Sports day Disaster

[Chippychop]

It started when he trooped out in his school trousers as he couldn't find his shorts...why no one could have helped him I rushed in and found them immediately. Then he was put in and taken out and put and taken out of various "groups" the group he ended up in had only yr2's (he's yr1) and no one else from his "house" - at this stage he couldnt hold it together and got all upset... Unsurprisingly he
then went on to lose every running race. tonight he's gutted poor lamb that he "didn't win a single medal and everyone will say he "cheated" "As he dropped the baton too in the relay. What to say... What to do... I feel for him and I know it's hard when you are 6 and think you are invincible. How do i get his confidence back? He does multi sports, football and swimming so it's not as if he doesn't like sports but he is quite sensitive and does get embarrassed easy and he is he sort of boy who can dwell and worry about things. He tries so hard at school though. I just wish the teachers had got his grouping right I'm sure we could have avoided this!

poor thing!! My heart goes out to him!

can you set him some sort of challenge that, if he is successful, you reward him?

Mine really enjoyed the Reading challenge at the library last year. Not every library has the same prizes but every kid that completes the challenge of reading 6 books gets rewarded in some way.

Why didn't you tell the teachers he'd been put in the wrong group?

I hate sports day with a passion (but I have academic and not sporty children )

What a shame that your DS's best is not good enough.

What a nasty nasty thing to say clairebunting and so assumptive and unhelpful. anything my kids do is good enough as long as they are happy I couldnt care less if he came last walking backwards! This is about his feelings and how I manage them as my heart is breaking for him. I did speak to the teachers at the
time and individually they were lovely but busy as it was sports day, the form teacher gave him an extra sticker at the end because he had been moved about. Do you think I should say anything else?

I had this several years ago with my son when he was 6, and is not "sporty" at all! I went to a local trophy manufacturer and got him a proper medal (cost about £2.50) and DH and I awarded it to him as a special award for "trying his best". He still says that medal is more important than anything he has got since, maybe you can do this?

That's the worst of sports day. How I hate it. DS lost every race in KS 1 but a new school, new teachers he as put in for completely different races and in year 4 won every single race. Yes everyone.

I think it is worth having a chat with the teachers in eleven months time to Mae sure the same thing doesnt happen again

Saw a great cartoon on Facebook, it's God interviewing animals to get them a place on the ark. There are all different species.

Caption reads. To make this fair I will set you all the same challenge. The first one to the top of the tree wins.

If its between the monkey and the pony ......

Your school should know each child's strengths and especially their year group!

No I'd have bigged up the extra sticker 'You got that sticker for trying extra hard even though you were against the boys who are a year older...lets get cake to celebrate'

If he doesn't mention it again then just forget about it

It wasn't nasty. It's my standard reaction to many topics here when children don't do as well as their parents wish, which is then followed by looking for someone to blame.

I don't think it was a nasty comment.

And in its bluntness is truth. If he did his best, worked and and kept trying, that is what you praise him for. If, as you say, the outcome doesn't matter to you, that is what you must show him.

If a child sees that an adult's mood etc does not match their words, it may be more problematic, but as you post that you genuinely don't mind it should be easy for you to stay upbeat, praise him for his efforts and just let him 'catch' your mood.

I could've written your post a few years ago, and DS is in Y5 now.

Unlike Hopeforever's son, my DS has never improved in sports and is still last in every race, so my focus has been on helping him to manage the embarrassment he feels with every 'failure' (made more acute by the fact that his group of friends are all very talented at sports). It is a shame for him because, unlike DD, who is equally bad at sports but is able to laugh about it and just doesn't care, this stuff really really matters to him.

I do this by praising effort (he tries out for every team, every year, but has never been successful, still trying though...) and reminding him of all the things he is good at. It's all you can do I think.

Will try all of the things suggested if I havent already tried them. So thanks for you helpful suggestions This morning he was upbeat and ultra helpful... I did buy him a new ds game and let him sleep in my bed and invite a friend to tea so hopefully have taken his mind off sports day. I wish he was the sort of kid who could brush things like this but he's not and I just need to be aware of it

some children just find lessons in life harder to get to grips with. Its not sports day per se. Many of us could substitute that for school play, class rep, art, singing etc. At some point everyone has to accept that we all are different - all with talent and all with weak areas.
DS2 would cry with frustration if he didn't win - even when he tried his best. Even now, he is still learning to accept defeat and move on. The other 2 never got bothered by not 'winning'.

Just a thought - there's loads of chocolate medals doing the rounds atm courtesy of London 2012. I've seen them in Sainsbury's and Tescos.

Perhaps have a couple of friends of his around, organise a mini race and give them all choccy medals for doing so well.

Bless him. x

Just had my sons report back, now y6 and about to start High school, As I said up thread, he has never been very sporty (unlike his twin!) and this is reflected in the is most recent report with a tick in the "very little improvement" column, but it does clarify it to say he was always tried, just wasn't a sporty child! He said to me "Mum, you always said it isnt the winning that counts but trying your best, and you always encoraged me, but I'm useless at sport, so I'll concentrate on what I'm VERY good at!" I could have cried, but it shows that they do come to terms with it as they mature, its just very painful to watch when it is all happening!

Oh bubby how sweet! I have had a word with his teacher and agreed a plan to help his confidence where appropriate. Essentially it's a confidence issue as he can be a bit shy. Kids! Don't you just love them!

some children just find lessons in life harder to get to grips with.

that is so true. DS lost by a close margin & cried his eyes out yesterday. Someone else said that Sports Day is about learning to lose & in DS's case he does need to learn to lose. However painful it is for him.

does he do sporty things outside of school? there are so many to choose from most kids are going to find something to enjoy. Riding, swimming, climbing walls, bowling, skating etc etc

I find it bit said when parents (not op I hasten to add) say their child is not sporty - how can they know until they've tried every sport? I help with kids running and I have heard so many parents say their kid is no good at running 'just like me as a kid' - writing them off at age 6!

agree newgirl. I run a sport club at school, an unusual sport that almost none of the parents will have mastered. I was delighted to be able to tell parent, teacher and grandparent of one child that their " unco-ordinated clumsy child" was doing just fine and had the "go for it" attitude this sport takes.
Needless to say , my sport will not feature in sports day.