Getting help in school for bright children...

[Zeppmum]

Ok,Im new to this website but from reading some of the older posts i will get honest opinons and possibly some advice towards the next step..

My daughter who is currently at the end of her year 3,came home with her report the other night,she is level 4a reading,3a literacy,3c maths.
Iam proud of her as all parents are about their own,but her teacher has said over the past year,she is exceptionally bright,there are a few others in her class like it,so im not saying shes the golden child by any means,but now she is going into year 4 i was hoping with said results on report that she may be put on the Gifted and Talented List..
Wny am i being so pushy?,Because shes told me at home that she wants more challenging work at school-if shes already 3 years ahead mentally in certain aspects of her learning(her literacy,im not saying all)then shouldnt she be given work or at least some form of additional learning that is at her level?
Any comments or advice welcome please :)

Now on the other hand,were my kids emotionally damaged or from a "poor"background(which iam,just not that poor that i feel the need to leech off the social to feed any addiction!,)then i and they would be having all sorts of help and support-educational included thrown at us..Makes me bloody seethe...

Just wow!!

Crikey didnt read that before posting my comment and just for the record my dd is adopted, damaged by her birth mums drinking, been in care all her life and nope she doesnt have any benefits for the fact shes struggling!

I apologise if I've offended anyone, but it's my own opinion, everyone is entitled to one and if anyone has taken offence then that is their opinion,that's all.

I am not offended Zeppmum, I just find it sad that you are so envious of any help that children who struggle educationally for whatever reason, may get (help that is often fought long and hard for by parents).

I am glad your dd is doing so well, and hope that you find a way to get the school to meet your daughter's needs.

To be blunt (as I think you're ok with that) then whilst your DD is clearly doing well, her Maths/literacy scores are average for her age and her reading only is ahead - it is very unusual in my experience for a child to have specific G & T input around an advanced reading level only, as it is probably one of the easier things to cater for in a differentiated classroom.

Plus you say in your OP that there are others in her classroom at similar levels, so that should be straightforward for her teacher.

Who do you think will grow up more successful? Your dd or the child who gets lots of extra help because they are emotionally damaged by an atrocious homelife? Do you REALLY think it is fair to be jealous of the actually very limited help such a child would get? Is it more fair to write them off, because they are messed up enough already, so it would be cheaper to forget about them and focus on those children whose parents give a damn? Perhaps we should just exterminate them so they don't grow up to repeat the behaviour of their parents and mess things up for the rest of us?????

By raising attainment for struggling students ALL our children benefit - the 1c's move to the mid-steam, then 2b's contribute ideas to class discussions, the 3c's are motivated to try harder by the 2a's nipping at their heals, the 4a's are push themselves further and concentrate more as the 4b's knuckle down the 5's go into competion with the eye on the prize of a level 6 - the children themselves do all of this and more as when acheivement levels rise for one group there is a survival of the fitest instinct that kicks in for all the others.

As a mum of bright children I would be more than happy for the teacher to spend extra time and resources on more struggling students and will delight in their progress as much as that of my own.

If you really believe that children with SEN get support 'thrown at them' you clearly have no idea how the system works.

It so sad that these children, who havent asked to be born in to the family thats struggling or has parents who are addicts and struggling to cope with life themselves are judged the way you are judging them Zeppmum, your daughter is so lucky to come from a family that doesnt struggle or have the needs that these children who you are so annoyed with do. God forbid anything ever changed in your life and you became that family in need would you still feel the same then? What if tomorrow you lost your job and became depressed and needed help or support? Whos to say in 10 yrs something major doesnt happen and you turn to drink to cope and you are that addict? Unless you are walking in the shoes of someone who is that way who are you to judge and make assumptions about something you know absolutely nothing about! Why should these children not get the support they deserve, you daughter is lucky to come home to a perfect life, perfect family and get all her needs met, think about the child whos going home to nothing and the parent who cries themself to sleep every night because they cant give their child what your child gets, personally I think your very selfish to think that just because these children come from families who need support they dont desrve the help.

Very well said littlemiss

OP I think just relax a bit. Your dd is doing well and you can feel good about that. She is not a genius crying out for special attention and, as a good reader she can continue to improve through home reading. There are maths games etc if you want to encourage that. But it sounds as though you have a child who is flourishing in the school system. You might be better spending your energy on working on your knowledge about and empathy for those not doing so well, tbh, stunning ignorance on display there!

Or you could try some empathy for all those seething mothers of real genius children who are really annoyed that people like your dd, who is not a real genius, are looking for extra attention that their child deserves more... or would you consider such parents conceited and selfish? Besides which, your dd is getting work appropriate to her current level, or she wouldn't be doing work at that level in the first place.

Or you could try some empathy for all those seething mothers of real genius children who are really annoyed that people like your dd, who is not a real genius, are looking for extra attention that their child deserves more... or would you consider such parents conceited and selfish? Besides which, your dd is getting work appropriate to her current level, or she wouldn't be doing work at that level in the first place.

Now on the other hand,were my kids emotionally damaged or from a "poor"background(which iam,just not that poor that i feel the need to leech off the social to feed any addiction!,)then i and they would be having all sorts of help and support-educational included thrown at us..Makes me bloody seethe...

Twats like you make me seethe. Just my opinion of course.

It is actually possible to be both poor and profoundly gifted, in case you didn't know. My ds is. And it doesn't mean any extra help educationally thrown at him.

I find your comments about people on benefits offensive.

Obviously I'm not empathetic so I won't try to defend myself in a long drawn out post and even go into details about my life, story of my life whatever, yes my daughters are lucky not to be dragged up or born into a family where the parents only intention of having children was to get more money out of the welfare state, why shouldn't people who work, bring their children up to the best they can- whether special needs or not, have the help and education they need, I'm not saying that at all- as I said before EVERY child needs to be accounted for, not just those that are labelled bright or Sen.. I think some people need to read posts properly before just being so defensive. Get a proper perspective of a few alternate views before shouting the odds. You can make excuses for the rest of your children's lives and put up with your lot, but not everyone is so comfortable with the system. My views, my right to speak them, your right to view yours. End of, thank you..

"Now on the other hand,were my kids emotionally damaged or from a "poor"background(which iam,just not that poor that i feel the need to leech off the social to feed any addiction!,)then i and they would be having all sorts of help and support-educational included thrown at us..Makes me bloody seethe..."

Let's hope your child has inherited kindness, good manners qnd sensitivity from someone else in the family. Because if he hasn't she'll find life much harder than she will if she isn't given enough "challenging work".

But your DD is getting the help and education she needs which has enabled her to do as well as she is doing. She is able, but not exceptional; therefore her needs should be catered for by normal classroom differentiation.

Zeppmum, you are the one sounding defensive.

If you don't mind me pointing out though, my ds was not "born into a family where the parents only intention of having children was to get more money out of the welfare state," He is not being dragged up. Plenty of children like him are poor and bright. It is quite possible to be poor and care for your children and do the best you possibly can to improve their chances, without sneering at those less fortunate than you are.

No excuses being made here, just calling you on your attitude to people on benefits.
Your attitude stinks and it is you who needs a proper perspective.

Thanks CecilyP, yes she should but at the moment no, that's what my concern is, the school have said this morning she is going to get differentiated work so Iam happy with that result.

Dirtyharriet - did you not gather that my comments about parents of "real genius children" was intended to show that the OP's attitude sounds unpleasant whoever's mouth it comes out of, because it is an attitude based on a self-centred analysis of your own needs and situation, comparing them to the needs of someone in an entirely different situation (and of whose situation you have no detailed knowledge whatsoever), and then assessing your own needs to be wholly superior and more virtuous??? Or did you really think that I am sympathetic towards the anger of seething mothers of genius children????? I object strongly to your printing my words out in bold prior to referring to twats when you either clearly haven't understood them, or have misused them for your own ends.

" Get a proper perspective of a few alternate views before shouting the odds."

The irony.

The irony... Yes the irony... Having come from a country where half of my family was killed and only a few of my friends survived, to educate myself and with a disability that I have from surviving all of that. Not to sit and expect handouts and everything to me I earnt through hard work and you think this is irony.. I do not wish to divulge my life on a forum, I have the right to air my views and ask for opinions. You don't like mine, fair enough, but I have had more experience of life, at the worst. I shall not say anymore on this post, my question has been answered, Thank You.

I have been reading this all with interest
My little one is moving in to year 3 in Sept
I've been told he's bright.
His results 3a in everything except handwriting in which he got a 3.
His teacher said he'd done really well, above the average. Having looked at this post I think 3a in year 2 is pretty darn good. He's still a pesky 7 year old though, & his teacher says he's chatty & easily bored, maybe I should be trying to get him on the G&T list? Or maybe I should sit back and chill with that G&T in my hand.

As someone with a DD who is well ahead the big thing I have done a school keep encouraging me in is to broaden her experiences - she gets the differentiated work at school. To encourage her in other areas such as music and drama as lets face these skills then help you hugely in future life. Also to build on what is taught in the classroom in life outside school so visit places that tie in with topics that are being covered at school.
Gifted and Talented list in my eyes is only a title nothing more.
The thing I really love is that my DD is encouraged to help and support the children who don't find life so easy.

Putting aside some of your very aggressive and unpleasant views about children with SEN, your daughter needs ... Books. If she is a strong reader she will need access to appropriate reading material which is freely available in the local library. long before gifted and talented lists etc my mum catered for me by taking me to the library every Saturday where I selected about ten new books each week. I didn't need a new curriculum and neither does your daughter. I am sure the teacher will be providing your daughter and others who have good literacy skills with appropriate activities in class. if you start feeding into the whole boredom at school rubbish I am sure we will soon see posts about how my daughter in,t poorly behaved she is just bored threads!