Reception Class problems

[MustTidyPlayroom]

DS2 (5) is just about to finish reception, we've been aware that he's struggling for some time, but parents evening and report this week has highlighted it even more.

There were lots of positive things, he wants to do well, is a lovely, happy child, like to work hard and play hard, has lots of friends and a great sense of fair play.

However, there was nothing positive accedemically, which being fairly academic myself I have taken out of proportion (whereas DH is being far calmer).

DS has been having NHS speech therapy for about 18 months which we are generally pleased with.

So for the detail, DS recongnises letters and the phonic sounds of letters ( not ch, sh etc) but is still unable to blend together well; he can spell out cat, hat, dog etc but doesn't instantly recognise them and we may as well forget tricky words. His teacher sends home lots of different things to try, but progress is slow.

He is still having problems with number bonds to 5 and his teacher is very concerned that he is going to struggle in year 1.

His teacher says that after the speech thereay input she would have expected a much bigger improvement in his speech and has suggested that we consider private therapy alongside - she has suggested a private therapist that has worked in the school before, who will do an assessment, and this is where I am starting to be more concerned "be able to look for anything else that might be going on".

We've been given lots to work on over summer, but DS doesn't really want to sit down and work, he would rather be bug hunting, riding bikes, getting muddy and I am worried about what we are going to achieve. At the moment he's unaware that there are any problems, but the other children will start to realise soon, so that is another worry to add to the list.

So what i would like to know from parents that have been through this is how to help DS? what games can we play to make it really fun? Have any of you had children that really struggle in reception who manage to catch up?

what games can we play to make it really fun? - this is the wrong approach IME.

If he can't do it because of any of a number of problems (speech, vision, auditory, processing, memory, motor skills......) - then it doesn't matter how fun you make it.

I think it's unlikely he doesn't work because it's not fun - far more likely he doesn't do it because it's too hard / he can't do it.

Instead spend the summer holidays trying to work out why he's struggling. Is it just speech, or is it something else?

Has he been seen by an ed psych at all?

Personally, the best money we've ever spent was on an ed psych assessment of ds1 which produced some interesting results relating to his strengths and weaknesses. It meant we approached the school armed with extra info that they have been able to absorb and as a result they have been able to put strategies into place to try and improve ds1's experience of school (wasn't struggling academically but socially).

We had it done over the Easter of year 1. With hindsight, the teacher at earlier parents evening and in conversation had been sending me covert messages that something might be up, only I hadn't picked up on them. He had an ace reception year though. His moderate difficulties became more noticeable in year 1 and this was related I think to the fact that the adult child ratios in year 1 were much smaller than in year r.

Indigobell - Thank you - Speech therapy is a half an hour a week as part of a group which DS is by far the clearest in (the problem is that many sessions are cancelled and there are often 5 or 6 week gaps) We were quite happy with process until speaking to his teacher yesterday.

She really feels that we need to get his speech sorted to make progress, which is why she suggested the extra sessions with a private therapist.

She also suggested things she would like to see done over the summer - numbers being one of them with the emphasis being fun! It's hard for me as DS1 really wanted to learn at this age and getting him to sit down and work wasn't all that hard - I really need to change my approach for DS2.

His gross motor skills are good, great at PE, a fab little tennis player, but pretty awful at football! Fine motor control is good in general - lego etc, but he finds holding a pencil a little awkward, but nowhere near as hard DS1 did!

Vison and hearing tests have been fine and he can follow quite complex instructions, but when reading, if he reads for example "i can tap, tap, tap" he will have to sound out "tap" each time rather than recognise that it is the same word three times.

I suppose my concern is that the teacher mentioned looking for other things in the assessment and my mind is whirling as to what it could be. I also feel terribly guilty as i in general find DS2 difficult to relate to - maybe because he is so different to me?

Thank you Pooka it is certainly something to think about - Can I ask you how much it costs? At the moment we are looking at £150 for an assessment and £70 a session thereafter!

We have met with his teacher many times and she has always been very positive, i trust her judgement 100% and think she is fantastic. DS is in a very small class of 12 and has had lots of support over the year from her. Yesterday was the first time that she suggested we should maybe more concerned than we have been.

Damn! Just wrote long reply and lost it!

The assessment (including WISC IV) cost £450 in total. The lovely ed psych came to our house and met him, chatted and so on (for ages). Spoke on the phone a few times and by email. She came back again and did test. And then came back with report before it was finalised so we could discuss it all.

I went into it saying that I wanted something like a Haynes manual for him because I just didn't know what made him tick. He is very different to me and to both his siblings in terms of how easily he can be read Iyswim.

The report and chats with the ed psych were so helpful because I feel like I have a better nderstanding of where he's coming from and how he might be feeling. I'm (this sounds awful) nicer to him, more sympathetic, less frustrated by his eeyore tendencies. He seems happier (though has still not really enjoyed year 1 I think because of the teachers - fingers crossed for year 2). The fact that the school know more about him and that we're aware of areas that might be a concern in the future has been incredibly positive.

With ds1, it's possible that he has a moderate social communication disorder or NVLD. The lea's team will be visiting and observing him in the classroom in September. This would not, I think, have happened otherwise such is the financial situation and the fact that ds1 is generally well behaved and is performing well academically.

I have friends who have done similar. One friend had ed psych that confirmed really quite bad dyslexia. Her daughter has made huge progress since then. It's just frustrating and irritating and wrong that schools either don't have the resources or the inclination to assess More widely.

Thru play is the best way!!!

Get gsmes for say 3-5 yrs, fun ones and just do these every day!!

With learning there isnt alot u can do, he sounds like he is doing ok, every child is different..

Maybe look into dyslectic , just a option..

He sounds like a normal 5 year old in all other areas so i wouldnt worry about it to much

Of course, it may be nothing. In which case that's reassuring too!

Thank you again Pooka - I have to go to work now, but will be back later to respond. I've said for a long time that there is something not quite right with DS2 - Nothing major and not easy to put my finger on, but there all the same. DH and DGD have think it's all imagined and that he is being a boy etc, but even my Dad (after my breakdown last night) is offering to do what he can now and contribute to any additional costs which is lovely of him.

The other problem is that DS is at a fairly academic private school, so LEA help will be pretty non-existent, although I do think a child higher up the school spends some time in a state dyslexia unit somewhere.

Really must go now!

Tiny point but with several children learning to read I've had the experiance of them sounding out or reading a word, then not being able to read it easily on the very next page or line.

This might sound simple but I've found it helps if the child is told to look for words that are the same, the same words are highlighted in the same colours etc, in short make it easy for them, sometimes I just think the children are trying so hard they don't let themselves do short-cuts because they think they have to sound out every letter.

With learning numbers - maybe incorporate it into a sport game? We've done Tennis Tots a few times, and the teacher there had some brilliant number-related sports activities - like having large numbers in spots on the ground, and then shouting out a number and they have to run and bounce the ball off the ground on the spot with that number. (you have to keep moving the numbers around so they don't just 'remember' the position)

That way it doesn't feel like work, more like part of the activity he likes?

I agree though with those saying follow up on 'why' the difficulty, could make all the difference.

Lots of great ideas - thank you all.

I have a vague plan forming (it'll be a spreadsheet by tea!)

I am going to ask the teacher to arrange the assessment, preferably before school finishes for summer and see what feedback we get from that.

I am going to arrange an eye test - as far as I know everything is fine and he passed the reception test, but a more detailed test won't do any harm.

I am going to look through your ideas and see what will suit DS.

Depending on the first assessment will consider an appointment with and educational psych.

That will at least get us started!

Get the eye test done at a behaviour optometrist - not an optician.

When's his birthday? He is still quite little, perhaps it is just a question of time as your DH thinks. I don't mean to dismiss your concerns and of course you should seek support if you think that is the best thing, but the words "academic" and "5 year old boy" don't often go hand in hand. Remember they don't start school until 6 or 7 in many countries and there wouldn't be any concerns with a 5 year old not knowing these things. Many times I have heard parents of boys say "well, he didn't really get going until Year 2".....

Tgger - DS is one of the younger ones - May Birthday, but there are still a few children that are younger than him.

I really don't understand how his brain works, he can be kind, caring and sensible then do something that is so incredibly stupid it makes my head spin.

Then with his maths you can see he's really struggling to add things up, but I was just thinking back to a few weeks ago - DS had some smarties and asked if I wanted some, I said yes and he gave me two - We had a bit of a joke about him being mean and he asked how many I wanted, I replied "four please" and he handed over two more smarties without even thinking about it. If I was to ask what two plus two was he would really have to think about it.

Oh well it is a bit late in the day to try and work him out - Tomorrow is a new day and we have nothing planned for once!

Thanks again for your help.

Errr, I think that's called being 5 . You know I haven't a clue what my DS is like at adding up........IMO they are too young to worry about that. He's only just 5...........think some chilling out may be needed....as a comparison, DS was 5 in October, and didn't get given a reading book at school until January so there was no stress on what he could or couldn't do at your son's age. I know theoretically your DS has had the same amount of teaching etc as mine, but those extra months do often make a BIG difference at this age. Have a nice day tomorrow (no spreadsheets!)

I do love a good spreadsheet - maybe I should tidy the playroom instead?

Seriously though I wish I could work out what goes on in his little head - it is a mystery to me.

No, no, no! Make coffee, sit and chill, it's the weekend...says she who will be taking the kids to the woods to give DH a well deserved rest. Mind you they do have a fab cafe. Awwww, he sounds great, much more interesting not knowing.....

Sitting and chilling are two things that I am not good at - a walk in the woods sounds lovely, it's a pity the weather forecast looks dreadful! Oh and DH would like a cake baking for work tomorrow night - I had forgotten about that!

Oh and he is great, he really is - I must say that more often!

No! Don't tell me about the forecast....maybe I will choose the woods with the indoor cafe then.......and had better go get some sleep so I am not completely zombie mother!

Tggr - I need to know if you made it to the woods!? The weather here has been dreadful and we have been stuck in for most of the day, although DS2 did manage a walk with DH and the dogs!

Yep, we made it . I love the woods as do kids. Went at about 10 and had a good walk followed by cafe visit. Came home for lunch. Weather here pretty good really, sun and a few showers, but showers mostly later. We managed not to have to get the waterproofs out of the rucksack. How's the spreadsheet? Hee hee! Glad the boys (well some of them)- got out- how old's your other one?- I have DS 5.8 and DD 3.7.

Sounds better than our day, and it's raining again - marvellous!

We have three boys. 2.9, 5.1 and 7.5.

I need to get homework out of the way this morning and then find something to keep them amused for the rest of the day?

As a SENCO and long term reception teacher I would say don't panic. I'm not sure why a school should encourage parents to pay for private speech therapy with a therapist they know and I wouldn't pay for a private Ed Psych at this point (I'm pretty sure he won't be the only one in the class who can't do everything yet). You do need to identify why he is struggling to blend. I'm working with a little girl with poor speech (just had grommets fitted after being told her hearing was fine ) and she can segment beautifully and can blend if I say the sounds but can't independently because of her speech.
If you say c-a-t can he say cat? d-o-g dog etc If not I would do lots of aural blending before looking at words play around with sounds "can you h-o-p to the sh-o-p" tongue twisters, making up silly sentences, lots of playing with language and of course keeping up learning sounds/letters especially those he's not confident with

mrz - Yes he can, he can also spell cat, mat, dog, log, kit, sit etc if I ask and write them down. What he can't do is read them - Which is where I get so frustrated!

He's had two hearing tests which were fine, never suffers with ear infections and can hear the fridge open if he's at the bottom of the garden!

I really do trust the teacher 100%, we all think she is fantastic, probably the best in the school, she's been working with us all year, but really thinks that DS needs some more help. I've asked her to find out some more info (as the lady isn't working with anyone in the school at the moment) and I'm also going to speak to our NHS SALT and see what she thinks - TBH honest we are just given a worksheet to work through from the SALT and we don't get to chat to her about DS - probably my fault as I have to rush back to school to pick up DS1.