Very academic 7 year old - not sure what to do!

[whereishome]

Hi there,

I have a very academic son aged 7 who is getting bored at school. I have met with the Head who assured me they would individually set him work but this has not happened. For example, he knows all his tables and is doing long division with remainders and yet the school is making him learn his x2 and x5 tables. He is now starting to get very disillusioned with school and frustrated. The problem I have is that he started off in a private school and then I home-taught him. I put him back in school as he was bored being with me all the time and does love the social side of school. I am not in a position to pay for him to go to private anymore and am not really sure of the answer. I am going to start looking for a teaching position in a private school and sometimes wonder if he could get in with me. But I was wondering if anyone is in a similar position and whether anyone knows if you can get a substantial scholarship at this age. Obviously, this is not that likely but I just need to explore options as my son said this morning that he feels his learning is just going round and around in circles : (

Can't you see if you could apply for a bursary in a private or find a different state school that will push him?

And yes, where I live scholarships are available from year 3 and bursaries at any age.

Sympathies. We had a similar issue and my eldest son DID get a v g scholarship to a very good private school - but after a huge amount of agonizing, we turned it down in the end. We have four children and felt that we would have to treat them all equally - so even if they all got 50% scholarships, it would compromise family life too much to ensure we could keep them there and make sure that they could go on all of the trips and take advantage of all of the opportunities that the school would present.....

So, what we do is use a tutor outside of school who sets challenging work for him and keeps him interested. We went to see the HM and explained the situation and she assured us that they would do everything to challenge him and help him to reach his potential, just as he would do in the independent school, although she did concede that the school wouldn't have quite as many sporting etc opportunities! The school are good and are setting him work that is supposed to be pushing him, but he still finds it easy. However, he gets a lot more out of being at the same school as his siblings and although he is very bright, he's not as streets ahead in other subjects as he is in maths (he's in all of the top sets, but is with a very bright cohort).

Is it worth investigating bursaries that are available or contacting your local private schools -most of them do have funds available for bright children because it helps with their charitable status/access to local people provisions. I would definitely go and talk to the school again though - if they don't know how easy he's finding it, they can't make it more challenging.

Keep talking to hin at home and give him loads to read on lots of different subjects. He will absorb it like a sponge :)

Thanks so much for your quick replies. Perceptionreality - I will look more into bursaries - don't really know much about the differences between scholarships and bursaries. PanicMode - I so hear you. We also have four children and I know exactly where you are coming from. There is a large part of me that feels it wouldn't be fair to try and put ds in a private school and the other three not. My dh thinks that it is fine as it wouldn't be right not to take a great offer for one and hold him back because it wouldn't be fair. He says this is just making them all lose out. I am not so sure. I passed to go to grammar school and my sister did not and she still feels it. That is another reason why we have decided not to move to a grammar school area - just don't think I could take the pressure of trying to get four children in - and it isn't that likely, perhaps. Will have to have a long think. Thank you for your kind posts - I was a little wary of posting on here saying 'my ds is really clever' etc. He is very bright but will never be a dancer ; ))

Scholarships are awarded on academic merit wheras bursaries are means tested awards given to families who cannot afford the fees. I think that in most cases you need to have an annual income of under £50k.

for the bursary that is. The academic awards can be given whatever your income I think.

whereishome - I feel your pain! Feel free to DM me if you want to chat through some of the issues we agonized over - I think that DH and I ended up on the same page, but as we both went to private school all the way through it was really, really tough to turn our backs on what we knew and trust the state system, which tbh was alien and we did change our minds more than once!! We are in a grammar school area, but we have the fallback of a (currently) very good comprehensive, so I feel very very lucky to be in that position.

May seem a strange question but what kind of area do you live in and is it a v. good school in Ofsted terms? In my very limited experience, I have known of exceptionally bright kids who were bored rigid in the local ofsted outstanding school move to schools in less affluent areas and fare much better - the reason being that those schools were more used to teaching kids at loads of different levels - as they had a higher proportion of kids whose mother tongue wasn't English and kids from a very diverse catchment area socially, the teaching was very individually tailored and often done in ability rather than age-defined sets for certain areas of the curriculum. Therefore it was no big deal to set the exceptionally bright ones v. challenging work as they were used to differentiating anyway......

Is there a reason why he is doing things again? I am currently with a year 1 class, most of whom know their 2x and 5x tables but they practice to get faster, especially when doing tables out of order. Similarly there are children who can work do division mentally and get a bit bored when they are made to do the step by step method- but they need to know how to use the calculation methods one step at a time as they will eventually (whether it is at KS2 or even secondary school) come across problems that they cannot calculate mentally and they will need to be able to apply the methods that they have learned.

I have also seen in Y3 one boy who was exceptionally able in maths, and he went to work with Y4 each day JUST for maths. This worked well as although he was very able he wasn't socially mature enough to be with Y4 all the time. Maybe this is something you could discuss. Do the school agree that he is as able as you believe? If they feel he needs to recover old ground maybe ask why?

Ask the school to talk to you about their gifted and talented policy, they should have one, but how clued up they are when you ask will in itself tell you something. In any school the teachers vary from year to year, and he will have a new teacher soon. Who will he have in September? Ask other parents what that teacher is like.

Our school sends home a mini report to parents at every half term/end of term which has on it the NC level they are on for that subject eg literacy reading 3c. I was a bit at first as I couldn't even get previous school to tell me what level ds was post sats. The school states in it's info that every lesson is differentiated at 5 levels. Now whether in practice it is really I have no idea, but they are very aware of every child and what they need to move on. This is bog standard state primary bordering a rough estate.

So, it is not unreasonable to expect the school to cope with his level. If they are not coping what are they saying the reason is? Ask to meet head again, or class teacher and ask how his needs are being met. Are there other bright kids in the school/ How are they taught?
Hope you make progress

Our DS had out of school tuition once a week from age 7 with homework to keep him interested. He then got a 50% academic scholarship to good private school. Tuition from age 9/10 was focussed on getting into private school. Wouldn't have sent him there without the scholarship. Now at Durham Uni and doing well.

Before rushing to the private sector, are there any local state schools he could move too? It sounds a problem with the individual school IMO.

Our bog standard state primary has a pretty mixed intake, but does stretch the more able children. They currently "set" key stage 2 maths by ability and maturity. DS1 (year 3) is also advanced and is currently with two other year 3 children in the top set of year 4. The school balance ability with maturity, so they wouldn't want them to be with children more than a year older, but it does work amazingly well.

Maybe shop around a bit and see what other schools are available.

My dh got full discount on school fees from the age of 6 (was put into a class full of 8-year olds, mind you) and went through the private sector from age 6 to age 18 on full scholarships/bursaries, so it is obviously possible, if rare. Funnily enough, though, he has two exceptionally bright children who are just like he was as a boy, but has not made even the slightest comment about doing the same to/for them, or paying for the same... is very happy with the local state primary school, which is a short walk from our house. Maybe it offers something he felt he missed out on.... However, it is a good school which has gone out of its way to cater for our children in a community in which we enjoy living and strongly want to be involved. This outweighs all other considerations, so far as I'm concerned. Both school and life in general are about more than maximising your academic potential from the earliest possible age. Later on, scholarships will still be available if your child appears to be heading in a very academic direction, so I wouldn't be panicking about it all, now, you can afford to keep wondering what to do for a few more years... You are not exactly ruining your child's life!

ps If you taught in a private school, wouldn't you get a discount on the fees for your own children???? I thought this was normally the case?

We are in a similar situation but with four children cannot really afford private until at least secondary (and even then it will be a stretch unless helped with scholarships/bursaries).

We have decided after much agonising that we will be getting a tutor for Y3, 2 hours per week. This has never been my ideal scenario, but on balance it is the cheaper option, it keeps the siblings together and it keeps them in the community and close to their friends.

If I was in your shoes I would ascertain that a private school would truly stretch your son - this is not always the case - we looked at private schools in our area and there was only one that convinced me that they would stretch my DD (also very advanced in maths). When I visited the other schools I asked to see the most advanced work for maths and what I saw was very basic, even more basic than what my DD was doing at her bog standard primary. You need to really research it properly.