A tiny niggle but a "big deal" to dd.

[insanityscratching]

Dd is in yr4, she has ASD and a statement giving her 20 hours support in a wonderful and inclusive school. She is academically very able and so her support doesn't cover numeracy and literacy but does lunchtimes and break times and unstructured times.
Her TA caught me yesterday to say she had been very stressed but hadn't been able to say what had bothered her (not unusual)
Anyway the floodgates opened when she got home and alongside the flour baby stressing her out (sorted now as her TA will babysit) was the literacy issue. Yesterday the literacy teacher (not her class teacher as they are streamed) made a spelling mistake which dd pointed out (she would do because she spells everything properly) but instead of the teacher checking with a dictionary she insisted dd was wrong (she wasn't) and forced dd to write it spelled wrong in her book.
Now I know to most children it wouldn't bother them but dd is a little obsessive and there won't be another mistake in her book and so this has spoiled her book for her. Her TA seemed a bit unwilling to speak to the teacher (not surprisingly) so I guess I can either forget about it but dd won't and she will continue to stress or I can raise it myself.
The literacy teacher is great and I don't want to embarrass her but dd will stress about this. Is there a way to mention it that is as painless as possible do you think?

Just tell the teacher how much it upsets your dd and then ask if there is a way she can change it.

I have no problems with teachers being wrong sometimes as long as they are prepared to acknowledge it. As it is a big deal to your dd I would not leave it.

To be honest I think that if the TA is unwilling to speak to her you should either do so yourself, if you feel able, of speak to your SENCO. Do not just ignore if it upsets your daughter.

Tippex is the answer for your DD's book, I would think; unless there's a chance that it was one of those words with more than one spelling?

Just be direct: 'DD mentioned this. We've checked it, and the accepted spelling is this; so DD will want to change it in her book, being a bit of a perfectionist.'

Gosh well you must say something IMO. I don't think I would go through the class teacher, I think I would speak directly to the literacy teacher and explain how its made your DD feel.

IMO by involving more people that weren't involved (eg class teacher/TA ) it makes it more of an issue. It just needs addressing with the person that made the error.

This is a toughy. It is annoying that the teacher wouldn't take advantage of a learning opportunity and maybe get several children to check dictionaries - who can find it first etc.

Anyway, it didn't happen. My first reaction is that your DD will need to learn strategies for coping when she thinks things are wrong. You can sort the spelling mistake issue - would she be okay with a sticker over the wrong spelling and the correct one on the top?

I think fire-fighting this issue with a strategy to help your daughter cope with the error but raise the wider issue at the next meeting.

Re the teaching issue - If you feel confident about talking to someone at the school, a quiet word might be worth doing. I make spelling mistakes on the board relatively frequently - I have no idea why as I am a good speller but something about being so close to the board and thinking three steps ahead means I make weird errors. I make teaching points out of it - we discuss the error, compare possible spellings, decide on the correct one. Children in my classes know that a correction is welcomed by me. Your daughter's literacy teacher may lack the confidence to do this and may not know how to recover an error.

I would definitely say something.

the depth of misunderstanding re: ASD in this situation is enormous. My dd would react in the same way, and it is not fair to gloss over it all (not you - the teachers)

I would stress to the literacy teacher that (as you have said here) that just because dd has no academic needs does not mean she does not have complex needs. (I assume your dd pointed out the error 'nicely'? If not, you can agree a way forward with the literacy teacher for how to get your dd managing these situations better)

I also think the TA could and should raise it with the teacher concerned - is there any way you can present a united front with the TA? It is not about embarrassing the literacy teacher (anyone can make mistakes - this is also something that maybe could be worked on with your dd, although I understand she is as upset at having to spoil her book as about the original mistake), but about helping your dd to be comfortable and able to learn - this amount of distraction and upset will not help her be settled in literacy lessons (my dd would not be able to concentrate for quite a while afterwards, due to being stressed abut the mistake)

TBH the fact that she actually had the confidence to raise the spelling issue there and then with the teacher is a huge positive for dd and indicative of the trust she has in her. It's slightly disappointing that the teacher didn't recognise that at the time and her TA didn't recognise it this morning really as it is an objective in her statement.
I know she needs to be able to cope when things are wrong but what is a first for dd is that she tried to pre empt a wrong from happening.
I'll speak to the literacy teacher and just mention that I know it's minor but dd finds it a lot more significant. I'll also point out how positive it is that she did mention it at the time and how happy I am that she obviously has a great deal of trust in her as a teacher to hopefully sweeten the pill.

Great approach IME OP

oh, what a shame it was your dd's first moment of 'speaking up', insanity.

I would stress this too, when talking to the teacher - the last thing you want (and that any teacher should want) is for your dd to go back to internalising everything.

I agree something needs to be said BUT to me the big issue is the perfectionist one - at some point your dd is going to have to accept there will be errors in her book & in her work!!!

Yy, say something and flatter the teacher by explaining what great progress your DD has made by telling her.

What was the word, BTW?

Tethers the word was blonde her teacher spelled it blound

Helen dd copes with getting things wrong when it's something she doesn't know so she copes with getting sums wrong, she copes with corrections it's more that if she knows something is right (as in a spelling) then she wouldn't mis spell it ever. And whilst she would comment that it was spelled wrong elsewhere it would be her having to replicate it in her book that would bother her rather than it being spelled wrong.

Blond I can understand. I think thats the American spelling. But blound?

Blound? Hmm, seems like the teacher has made an error and simply not known how to fix it. Well worth a friendly chat. I wouldn't go through the TA - politics can be strange here and it puts the TA in a tough position.

As a secondary teacher, I sometimes find difficulties arising when children (certainly not just those with ASD I must say) have believed something to be the case but I 'unteach' it. It can be upsetting to hear that something you 'knew' to be fact is not. This is why working on strategies to cope with the mistakes of others is useful.

Will she be ok with tippex or a white sticker? She does need this fixed in her book - as do the other children actually.

Oh dear Insanity that is an appalling spelling mistake!!!

blond maybe!!!

I know it's a bad spelling and it is one of the words that are possible vocabulary for Friday's Big Write so 25 children have the wrong spelling that they will replicate on Friday(there is no way dd will replicate it again) so if I don't mention it her teacher may well indicate it's wrong in her piece of writing and upset her again.

Oh you must say something. 25 children spelling it as blound? Its not even phonically right!

No Helen definitely with a U because dd kept on and on about how can you put a U in?

I would say something, that would really upset DS1 (AS) well spelling issues wouldn't as his spelling is poor, but something along similar lines would and has. I have always mentioned it to the teacher and they have never had any idea how much it has affected him and tried to be more careful in the future.