has anyone deferred entry to reception (within academic year) against school's advice?

[boristhebold68]

Hi ,
DS 2 is 4 in August and has a place at the local primary to start in Sept 2012. I had hoped that he could start PT or start in Spring or summer term 2013 . Had meeting with HT to discuss these options and was told none of them are possible. He made his views clear - he would not chose to ''deprive his child'' of the learning opportunities available. Appeared to
He said that I could defer but that I would probably lose the place. Thanks to all the advice from mumnetters I am aware that I could write to school and LA and inform them of my decision to defer , but am concerned that this could affect my relationship with the school.
Has anyone done this with their DC ? ie deferred against the school's advice.

I would be very grateful for any experiences of this as part of me wants to do what I think is right for my child ( defer ) on the other hand if I went ahead ad did this and this affected my relationship with the school they could be unsupportive if DS had any problems in the future .

Thanks in advance

We are looking into deferring until January. Not sure they can take the place away?

My county council state this on their website:

My Child is not yet 5 years old and I have been offered a school place, can I defer entry until he/she is 5?
Yes, you can defer the offer of a place until the term in which your child is five, or the following term. However, if you do not take up the reception place by the end of the summer term you will need to re-apply to Schools' Admissions or the school (VA schools) for Year 1 entry.

For example, a child who is five on 31st January 2010 can delay joining the school until May 2010. To ask to delay your child's admission you should talk to the headteacher of the school where you have accepted the place.

Check your council's policy and I'm sure the school can't say no as placing a child is not to do with them but with county.

I can't comment on this exact situation but I have experience of the oppositte.

My daughter is August and was meant to start her part time in September but I felt it was better for her to go full time instead (for reasons I won't go into).

Had meeting with Head Teacher who was dead against it and eventually ended the meeting with something along the lines of if you do this it is against our advise and there will be no going back (ie no reverting to part time if full time doesn't work out).

We went ahead anyway as we were confident in our decision and the important point I am trying to make is that despite the Head's view the actual class teacher fully supported our decision and now it is end of Reception and they have all been full time for ages it is all a bit of a forgotten point anyway.

So my guess would be that even if Head is not supportive for administrative/funding reasons it is entirely plausible that the class teacher would be supportive (and the teacher is the one you will actually deal with you and your child) and will want to help your child settle in to the class.

That's shocking, Boris. What a terrible attitude from the head.

I would imagine that the worst that could happen is that your child's integration into the group could be handled badly - ie they won't bother to address problems, or be that nice to you - which would obviously be a problem. To minimise this, I would start your ds part-time rather than deferring entry, so that he can at least start with the other children when they are new.

My dd started in the January. The school was very flexible about her going part-time but she was the only one in the class to do so. Starting late was a problem because the unimpressive teacher put her in the remedial group 'because she is summer-born and started late' which dd hated (she was top group from Y1 onwards). Leaving at lunchtime didn't seem to be a big issue.

yes tiggytape - that's it in a nutshell! My initial feeling was that I would go ahead and defer and that as you say Spatsky it would all be forgotten once the child started school and that anyway the individual teachers are the ones we would be dealing with. However after meeting with the HT I came away feeling that they could actually make life difficult for me. Its definitely a one -size- fits all type of school and I know DS2 reception teacher whilst experienced can't understand why I'm making a fuss about this. as HT obviously mentioned the meeting to her and she told me that DS would be absolutely fine. I know that he will enjoy it just not sure that he needs 30 hours a week of it.

Tiggy tape , do you think it would be possible to start FT ( hoping that it all works out ok with odd duvet days )but if not and I decide is too much and HT still not willing to do PT , then I could still exercise my right to defer ??

Boris - We have just asked the exact question of our soon to be reception teacher, DD1 is the youngest possible age for reception. We were told the decision is ours, legally we can keep her out until we want as long as she starts before the summer term 2013. They start fulltime from day 2, they have met DD1 and have offered mornings only until Feb half term or deferring until Feb half term when she will be 4.5. They would like her to come in once a week for a morning if we defer so she is not thrown into a totally new situation with other settled children.

We were advised by nursery that they cannot withdraw our place or force her to start before we feel she is ready. It is our choice and our decision, they will support our requests as much as we need them to. If we defer she will stay in nursery until then.

Forgot to say we are writing to the head and the board of governors and cc-ing the LA. Our school is an academy so it may be slightly different.

We deferred our late summer born child for a term, so started in January having missed the long winter term and stayed at Pre-School 5 mornings a week.

We didn't receive any resistance as I informed the school that was what we were doing, I wasn't looking for their permission or advice rather notifying them of our plans if that makes sense?

I would investigate when the place has to be taken up before it lapses as we were told that it had to be taken up by February half-term before it would be offered to a child on the waiting list.

Right decision for our child go with your instinct

Why not just start him and see how he gets on? I'm sure the parents worry more than the child

Sorry, was distracted by DD! DD is in reception (December born) but has children who have July/August birthdays in her class. They've all bonded really well and mix brilliantly. One of the most immature students is an October born girl - but they've all taken her under their wing. I don't see the big fuss, but am prepared to accept that it's because DD is a winter child.

(DS in year 2 also has a mix of children in his year and no problems though)

Sorry Tiggytape - is it correct that I have the right to go PT? I thought that was just the '' right to request'' part?

With regard to coming to an agreement , during my meeting with HT when I asked what would happen if DS started FT and I felt it was too much ,HT told me that as long as the teachers felt DS was doing ok then that was the only thing that mattered. If DS was tired I would need to make sure that he went to bed on time .( This was the level of our conversation- it was like a school version of ''The Office " and HT was David Brent.) DS is v well behaved ( at nursery anyway) and I explained that he would never cause any trouble at school but I may notice problems at home . He stated quite clearly that if the teachers were happy with DS then that was all that mattered and that the only way of going PT later on would be if teacher decided that there was a problem, not me as the parent.

So as you can see I feel I have fairly limited scope for further discussion with HT. The only other thing that I did consider was sthg that you suggested to another OP tiggytape - letting HT know that I am aware of right to defer without need for school's approval and then using that as a way of getting him to agree to PT.
Do you think that would seem too much like blackmail given his views - ( but then again does this matter if I get what I want?)
It just feels that I am the first person ever to request this and whilst I know this to be untrue thanks to mumsnet - I think in my area this is possibly so , even though it's a big school , 3 form entry. Think I need to live in different part of the world!

Bluberry boy - your school sounds fantastic . It also seems that they know the position legally.mornings until Feb sounds perfect and also they obviously want to make sure she is fully integrated even if does defer . am v envious!

Pretty sure the school can't deny you the right to have your child in P/T education as long as they're under 5. Legal requirement for full time education doesn't apply til the term after their fifth birthday - so the school should co-operate with your child's needs. Had a friend with DS with b'day at the end of August - he did the usual summer slow start, a fortnight of full time and then just mornings for the rest of Year R as wasn't coping. That way he was still with his peer group but not put off school for life. In Year 2 now & loving it.

yellow flypineapple-
forgot to ask - did you know of anyone else who had deferred ? that is part of my problem , noone else as far as I know has done this at this school

I am in the same boat, my dd's birthday is 31 August! I am trying to decide what to do - I have been told that the school officially frowns upon starting part time but I have also been told by a supportive teacher that it is my right not to send her fulltime. I share your concerns that it may set up an awkward relationship with the school but hopefully that will be forgotten as time goes on. It is terrible of them to say that it doesn't matter how your child is at home, my eldest (who is a March baby) struggled as well, not during school hours where she was good as gold but was awful at home, so bad that it affected our weekends and everything. My plan is to try mornings only for 2 weeks and play it by ear, extend as necessary. I haven't actually told her teacher as we haven't found out yet who she is having. I think you shouldn't be bullied by the school into doing something you are not comfortable with - you know your child best.

Boris - nobody else did it when we did it at our school. It does feel like you are swimming against the tide in some respects and some people had the "but they learn to cope so why delay approach?" I kept thinking yes but DC is too young at just turned 4 and anyway my child my decision.

I think many people don't want to rock the boat or make their child different, if that makes sense. I did get rather fed up with the "But won't it effect their friendship groups comments?" I countered it with well if we moved house and went to a new school DC would have to make new friends and I think DC quite enjoyed being the 'new child' in her class.

I also have huge regret that oldest child who is also summer born started a couple of years earlier than no.2 and was not ready at all. No. 3 is middle of the year but I would have no hesitation in delaying if I think appropriate when the time comes.

Do find out from LEA when the place needs to be taken up before it is offered to next person on the list, knowledge is power and all that!

Good luck.

I deferred dd's entry until Easter, the HT wasn't exactly thrilled but she knew that it was coming as dd had only attended nursery in the foundation unit very part time.
She did quote the case of a child previously who had supposedly been behind as a result but that wasn't a concern for me tbh as dd was doing a home based intervention programme (she has autism) and I knew that she was benefiting more from being at home than she was in school.
Dd has a statement and so attendance arrangements were made with the LA rather than the school tbh as they were funding her support.Dd attended up to five mornings a week up until Easter.
It was undoubtedly the right thing to do for dd, her friendships didn't suffer (her peers thought she was a nursery child and so it was normal for them for her to leave before lunch) and rather than being behind dd left EYFS the most able in her year.

It's your decision. Just say thanks very much for their input. You understand that your child might very well cope now but actually you feel it will be in the best interests of your child, and of yourself, to have more time at home with him. You can say that you are happy to have him attend school part time for one/two terms, but if the school feels that this will create more problems than not being there at all then you will defer until January/Easter. That is, you are not asking permission, you are being accommodating and you are asking them which of two options they feel will be suit them. If the Headteacher is worried that you are depriving your child of an education (at four????) say that you understand and appreciate his concerns but actually you believe you can provide a very good and pro education home environment for your child and that you will be learning basic phonics etc at home to ensure your child is not behind when the starts. You can say that if the school is concerned your child will be behind then you would happily cover what the class is doing in the first two terms...
It is no problem at all for the school. Except perhaps for money. If they are worried about money it will be better for them to get you in part time, and they might suggest this if they see you are intent on deferring. If they agree to part time please get it in writing as your HT sounds a bit of an arse.

Biggerthanwas- I think your assessment of HT entirely correct. however I think that reception teacher also has similar views. But you're right ,if I can put it in writing and HT realises degree of intent then it is possible he would agree to PT as lesser of the two evils.
PT is definitely my preferred option. Am not sure at the moment whether I would rather defer or send in Sept and take days off as needed..

YFP - although you were the only ones who did it in your school presumably the HT did not have strong feelings or did you just ignore them? also what about LA - if they were telling you dates then it sounds like they were allowing deferral or did you have to overrule them aswell?

when I read MN responses it seems like the correct thing to do - go with my instinct and push for what I think is the best option ie PT- however when I
am at school surrounded by other parents who have augustborn boys - all apparently '' fine'' , I tend to think why choose to have this battle - feeling very stretched as it is etc etc

Because DS2 quite likes ''academic stuff'' / reading/ numbers letters and is quite able according to his nursery teacher ( who is very understanding and thinks he will be ok ) am not so worried about school putting him off learning , is more a stamina issue.

sophbod - agree that is quite bizarre that they have no interest in how the child is at home.and it totally dominates family life/ weekends as you have said. has your teacher agreed to PT?

Boris - the reception teacher suggested we ask for deferral and the say but if you can accommodate our DD part time until XX term then that would be fine too. we gave very silly part time options basically the same hours she is at nursery - 15hrs per week. So by giving them the option it gave them a chance to come up with a solution - they have come back with whatever you think is right, which made DH and I go

do you think DD will mind being the only one staying in nursery with all new children coming in? i am assuming that if I did defer that school would not accommodate Ds in nursery so that is something else I need to look into

that was meant for you bluberry sorry!

I don't think she will, she tends to stick with the slightly younger ones in the 3-4 class and our nursery have said they will happily keep her until she starts.