How can they miss out one child like this?

[DestinationUnknown]

Ds had an end of year assembly today, marking end of YR, parents invited. their teacher handed out certificates to each child in turn (random order), and said nice things about the positive things each child had brought to the class. Except my child did not get his name called, by mistake of course. Fortunately I was able to jump in and alert the TA to the omission, who then stopped the teacher from hs summing up and he was able to then call ds up and give him a (blank) certificate.

Ok so the situation was saved because i was there but I feel that no one checked they had them all and that my child appears to be invisible for things like this. I fear he's one of those kids destined to bump along being good enough to not be noticed / rewarded but singled out when he is misbehaving, as 5 yr olds do.

Feel quite crap about this, just need to let off a bit of steam I guess as there is nothing more to be done or said at school. But what if I hadn't been there or able to grab the TA? Grrrr.

Aw, I would be really upset too. How careless!

I know how you feel about bumping along. Feel my DD is destined to be the same.

As you say not much you can do now. Did your son notice?

I am sure this will have been a (very careless) admin error, rather than anything specific about your child...when all's said and done the majority of kids in the class are 'bumpers along' in their own way - all will have their moments of glory, and all will get told off! (as you say, all 5 yo do)

Thank goodness you were there. I bet they were mortified, really.

OH OP ..I soo feel for you and yes you do need to go GRRRRRR and let off steam as this would rankle me as well .

Obviosly it was an over sight and luckily they had some spare blank ones but still no excuse !

I had a similar expirience some years ago with ds1...something he cant remember BUT i can .

No point really in saying too much to school unless you do it in a passing comment somehow to HT..as they like the rest of us just want to break up for holidays !!!

When i did say something to teacher about my situation I got all emotional and made a fool of myself

Dont bottle it up ..might seem petty to others ...but rant away to me if you want .

Thank you all for understanding, I thought I was over-reacting. I'm not going to say anything at school, the teachers are lovely and ds has had a fab start to school. I don't think he realised that they had completely missed him off the list.

I just felt and still feel so cross that they missed him - I was sitting there thinking "ok well someone has to go near the end / almost at the end / last / WTF?!" a very crap feeling that marred the end of a lovely event.

Thought i was the first poster ..so i do not mean any offence to above posters [embarresed] ....,must learn to type quicker...ie more than 1 finger !!!!

I would be really, really upset. I think my DS will also bump along - I noticed in the photos of them or quotes from them that we're put up in reception there were few from him. On the induction afternoon for P1 he put his hand up for ages to ask a question but the teacher didn't ask what he wanted to ask but engaged with other children who were calling out.

I would send a note in saying how disappointed you were.

I still remember being the only child not to get a card at the school Christmas party when I was a 4 year old - because I was one of those quiet ones and I was too shy to say anything about it. Yes, the teacher should have checked and double checked.(I didn't like her anyway.)

It was a mistake! Teachers can make them as well! There's no way that it would have been done on purpose and I am sure that the teacher felt very bad about it. It's the end of a long year and a note to say how disappointed you were would be guaranteed to really piss the teacher off, especially as the situation was rectified in time. Cut them a bit of slack. I am sure that next time the teacher will check, in fact probably meant to this time, but got called away to stop a fight, dry some tears, deal with a friendship issue, clear up sick etc etc etc.

Erm see my post of 21.34 - I have no intention of saying anything, just wanted to let off steam here. I take it that's ok? I also said in my op that I know it was a mistake - just a pretty rubbish one.

Aww that would make me sad too. It feels like that with ds too. The teachers are always very positive about him and he seems to be genuinely well liked but he never gets awards or picked for anything.

muppet1969...are you a teacher ??.... I think OP made it clear she knew it was a clerical error but she was just abit annoyed/knarked about it ..and wanted to let off steam.....I thought that was what we could do here...I dont think she was actually having a go at teachers ?

We had a similar situation recently with the weekly Gold Star Class Pupil award. My DD had noticed that some students had got this for a 2nd time this year when she hadn't received it at all. I quietly asked the teacher if everyone would get this at least once, which she confirmed. She then twigged that DD obviously hadn't been awarded it (as I'd asked). She checked her book and realised that she had omitted DD accidently. She was absolutely mortified with the oversight. So accidents do happen - but I'm glad for DD's sake that I did mention it.

My dd2 is like this, have posted a few times, she just seems to be overlooked, both in nursery + reception. Have had to remind + remind teachers. I don't know why, she is generally good in class, making good progress, teacher raves about how intelligent she is, but she just isn't as charismatic as others. Hurts me more than her. Hoping yr1 teacher is more on the ball. Hoping for your ds it is an awful one off mistake.

It does happen sometimes, but whilst for the teacher it's a 'oops' for the child it can be confirmation of the fact that you are invisible or that no one listens to you.
Which is why I keep tick lists of everything, including when I put up displays.
Every child should be able to point to something and say 'That's mine' or remember being treated as an individual and spoken to face to face on a daily basis.
Hopefully, the cringe factor of what happened will make sure the event was memorable to the teacher and never repeated.

I understand where you are coming from,and yes unfortunately this may continue through his school days.
I know because there was a girl in our class at my second school,who when it came to a class reunion,we all had to think hard who she was.When we remembered we all agreed she had been nice,but quiet.In fact,most of us ended up remembering her when she said she was the friend of x.
She always had friends which was a positive,and I expect your DS will too.
She also said herself,that the Head teacher of the school couldnt remember her either,after she had been there 5 years.
But she had the last laugh.At the reunion,she told us she had married somebody sensible,and they had built up a thriving retail business.She wasnt lying.I knew about the business.And really it was because she was "nice",that the business had gone from strength to strength,and people where she now lived,certainly knew who she was!

I know how you feel, OP. It would be absolutely heart-wrenching for me and have had similar with DS1 being completely overlooked. It was mortifying, and he noticed it. I hope your DS, because he's so little, wouldn't have noticed too much or thought about it for long. If it's any consolation, I'm sure the teachers concerned will be horrified at their omission - it is an easy mistake to make when distracted but most teachers work very hard to ensure no-one is overlooked. They will probably try to make it up to him in some way next term, so keep an eye out, and if not, perhaps gently raise it during a parents' evening in the future, conversationally, and not in a complaining sort of way, just to 'remind' them that DS is due a bit of limelight!

DS has been like this in reception - it not helped it's an very over large class.

He's not had a well done certificate all year - I have mention it to be told I must be wrong. I think he's given up hope of getting one.

Unfortunately there have been a few incidents recently with one know wind up merchant in his class and he's been getting attention for misbehaving quite badly twice in response to prolonged provocation - their description of events not mine.

He had a very formulaic report and the only personal bit was about these two incidents, dealt with firmly at time by school and us, nothing else. It was like he'd only been noticed for this.

I'm worried my well behaved little boy is going to morph into a little terror to get noticed. Hopefully next year teacher will be better with him.

Hi DestinationUnknown:

First off I'm ever so sorry for your DS - My DD was missed out for attendance certificates and was totally devastated. I think you have to take the view that this kind of thing can and does happen. Which is hard - but means you can move forward with the school about the really concerning thing which is that your son is getting attention from school for all the wrong reasons.

My solution would be to put this into your feedback to the school on his end of year report. Most schools ask for parental response to reports - if not - just send in a typed letter. Make it clear that you are happy with some or most things, but that you are increasingly concerned that your DS is not being recognised for achievement or positive aspects of his behavior/ learning and that you hope this will be rectified in Year 1.

By sending a letter you are formally airing your concern, it expresses a complaint mildly, but it can be referred back to next year if things don't improve. As ever follow the chain - complaint to teacher, then Head, then governors - but be prepared to take this on. Schools should really make every effort to ensure children are recognised and rewarded - especially in terms of certificates at assemblies - it really is important each child gets a fair shake at this (our school rigorously awards 2 a week - so each child gets 2 certificates a year + there are a few extra for rewarding outstanding achievement/ behavior/ effort and those are the really prized ones).

One thing to bear in mind is that these are the last few days with this year's teacher and next year's teacher will be different, and hopefully much better. There will always be years when your DC gets on and works well with a teacher and years when it just doesn't seem to go as well (teacher doesn't warm to your child, child doesn't like teacher, etc...). If this is your worst year of the 7 in primary school, then trust me count yourself lucky!

Thanks again for the nice words. I definitely don't think ds has had a bad year, far from it. And I'm aware that we as parents only ever get to see a quick snapshot of what is happening. I am no doubt, as the mother of a PFB, very sensitive anyway but have felt when I've seen things in school that ds is often "told off" (rightly, as he's messing about or responding to provocation) but I don't often see him rewarded or noticed for good behaviour to balance things out.

But then I'm not there much so it is purely my sensitivities at play here, and they can't spend every minute praising the kids for sitting nicely etc etc. Have had a bad week personally myself (also to do with being overlooked!) so am certainly projecting here anyway.

Am definitely not raising anything with the school, they really are lovely. I just wish that they could be perfect when it comes to completely fair distribution of certificates, praise, etc. But no-one's perfect!