Should I be doing more?

[jubilee10]

Ds3 is coming to the end of P1 and I have been really happy with his first year at school. He settled in so well and has lots of friends. He loves his teacher. He is reading at green level with no difficulty and reads more difficult books at home. He is good at spelling and, although I feel his handwriting could be neater, he uses punctuation and forms all his letters correctly. In his report it says that in reading, writing and Maths he is consistently performing at the expected standard for his stage and sometimes beyond.

So, here's the problem. For reading writing and Maths it says "is achieving success but has the potential to achieve more". I feel a bit down hearted about this. I work full time and whilst we read every day and do any homework he is given I don't really do anything extra with him. We do bake, play shops, make lists etc. but should I be doing more. What is stopping him reaching his potential.

I have an appointment with his teacher next week and wonder what I should ask her.

Hi jubilee10

Gosh that statement - "is achieving success but has the potential to achieve more" stings a bit, especially for a busy working Mum (or possibly busy working parents).

You work - possibly because it's necessary to pay the bills - so my feeling is this - if the teacher says that your DS needs to improve with maths consider joining an on-line tutorial, downloading some free games to help build skills (like multiplication tables) or buy some workbooks.

-if the teacher says his reading needs more work - then try to build in some reading out loud time each day. You'd be amazed what 10 minutes a day can do - even in the car before dropping off to school (we also do quite a bit whilst waiting for older sister at ballet lessons + I treat DD2 to a nice snack at the coffee shop whilst we're waiting).

I see this is DS3 - so the other thing to absorb is you've got 2 other children and they've turned out alright as well, I'd imagine. So if you're happy with how the other two have worked out so far, my feeling is give yourself a break. Support your DS where you can - but you can't be all things to all people, especially if work is full on or stressful at the moment.

Finally - see it as an awkward compliment - what the teacher is saying is that she or he sees potential in your son. That is a good thing!

HTH

Thank you PastSellByDate I'm feeling a bit better about it tonight and trying to read more into the positive aspects of the report (and there are lots of positives). I think you hit the nail on the head. Work is very stressful at the moment and I feel guilty that I do so many hours but don't have the choice to work less.

Yes, the older two are fine but are quite a bit older and I worked night shift when they were small so had more time to spend with them - although not always quality time - I was sooooo tired!

We read for 30 mins each night (he reads to me and I read to him) but that's about it. I will ask the teacher what she advises and go from there.

Thanks again

Hi Jubilee10

Just saw your response and wanted to send you a nice virtual cup of tea and tell you to hang in there.

Reading a half hour a night is fabulous - and more than many parents do!

Blimey! I never managed to read 1/2 hour a night with any of mine!

I too would read that as "You've got a bright boy there. We all need to make sure he doesn't 'cruise' but learns that by putting the effort in he will be able to achieve more/better/greater things" It's a message for the following class teachers, IMO, not telling you to do anymore at all.

Thank you, I am sitting drinking my cup of tea now! We read for 30 mins because that's our "special time" together, without his brothers. We have done that since I went back to work when he was 8 months. It's our only time together (alone) during the week although I devote a large part of the weekend to him.

I actually feel better about things now. I think it just wasn't what I was expecting and was having a stressy night anyway.

I have arranged to take next week off work to recover!

Are you sure that she is meaning that she wants you to do more with him at home (sounds as if you are already doing lots) or that he doesn't fully apply himself in school and he would be further on if he didn't sit and chat with his mate as much? That is an entirely different issue. Go with an open mind to the meeting, realistically it sounds as if you don't have loads of time to do more (unless your older dc would sit with him by computer doing maths etc), but it may be more to do with his attitude in school than what you do at home.

I also think it means she wants him to do more in school. He may be doing enough to get by but not his best.

I read it as a compliment, that he is conststently meeting standards but shows potential for being pushed a bit beyond.
Reading is just about the most important thing at this stage and you are doing it, so all good!
Dont overthink it.

Sometimes people are not good at writing reviews. I would go to the teacher and ask nicely what she means and maybe give examples?aybe she means to say 'us doing well and therefore if he continues this way, will do well?'