Chosing a school - how important is distance / the school run?

[Nasturtiumsalad]

I am also looking at primary schools for our daughter. We have two main choices:

School A: better academically, warm envirmonment, faith school (this is important to us), but a 20 min drive or 45 mins on public transport and would have to rely on setting up a school run in order to manage it (we both work, in a different direction to the school).

School B: OFSTED outstanding (though report was a few years ago) and very well regarded locally, though on gut feeling we found the environment cold and it was not amazing, taking a bulge class so will be in temporary accomodation for the first year on a different site, non-faith, but 5 mins walking distance.

Overall, we prefer school A, except for the school run, which is a real headache. Any advice on how much this matters would be appreciated.

Strix, maybe your local school isn't OFSTED outstanding and very well regarded locally like the OPs though.

Given a choice between an excellent local school and an equally excellent school which is a 20 min drive/45 min bus ride, why wouldn't you factor in the commute?!

Its the only/main difference between them (the faith part is a bit of a red herring really, as generally that is used to justify that it is an excellent school, which we already know from the OFSTED report. Anyone who has a strong faith will be practicing it outside of school so doesn't really NEED to go to a faith school - school should be for all the other aspects of life not taught at home and church.)

Academic success more important to you than a happy child (without stressed-school-run-ragged-parents) and a child with local friends who they can see easily?

That was to strix btw

It's not reasonable to expect friends to take your children to school and pick them up every day, as soon as you have more than one child involved the odds of illness/emergencies occuring rocket up. Also there are play dates and after school clubs to factor in once they get a little older. I'm very fortunate to have a very good friend who lives close by, we cover the school run for each other in the event of illness etc but the sheer logistics of doing it every day would be overwhelming. I think going to the school fair is an excellent idea, watch how the children interact with each other and with the teachers, that will give you a much better feel for the overall feel of the school. Talk to the parents too, most will be happy to discuss the pro's and con's.

Ofsted report doesn't mean much to me, but OP already knows that the commute will be a major headache. I hate commuting & even when I was a little child, decade before I became an eco-freak, I vowed that if I ever had kids I would live within walking distance of their primary school. I would not get caught up in having to drive.

I'm with you Adventures - my dh and I both had long commutes to school and it's made us obsessive about not commuting to work. We live somewhere a bit unusual just so we can both walk. I used to sit on the bus working out how many weeks a year this time was adding up to. It's made me hate the country with a passion and as a consequence I've always lived in bonkersly built up areas.
A psychologist whose name I forget wrote a paper about how people make the wrong choice when choosing whether to live 10 minutes or 40 minutes from work. They can feel/understand the benefits of an extra room or bigger garden more easily than how they'd feel being stuck in the car each day. But in fact the commute is a daily thing and the extra room might be only used a few times a year, therefore their happiness is increased by the ease of journey more than by the extra space. But it's an abstract that most of us find difficult to project ourselves into.
If that makes any sense. Which I could find the link.

Op states that a faith school is important to her (as it is to me). So I am offering my experience that with my eldest now in year 4 I do not regret the choice.

There ate some logistical complications, like hanging round after school for activities to finish whilst entertaining other children.

But then when we go to church, we see their classmates. This is great (and important). I am not here to debate the morality of the existence of faith schools.

Nowhere did I compare anything to a happy child. That was quite patronising so I won't comment on it any further.

Incidentally, what I would check out is what commute others have who are at the school. If you are the only one commuting that will be harder than if you are one of many. I would make the same point about how many of the other families have two full-time working arents. I say this because it affects the medium of communication and if you are the only one not standing at the school gate you may find you are left well out of the loop - nt intentionally but it happens.

It wasn't patronising ~ I was very surprised by your comment; You said, "The travel is not as important as academic success and who they go to school with", which I take to mean that you see academic success (in a primary aged pupil) as the most important thing. Others and I have suggested that unnecessary travel could make it a stressful time for parents and make things more complicated for making friends locally and keeping up friendships too. Did I misunderstand what you meant?

OP, I also posted on mn about whether to change my dd's school or not. Opinions were divided, as here, and I am not sure how helpful other people's experiences were in the end.

But what is useful is advice like 'go and see the school yourself'. It is really important to see the school first-hand - as well as going to the school fair (usually chaotic) I would ring the office and ask for a proper appointment so that you get to see the children in school hours, which is important. Most schools are fine with this.

And then you took a giant leap equating your points to a child's happiness, as if that's not one of my priorities. The implication was indeed patronising.

dillnameddog I agree it's important to go and see the school. Unfortunately, School B were very inflexible when I spoke to them on the phone about tours. Even though they have announced a late bulge class, they weren't prepared to offer any more tours, which didn't add to our impressions. I had quite a heated conversation with the school secretary about it...

However, since I've spoken to a couple of parents who've said that the head is a bit of a dragon quite formidable and doesn't try to impress pushy middle-class? parents but that the school and kids are her passion.

Perhaps the secretary was being inflexible, thinking about the "tour" which may have involved a presentation and formal tour, so if you used the word "tour" (which you may or may not have done) perhaps that instantly closed the doors? Maybe if you called and asked for a brief visit to the school as you were unable to attend the formal tours?

No, not a giant leap. I apologise if you saw it as patronising, as it certainly wasn't intended to be , but I am genuinely surprised that academic success is the most important thing to you. What you didn't seem to be doing (intentionally or otherwise) was linking the implications of a journey to the impact on the child/ren. From what others had posted above, the negative implications of travel had been quite obvious to me but maybe we're reading posts differently.

Nasturtium school secretaries are like bulldogs IME, and if the head herself is 'quite formidable', it's not surprising the secretary is too! :) Can you try and get to the school at the end of the day to see what the children look like coming out of school? Are they skipping along and chatting excitedly? Do they look like they've had fun? If you can't get along to another open day, that would be the next best thing I reckon.

flubba - Yes, I was thinking about that. I work 4 days a week, so on my "non-working" day next week I can go and do just that. [BTW - Does anyone else who works part time get really irritated when colleagues say "Enjoy your day-off!"? In IME being at home with the kids is anything but... ].

housemum - I did ask if there was any other way I could get a look and the answer was a flat no (apart from the school fair) - hence the robust conversation.

That's a black mark, OP. My mum was a very successful head who had parents fighting to get into her school. She always took time out to meet new prospective parents - even when they had no chance of getting in - and would show them round herself. When I tried to get into dd's school, the head showed me round twice in two years.

You are not pushy just because you are m-c, and want to visit the school your child might be going to - and formidable does not sound great.

However, the school office person might be being officious. I would ring again and specifically ask for a meeting with the head, or for them to call you if that doesn't work. Be unembarrassed about asking for this - it is actually very normal. Sometimes you have to get past the office to get what you want.

At this time of year schools are running out of time to get everything done, writing reports, preparing for school play, next year's admissions etc. Some schools have 1000 families want to look round and apply - they do need to be realistic! I hope you can get in at some stage.

No way would I do a long drive for the school run if I could avoid it, and especially if I then had to get to work on time (as I do!). Add up the hours that you and the child spend sitting in the car - it's a lot of life, and a ot of extra petrol!

We are v happy with our primary, but the fact that it is 5 mins walk away adds to the quality of all our lives immeasurably . So much more relaxed in the mornings, friends are all within a short walk away, loads of people to call on (all reciprocated of course) in an emergency - so many of DS's friend's parents will help out if I have late meetings etc. Also since he has been 8 he has been walking to and from friends on his own, walking to school on his own - great for independence, great for lack of stress. It has been the single biggest factor in us becoming involved with our community and making good friends.

Other parents views are more important than ofsted reports. And when you look at the academic achievement, make sure you check the added-value statistic, and whether all children are making expected / good progress. This tells you more about the education on offer than the raw scores.

dillnameddog - I wasn't impressed either. The head of another nearby school, where we had no hope of getting in because they had 28 siblings, showed me round twice and was extremely polite. (Though only made me gutted as was an excellent school).

It could be that you are trying to look round at the wrong time of year - but it is very difficult to know what the "right time" is for your first child.
It sounds as if all the primary schools in your area are very oversubscribed. Is the 28 siblings for an intake of 30 children and are there any plans for the other nearby school to have a "bulge" class as well? I would check this with the LEA as this could be another option.

Some school secretaries are not helpful, I agree with dillnameddog. Call and ask for the head to give you a call. It is a busy time for schools now but they should be courteous at least. When will your child be starting? Rather than pursuing it now could you wait until the end of September so they've got the start of term out of the way?