DS in Reception class under increasing pressure to learn letter sounds

[acrunchieandacupoftea]

What should I say to my son's teacher who is putting him under increasing pressure to learn letter sounds?

She says they're now teaching him letter sounds three times a day.

He often says he doesn't like school and doesn't want to go.

He is about to turn 5. I don't remember ever saying that, I used to like school. I feel really sad he is under so much pressure and it makes me feel really stressed about it, rather than just being able to introduce letters naturally in a relaxed environment.

He reacts strongly when I start trying to teach him letters at home, he doesn't want to know. Apparently he wont look at the letters at school and bites his fingers.

(I work full time but hardly want to send him to a school where he is learning to hate school and teaching)

Have the school investigated why he isn't learning letter sounds ?

I think you need to tell them what you've put here.

But I think you need to ask why? Is it that he knows below "average" letter sounds, or is it being done as a class? If he's struggling, it's great they've noticed and are trying to bring him up to the standard they want. But maybe they need to think about how they're doing it.

I'd change from asking/teaching to playing games. Which colour matches which first letter sound (smartie for matching the colour), make up snap/pairs games with letters and a matching object that need to get the first letter (eg a, and apple) Can he match say Thomas (if he likes that) trains with the right letter.

Perhaps suggest they back off for the rest of term, and you try over the holidays with games etc.

The teacher is saying they're trying to bring him up to the standard they want.
She said maybe it's dylexia?
Those games sound good. :) Thanks.

Sometimes if I print something out for him or write in thick marker pen he copies it as if he is writing bubble writing!

As though he only sees the shapes but doesn't really recognise them.
He is much better at drawing animals and insects than recognising letters.

Sounds like the school is panicking at the end of the year. Presumably they have been teaching letter sound correspondances since September and perhaps have only just cottoned on to the fact that your DS has not been picking it up. Now we are at the end of the year.

I think you need to investigate further and suggest to the school that the method they have been using to date is not working for your son and what alternatives can they suggest.

also try thinking about the letters...my daughter couldn't "see" black on white well...she's good on yellow background though, and pink is ok too...maybe have an experiment. you can buy see through plastic pockets (useful for school projects later!). She can and does read everything now (age 10)

snap games are good, also is he interested in books.?..phonics can be overworked and can get boring, If he's not dyslexic but just bored then looking at "reading for meaning" might help . this is fuelled by the child's interest (motorbikes, baking, dance......) and reading simple words associated with their interest then building in link words (the, and, but etc.)...this works..it's amazing but true that children learn to read elephant easily but have trouble with the...it's because the is boring but elephant is interesting!!

Have the school told you what he knows and what they expect him to know?

They want him to recognise letters of the alphabet, to read them and write them.

Some other children are writing about what they did at the weekend
(prty = party etc. so they're just looking for normal reception age attempts at writing) so I guess we're aiming at writing letters /making good guesses.
I often get "birthday cards" from him but the letters all look like Wwwwww :)

Maybe you need to have a meeting with your ds's teacher and ask them what you ds knows, what they are expecting him to know and what they are considering is causing the difference between these two things.

I think I'd chew my fingers if someone was trying to get me to do something that I couldn't 3 times a day without wondering why I couldn't do it.

What extra help have the school been giving him when it must have been obvious for months that he wasn't coping? Before the panic '3 times a day' that has suddenly happened. How are they teaching him? What alternatives have they tried?
If he doesn't know all his initial sounds, and basic blends such as ai ee oo oa ue ch the sh and ng, then he really is very much below the average expectation for a child at the end of reception and is going to continue to struggle in Y1.
He needs to find it fun and interesting to do, or he'll continue to make no attempt to learn them, he's still very young and the majority if not all of his education should be fun and exciting.

Obviously he is not interested in the phonics lessons or it is not really going in, some is, and i try to teach him at home, I have lots of fun things at home that we can play with - both letter sounds and common words - he knows some but not all letters. But he says his teacher doesn't know that he knows.
Maybe he doesn't show what he does know at school. But I have always known he doesn't perform well under pressure. I just didn't know they'd be demanding he writes letters for them like a performing monkey. If he is 'writing a letter to granny' he gets excited about it... oh Grrr I will have to arrange a meeting with the teacher. I just hope she listens.

Please tell the teacher how unhappy this extra pressure is making him. I'm a teacher, although in Nursery, and one very valuable lesson I have learnt since moving to Foundation Stage is that children learn when they are ready. Some children really struggle with letters and sounds and he does sound like he needs some additional support but 3 times a day sounds too much. Not being able to do something is a horrible feeling for an adult let alone a child and being made to do the thing you can't do 3 times a day must be very frustrating. Does he enjoy learning outside? Lots of boys in our nursery do so we find fun ways to learn without making it look like learning, for example could he do some treasure hunts for hidden letters and say the sound when he finds it, throw a ball to targets on the wall with a letter in, chalk writing on the floor? All children get there in the end and at their own pace. Some do need a bit of extra help and every child has their own talents which isn't always letters and sounds, writing or maths and in my opinion that's a good thing

Do your school divide up the children by ability for phonics? Ours are differentiated by ability across 4 year groups (plus higher up the school. After morning break they all go to a different allocated group, dd2 for example is in a mixed yr R, 1 and 2 group. Dd1 is just in yr2 group. It doesn't sound as if it is for a long time ?20 min, but it does mean that all the children get appropriate teaching without one teacher having to encourage some who are a few years ahead while helping others to catch up. There then might be less pressure on him to keep up. Your son is only in that class because he was born a few months earlier, another couple of months and he would not yet have started.

There are a few children in yr 2 who are stuggling (according to dd1), and they do have additional support at other times in the day. Most of them (including dd1) found yr1 was when reading began to click for them. It does sound as if the teachers have identified his lack of progress, but they need to be told that they are putting him off. Clearly there may be a specific issue such as dyslexia but it is probably too early to tell.

What does he know?

My y1 ds left reception knowing all single letter sounds plus ch, th, sh, ng, oo, ea, ee which was behind as it didn't cover all of the phase 4 letters and sounds but he learned most of the missing ones in y1.I would investigate the physical causes like eyesight but it may be that he is not developmentally ready and that he may switch onto reading at a later date and can catch up with his classmates.
My older son left y1 below national average but left y2 above average.
My younger son left reception below average and is leaving y1 at national average. He is more enthusiastic about reading himself and voluntarily writes about once a week now.
In the case of my sons I honestly believe that there is an age thing going on.

Search for mrz's fine motor skill exercises and practice those over the summer in preparation for y1. I'd lay off the pressure and join the library reading scheme and only do writing/reading by stealth so things like using a water pistol to write his name etc.

Poor child. Maybe the summer holiday will do him some good. There are quite a few lovely songs on the Internet which match letters to their sounds.

Sounds like they are piling on the pressure because of the year 1 phonics screening check which he will take this time next year. They probably think that if he is not at the required level by end of reception then he will struggle to be at the required level for the screening check in yr 1.

To put your mind at ease my ds was exactly the same in reception. He is now in year 1 and the transformation in him has been amazing. He is also a summer born June birthday. He left reception behind in everything academic reading, writing, numeracy got 3s and 4s in the eyfs profile but was deemed ahead in things like the emotional stuff and gross motor skills getting 7s and 8s. He did not get phonics at all and kept forgetting them and could not word blend at all. Needless to say we were worried but decided to wait to see what year 1 had in store. Like I say the transformation has been amazing and I am very proud of him. He has worked his socks off this year and has finished the year exactly where he should be (I think). Is now reading ort stage 6 books with ease (was on stage 1 in sept) can count to 100 and beyond in 1s, 2s 5s and 10s and is now doing 3s. This is boy who could not or would not count beyond 20 this time last year could not order numbers even to 10 last year. The only thing I think he will still be deemed below average in is writing. He is not a keen writer although even in this he has gone from only being able to write his name (4 letters) to writing sentences, most of his letters are correctly formed although there is not much in the way of content yet but I think this will come in time. With him it was definately a maturity thing and he has taken off when he was ready to do so. Hope this helps.

Sarah

PS further to my post above about DD who had trouble seeing black on white my DS2 could not be persuaded to do phonics at all and left reception without actually having held a pencil. He is 9 now and has a reading age of 12-14...so don't panic. Explore the options and see what excites him...

hope the school are sympathetic

audioboo.fm/boos/656822-schoolification-of-children-criticised a radio four bite that might encourage you.

I don't think you need to panic, but nor do I think you should just assume it is going to 'come right.' He is young and if just not interested and so not trying, well then he needs time. But if he has tried and is not getting it, then of course he won't be interested but needs help now iyswim?

If the school has suggested dyslexia then I'm actually quite impressed. Many won't even consider it til the age of 7 - fine for those who do come right but disastrous for the real dyslexics who by then have their confidence in shreds.

Please talk to the school. If they truly believe him to (possibly) be dyslexic then this should be investigated and he will need specialist strategies to help him learn to link letter shapes/sounds. It won't be helpful for them to just to do more and more of the same with him (and v. demoralising).

He is still super resistant to talking about letters and letter sounds, it really causes him a lot of anxiety so I am giving him a bit of a break from it.

What amazes me is that he has completely regressed!

Whereas previously he has wanted to write letters/notes/labels and has copied my letters, or written over my lightly sketched letters or copied from another piece of paper he is now completely unable to do so.

I did find getting HIM to point to words in the story book (once a week or so) for me to sound them out was quite a good compromise so I didn't make him feel 'stressed' and still got him to look at the words a little.
Is it possible that he has really regressed, I'm certain he was better at (and happier about) the letters (of the alphabet) this time last year!

It sounds more like he's totally lost confidence than that he's regressed. He's unlikely to have unlearned the stuff he did know. He probably needs a break, then a gentle reintroduction without pressure, with it being made really, really fun, and with loads and loads of positive reinforcement. It's possible that the teacher is transmitting their anxiety to him, and this is making matters worse.
You could try something like Reading Eggs or Letterland - something fun. Make it a game. But give him a complete break first.

Just noticed his age, by the way. He's very young in his year, isn't he - not much older than my 4-year-old dd who (were she going to school) would only be going into reception in Sept (she'd be very old in her year). I wonder if that's a factor? Poor little boy though. Obviously the teaching staff are acting with the best of intentions, but it sounds as though they've stressed him about it to the point where he won't even try in case he gets it wrong. It may not even be that they've done that much to get that result either, to be honest - my 7yo ds used to completely, utterly shut down if he got one thing slightly wrong. Even now, if he finds something hard in his maths workbook, he can seemingly temporarily regress to the point of not being able to add 3 and 2.

Can he recognise his name? Or other words? He may just have difficulties with phonics. There are children for whom phonics doesn't help.
I remember phonics clicking with me at about age 6 in year 2. I was nearly at the end of book 2 of the Lord of the Rings trilogy. I remember looking at a name I didn't recognise and suddenly thinking "that letter mean that sound etc." I still struggle to spell phonetically. I would have completely failed the phonics test despite what I was reading through choice at home.

I think if I'd been forced to spend 3 times a day doing phonics that I didn't understand I'd have been biting my fingernails and probably the teacher's ones too. I would probably have hated reading too, rather than loving it.

I'd leave it for the first bit of the summer holidays now. Say in the last fortnight see if you can do some games (with rewards).
For writing could you see if, say, his dgp would be prepared to help. They could receive a letter asking for something (eg football stickers) then he gets the stickers back and needs to write a thank you letter.

Have you thought about try a free trial of Reading Eggs? It is online and game based with animated characters etc. My son enjoys doing it and just thinks he is playing a computer game but he is learning basic sounds. I managed to find enough codes to get 70 days free.