Worth changing to prep school for just 1 - 2 years?

[annabach]

We are lucky to have the option of sending our DS to prep school for 1 - 2 years starting next Sep. The alternative is for him to stay in his present school. We have delayed making the decision for several months, and have to give a final confirmation this week - but are still completely undecided, so I'd really appreciate some advice! (Money is not an issue, as the place would be paid for. And we know we'd only be able to send him for 1 -2 years because after that we'd be moving country).

His present school is lovely and friendly, but very big (there will be four Year 2 classes next year), and quite chaotic. He's happy there and has lots of friends, but academically would definitely benefit from structure and clear expectations (he has a tendency to mess around otherwise). The prep school is much smaller, has more space and facilities, offers loads of sports and activities, and has a system of really following through each child. My gut instinct says the prep school would benefit him more, but my DH feels that it's too disruptive to move him for just 1 - 2 years.

Does anyone have any thoughts/experience on whether a move for just 1- 2 years can be worthwhile, and how long it typically takes to settle a 6/7 year old child in a new school? The other children would also all be new at the prep school as Year 2 is the entry year, so he wouldn't be the only one - but then again, at that age, would the benefits be too marginal to be worth risking unsettling a happy confident child? The one other factor is that our DD will be starting Reception, so we'd have the logistics of two school runs to consider.

Anyway, sorry for longwinded post, and I know ours is a lucky problem to have, but would really appreciate any words of wisdom this week before we give our final confirmation one way or the other!

What kind of school are you thinking he will be attending in 1/2 years time, OP?

I wouldn't. For a child that age it's difficult to see that the (potential) benefits of the prep school would outweigh the major con of introducing another school move when you don't need to. I personally would address the issue of him "messing about" with his current school (and you may find a change of teacher and year group helps anyway) and supplement with out of school sports if you would like to. Also what about your younger child? Why wouldn't you consider moving them too?

DS joined a prep in year 7. There were 3 other new boys in a class year group of 17 & he was made to feel incredibly welcome. To be honest I was told this was the best year 7s the school had produced & they all really did look after each other. It was the right choice given DS was leaving primary anyway, but the school also had pupils start in other year groups & I never heard any parents complaining.

Consider why you are moving your child. Is he happy where he is? Do you have any complaints? Class sizes can be irrelevant because I went to a faith primary where we had up to 36.. In fact I'm sure one year we had 38 in a class. There were no TAs back then & we were known as the most academic state school in the town. If he's only likely to be staying at a new school for a year, it may be more disruptive to chop & change? What's DS' personality - could he cope with such changes? Only you know this

Good luck OP

Thanks everyone. The prep school only starts from Year 2 so we couldn't also send our DD there. Our son has made a relatively slow start at school academically (he needed extra help with pen control, letter formation and blending words). He seems to be catching up now, but it's definitely made me more sensitive to his educational needs - if he had been breezing along from the start, I probably would not have looked at the prep school in the first place. He's otherwise bright and loves learning about things like history and science, but needs a lot of encouragement and structure to knuckle down and get on with his reading and writing. His teacher and I have been trying together to get him to do this, but the wider school is quite chaotic and doesn't really reinforce good behaviour. He's an outgoing boy and tends to make friends easily, but it would still be a bit of a leap into the unknown taking him to a new school (what if the new teacher were too tough on him?!). Hard having children - they do cause a lot of worry. . ..

His current school sounds very good, he is happy and has lots of friends. I totally agree with you DH. It would be too disruptive from him.
I was moved several times during primary and I think it wasn't beneficial.

I would leave him where he is and look carefully at schools when you move.

We moved our dd1 in year 1 due to the schools failure to support her. I was concerned about moving her for only 1 1.2 years (as the school we send her too didnt take girls past year 3 but it was the best decision we ever made. I would do it if you feel the school is better for your child.

I think if he was older, say year 4 or so and you were unsure that his school was meeting his needs I might move him but at Year 2 I don't think it's worth it. When's his birthday? He is still very young. Remember if he was in Sweden he would be going into Reception rather than Year 2 next year and wouldn't have been expected to read or write anything so far!

Yes, thank goodness for the Nordic countries, and the Waldorf system! Definitely consoles when having a child that's reading slower than everyone else's. Our son is a March birthday, so bang in the middle. The one factor about continuity in DS's present school is that it will be all change for Year 2 - they'll all be put into new classes and only carry a few of their friends with them. They'll see the rest at breaktime but not in the classroom. I suppose a part of me also wants to grab the prep school opportunity while it fleetingly passes, because down the line we don't know what sort of schools will be available. But if Years 2 and 3 aren't that critical from a learning point of view, then perhaps the disruption isn't worth it.

I would consider it in Y7 if you wanted him to prepare for 13 + entry to a private school. A lot of boys are likely to be in the same position. I wouldn't move him for Y5 though with a view to him going to secondary at 11. Not worth the disruption of moving him from a school where he's happy.

I moved DS1 (who is autistic and resistant to change!) to a new school in Y2 because his old school was failing him. He had few problems changing school and was made to feel very welcome. Despite moving to a school with only 15 children in his year, and of those only 4 boys, he has found a firm friend. I think at that age your DS should be fine changing schools.

I would say trust your gut instincts, only you know your son and what would be best but IME Yr 2 is a full on year where lots of new concepts etc are introduced so don't make the decision on the basis that some years are less important than others

If you don't know what school your DS will go to later on, and he is happy in his present school, better leave him there.

No school is perfect, the change might be more disruptive than beneficial.
Also, prep school might suit some of his needs better and he might adapt quickly, but then leaving again might be more difficult.

Agree with jubilee to leave him where he is happy, but look carefully at possible next schools.

Yes, think you have to go with your instincts in the end. Just seems you and DH have slightly different ones! Year 3 is a bit more crucial than Y2 perhaps. From what I hear from my sister (in Sweden) they do very little re the academic stuff at least in reading and writing until this year and then it's full speed ahead (Y3 is called Y1 in Sweden). For example they start learning to read in Y3, but are reading chapter books by the end of the first term, which is probably what we would expect of our Y3s at this point? Swedish is a lot easier to learn to read than English though .
Kids are very flexible though and if your DS was a bit behind (in terms of your expectations) at the end of Y3 and then went somewhere else excellent he would catch up pretty quick in the right hands.

Just as an anecdote, my personal experience. I have taught in both state and prep schools (a musical instrument not a subject). Just from this experience I saw a real difference in standard of writing from Y3 pupils. Christmas cards etc. Some of the less good writing was from very bright pupils at an excellent state school. I'm sure they catch up, and perhaps they excelled at different things etc etc..., but it stays in my mind and I will be watching DS closely at this age.

I think your decision needs to be based solely on where you are moving to afterwards, and what standard your DS will need to be at when you transfer. There's a world of difference between (for example) Hong Kong and Sweden in terms of expectations of academic learning by 8 years old.

thanks everyone. lots of food for thought. DH and I will have another chat tonight.