Home dinners

[Hettie3]

Hi
My daughter starts school in September and for a whole variety of reasons I would like her to have a home dinner. I was surprised to find that the school did not offer an option on the form I have to fill in requesting sandwiches or school dinners for home dinner. I have never heard of a school not offering home dinners (I've worked as a teacher in several although haven't worked for a few years now as I gave up when she was young). I mentioned it at the induction evening to a teaching assistant and she said oh no it's all part of the routine they go for lunch together then play. I didn't get chance to take it up with anyone else - I was a bit knocked for six to be honest. I will be contacting the school but just wondered what other people have found? I really don't think they can stop me taking her out at lunch time. Morning and afternoon sessions are quite separate and are marked in the registers and lunchtime requires a separate registration so I am not sure how they cna require her to stay. I guess they feel it might be better for them to be on site for various reasons (but professionally as well as personal I don't understand them - I haven't found children have social issues when they go home for lunch from my classes).

Hettie x

Sounds weird! Never heard of a school not offering home dinners.

I've taught for 12 years in several different schools and have honestly never known a child go home for their lunch.

I have no idea whether this is because they have not been allowed or just so few people want to do that that I've never come across it. In my head the image of kids going home for their lunch is a bit old fashioned, post-war esque! That might just be me.

Do you not think lunch play is the highlight of most kids' days? At least beyond YR when most of the day is more formal learning.

Gosh we have very different experiences as I have 10 years experience (and my term was as a supply teacher in several) and have never taught in a school where a few don't go home for lunch!

I'm surprised you think it is old fashioned and even if it is old-fashioned I don't mind! We're possibly quite old-fashioned in a number of ways and my daughter is extremely content - I don't mind sticking my neck out for values we believe in, whilst making sure we all fit into society as it is. Nothing wrong with that. I'm not saying that this will be a permanent thing but there are several reasons (medical) why it would be better initially for her to be at home. Whilst i am teaching her to be independent (and in many ways she is) I still think it is for the best and so does she.

For many children it is probably the highlight of their days which is why we will work towards her having that in time, but I think in the meantime it is more pressing that she is well and able to go to school and I think home dinners is the right thing for her.

Hettie

I thought home dinners were a thing of the past! Never heard of it around here.

If she's the only one doing it, won't she feel horribly left out when all the others get to play?

I wonder if this is a geographical thing? What region are you in Hettie?

Or maybe it's rural v urban? All the school's I've taught in have been inner city, are you rural?

BTW I think you should be able to take your DD home if that's what you both want- I was just expressing my surprise that it is something that still happens.

In the last ten plus years here I've only had children go home for lunch if they are going on to a dental appointment or a ballet exam, or something like that. But if it is what you feel is best for your child and there are sound reasons (medical?) for her missing that social part of school stick to your guns. I suggest you email or phone the school and explain that you would like your child to come home for lunch and ask is it OK to write that on the form instead of ticking school dinners / packed lunches box. I can't imagine the school would have a problem with it; its more a case of they are used to parents who want their children to stay at school all day. My last school arranged school dinners for our part time nursery children as their parents wanted them at school as long as possible before child minders collected them.

I guess im rural and its quite common. My son is mix of school dinners, packed lunches and school dinners, just depends how he feels every morning.

No I don't think she will feel left out at all. She only goes to nursery 3 mornings a week but slots in fine with children who are there full time 5 days a week. She will get to play at other break times and at home! I'm open minded though like I have said before - if in the future she chooses to stay I will find a way to make that work for her.

I'm rural and I've never heard of it! Even when I was at primary 15-20 years ago no one went home.

I think it would be nice to have dd home for lunch when she starts school

Definitely more for me than her though

NW of England and I have taught in mostly inner town or inner city schools!

It is still an option as we took dd1 out on her first day back after summer holidays. It was dd2 first half day in reception and we wanted to go out to celebrate, in the same way we had when dd1 started. We took her at 12 and returned her at 1 after a lovely meal out. Her TA had been so surprised when she told her she wasn't going to be there that she came to find me to check! The school said that as long as she is back by afternoon registration, there is nothing wrong with taking them out. I haven't done it again, but might keep them out for a picnic after olympic flame as they don't need to be back until1.

I'm quite suprised it's such a huge thing!

Of course they can't make her stay at school. As you say, the morning and afternoon sessions are completely separate. My ds came home for all of reception and yr 1 (mostly because of his special diet and I couldn't trust him not to accept food from other children).
Your dc will still get morning (and prob in KS1 afternoon) playtime for the social side. Some children hate the unstructured and noisy environment of a school playground, including some very young children and those with asd.
Downsides would be if it's more than a few minutes journey you can be in a bit of a rush and it not be that enjoyable, especially if the lunch hour is less than an hour; equally you cannot take her back before the bell for afternoon session if you did need to be somewhere else; and of course it will cut your day in half every day.
Maybe try it for a bit but also ask her if she would like to try staying at school some days and coming home on others?

When I did my teaching practices in Birmingham, lots of the children went home for lunch. In one school, it was about half. That was more of a cultural thing than a region thing, I think.

I always wanted my mum to take me home for lunch, especially as she worked in my school and went home herself! She wouldn't let me though. She said I'd miss my friends too much. I think, more likely, she liked the peace and quiet!

Have you heard of this though? In the secondary school I work in, one family who run a Chinese restaurant sometimes send in hot freshly cooked food for their son at 1pm which the receptionist has to deliver to the respective child, finding him wherever he is when the bell goes! I think it's a right cheek (and embarrassing for the child?) but the receptionist seems to find it amusing!

Veritythebrave - I see why you thought that because it does look ambiguous! No coming home for lunch cooked by me as you realise. Where did you check it out that legally it is an option? I really struggled to find info on it so thanks for that.

KitKatGirl1 - a lot of it for me is to do with special diets too. She is pretty trustworthy...but....

School is two mins walk away and the dinner hour is 1 hour 10 mins

Oh, that sounds perfect then, especially as you can walk it (I had to drive - next village along) and she will get some fresh air. I would definitely do it until you're happy with her staying at school or she asks to.

A few children at my ds's school do go out once a week to go to the village 'lunch club' for the old folks with their grandparents. I can't think of anything more sociable than that!

Thanks! Yes I think it is a bit bizarre about the boy receiving his restaurant meal! Wonder what the lad makes of it?

At our school the Head will make it as difficult as possible for parents to take their kids home for lunch. She will tell them that it will make it impossible for the children to form solid friendships, etc.

However, I think it would be hugely beneficial especially for the younger children to have a little break at home. Also, in reception/year 1 there is really not that much friendship building during lunch IMO. Actually going home together with a friend for lunch maybe far more beneficial!
School won't like it though! Also, schools like kids to have hot school dinner, ours makes quite a bit of money on it.

Thanks for your input! I want my daughter to have a hot dinner too - but there is no way they would be able to adapt it all for the multiple issues she has! So the best way she can have a hot meal is to come home!! I'm surprised they make a profit - it doesn't seem right that they should somehow
!

We have brought DS home for lunch a couple of times. The school secretary wasn't too thrilled by the idea, but the head was cool about it.

Tbh, a school lunch hour is pretty short, so it was quite stressful for us. It was a legitimate way for us to have a bit of a 'treat'!

Yes it is hassle for the secretary as they have to ring across or go themselves to retrieve said child, and on their return they need to reunite them with their class. We also had to sign her out and back in again. A few minutes late and you do risk her being marked late, so more unauthorised absence, and EWOs looking into it. Having said that as long as you get everything ready before you collect her, they will soon get into a routine, hopefully, of bringing her to the office for you. I've also found that returning them around lunchtime (from Dr etc) can take a while as staff might be on their lunch break.

My children had dietary requirements, happily grown out of, and they took packed lunches but then we always have a hot lunch in evening. The school were good, they have a strict no nut policy, and for less severe reactions (e.g. To a fruit) they will also ask that class not to have that fruit. They also strictly prohibit, and monitor swopping food. Mine weren't too bad by the time they started, but I know when they were v little it was stressful when out trying to find dairy and soy free stufff, and making sure no one gave them things by mistake. Do make sure that you discuss with the school the dietary issues too, as food does crop into lesson time - making cakes, sweets at home time on birthdays etc. If they are complex needs the school may be pleased that the responsibility has been removed from them.

I don't think the secretary's thought process had got as far as logistics! It was off her radar, so she didn't immediately say yes!

I think my point is, TAs and secretaries respond with the knowledge of their experience, and home dinners are fairly rare these days. I'm sure the head will listen to any calm and reasonable request. As Duracell says, it does remove some responsibility from the school!