to secondary, and very likely to be in a class with lots of children he's not yet met and quite probably only one or two he has met before - that will be that much harder if he's never been moved before. I would consider this a gentle introduction to the idea.