Can I keep my school off school if I have concerns over his treatment

[aj22]

My son has just been diagnosed on monday with severe ADHD, I informed the school on Tuesday of everything and took in the information I had been given. I was informed that my son would not recieve any additional care especially one to one. He is so depressed and although they have been made aware he is still constantly told off and repramanded. Today whilst out he was told off three times for doing something which over 50 other kids were doing but he was the only one told off, then threatened followed by a teaching assistant physically grabbing my son and pulling up backwards. To say I was angry was a understatement. I made a complaint via his class teacher but did not receive a phonecall. Tomorrow I intend to take him in to school but unless there is an appology and safeguards put in place I don't want him in the school. Will I be in trouble if I do this legally? Please help

Excellent response by Tiggytape.
She's absolutely right. Having a diagnosis (which I'm presuming the school won't have had that in writing yet?) doesn't give anyone 1:1 or even 1:6 support.

A diagnosis is medical.
To get help in school, you/they need to follow the Special Educational Needs Code of Practice. That said, the CoP can be put in place without a diagnosis of anything, they are not linked apart fromt the fact it is likely to be the same children. [This may all be different in the future - I've not studied the Green Paper yet, just heard rumours].

Also, having a diagnosis of ADHD, doesn't stop you from being told off. Having ADHD can make it harder work to control temper / not act impulsively / to listen and compute instructions / to not call out / etc., but it doesn't mean you can disregard rules, it just means you have to work harder at it.

If you witnessed an incident that you felt very unhappy about, then you should probably hav gone in and said you needed to speak to the HT or a senior member of staff, and you needed to speak to them before you went home. (Easy for me to say now, I know).
If he has ADHD though, there are going to be incidents over the years, and the best you can do for him is to rationally and calmly talk to the staff about anything that has worried / upset you, and see if it can be resolved. Going in 'demanding' anything, and 'threatening' to take him out of school isn't really going to help anyone, least of all your ds.

You are however welcome to take your child out of school and home educate him if that is what you want to do.

You just tell school that you are home educating your child.

Take the child out of the school.

The official diagnosis was given on monday however the clinical phycologist came with me to school last month for a meeting with the SENCO, class teacher and another member of staff from my ds's year. The purpose was to inform them of his problems and it was ADHD and that it was having serious affects on him, where he only has 2 friends and told he's naughty everyday.
I know he won't get the additional support yet I have phrased that badly, his doctor said he will be legally entitled to extra help as now been put on special educational needs register. When I spoke to the school SENCO they said he will not receive any extra help in the future.
I would of been fine with the telling off if it had not been for the fact that it was just my ds and friend told off not the other 50+ children stood with them, that is victimisation. I informed his teacher who is head of year as this was end of school day, I refrained from saying anything at the time of the grabbing as concern for my ds and all the children surrounding and that took alot of effort.
It has taken just short of 5 years to get this diagnosis and the whole time through this battle I have informed the school of everything keeping them in the loop.
Am I being unreasonable?

Does he have an IEP? Have you spokenm to your senco aout a statement, at least on them it can be noted his difficulties and a 1:1 to calm him down at times. I have threatened to remove my asd son from his school a few times, it is totally legal afaik, I was just persuaded otherwise.

Apologies for the awful spelling, laptop keys sticking!

Tiggytape I did witness this incident and was very upset but managed to stay calm and inform his class teacher who didn't see what had happened she promised to act on it immediately. I don't want to pull him out but feel they are not listening to me or being fair to my ds. He is not allowed to go on his school trip unless I go with him as apparently he could be a health and safety risk, even though they know I have mobility problems.

That is very unfair. My ds has an iep/school action+ but no statement, he has no awareness of danger, has absence spells and is a wanderer, he goes on every school trip, he is just watched more closely, and his litelife backpack used sometimes.
It does sound like the school are secluding him and picking on him :(

Thank you Claire yes had IEP for 2 years, the SENCO has been informed and will not go down any route that job is for the pediatric clinical phycologist, luckily have another appointment next week.

ADHD or not that is no way to treat a child and I would remove him if I where you. I would remove any child from that environment and do not let them use his behaviour as an excuss for treating him in this way.

Thank you everyone for your advice it has been very helpful, I will keep a cool head speak to the school in the morning if not happy then I will not be taking him in, I have work books I can do with him at home.

Thanks tiggytape, this helps will write myself a little list to ask the doctor. He is going to be trialed on medication but in the long term I think moving school is going to be better in the long run, my ds has been asking well begging to move for the last year.

If you think he needs 1:1 you will need to apply for a statement yourself.

They are very hard to get.

Moving schools may or may not help. There are better schools out there, but equally there are lots and lots of identical stories to yours on MN so there must be lots of schools like yours.

Post this again on the SN children board and you'll get lots of very militant advice about applying for a statement.

It's impossible to tell from what you've posted here of he's likely to get one or not, but certainly most kids with ADHD don't have one.

I'm afraid statements do appear very hard to come by.

Request a parental request for a statutory assessment, that is what I have done for my DS. FWIW, the school are trying not to take him but have already said any school trips would only be considered if I was present (thankfully this isn't a massive issue for me)

Is HE a possibility?

What was he actually doing when the TA physically handled him? It seems very unlikely that a member of staff would do this unless they were keeping a child safe. What was the risk that the TA perceived?

Having ADHD means that is going to be more difficult for your son to learn impulse control but he is still going to have to learn it. I think you can expect any school to be understanding about the reasons why your son struggles with impulse control, but not to accept the behaviours that result from it. So I think he will have his behaviour corrected in ANY school you put him in up until the point where he can regulate his own behaviour.

I doubt you will get 1:1 as your DS does not actually sound that severely impaired by his ADHD. Very severely affected children are very isolated and not able to function in a classroom at all. These days it would take that degree of difficulty of get a 1:1.

The trouble is, it sounds like the op's son has been labelled as the naughty child and, even when other kids are displaying the same behaviours, it's her child which is getting disciplined. I see that with my DS - because he does need to be watched more closely, the staff are usually looking at him and because his speech is a little slower, he gets blamed for stuff he just didn't do (often by other kids) . I've also seen people become infuriated with DS over behaviour they possibly wouldn't question in another child, but it's because DS has been told a million more time and it is frustrating (I spend a lot of time working on seeing the bigger picture!)

My DS isn't even in school yet, but I am rapidly coming to the conclusion that classrooms are not the right environments for these children. I will almost certainly HE.

Just my very personal opinion.

I'm sorry to hear what you are going through. And it is totally unacceptable with the way your son is being treated.

I trained as a Teaching Assistand and if a child was suspected of having ADHD or any other special needs, whilst being assessed, I had to support them more in their learning. Once a child has been assessed and diagnosed, then the school should set a meeting in place. If you feel that your son needs that extra support, you are well in your rights to ask for it.

Some schools do not want to pay out extra money to have a teaching assistant giving one to one support nor do they want to use their current teaching assistants for this. Yet it is so wrong. This is how children end up being failed, when there are resources and help out there.

If it is going to help your son having an teaching assistant sit with him in a maths class and help with a subject, seperate from the class or vica versa, then he should get it.

I was a trainee and not getting paid, so the school I worked in took advantage of the fact but I saw some children being unsupported, which was such a shame.

Request a meeting with the head and Senco, take someone with you. before you have the meeting, write down the stuff you want to ask. If the school still insist that he cannot be offered addition support, request the school put this in writing.

I would also recommend you contact Advisory Centre for Education. It is a free number and they can give you proper, legal advice. they are fantastic and have helped me in the past.

Good luck and I Hope you get it sorted out.x

Ime doctors know very little about what actually goes on in the real world schools.

To get them most out of a doctor, you need to find out what is achievable, what the proper procedure is for achieving it, what kind of evidence you need (e.g. for a statement) and then tell the doctor what to write.

Thank you all, at the time he was handled he was standing on the bottom rail of the school wall railings which are inbetween 1-2 inches off the ground. He was being good actually quite in control and calm considering the excitement of the day (speical event they were watching). However just my son was handled not at all appropriate.
Rang the school this morning was informed staff member had been spoken to, told them my ds took a while to calm down yesterdayand how he feels he is being picked on. Advised me that my ds would be able to speak to SENCO today. As he was quite calm this morning I decided to let him go to school but informed the school if he gets worked up through being upset that I want to be contacted.
Still amazed though at raising concerns about the handling that I don't need to know how TA has been dealt with just told the school will not send out a shooting party.
Will discuss statement with his pediatric clinical phycologist next week as they already mentioned statement as a possibility.