My 8 year old is getting picked on for sitting in the back seat.

[savoycabbage]

I don't really want her sitting on the front, because it's safer. I have tried to explain that to her but she is just so sad.

I live in Australia where you don't have to be in any sort of car seat at all after you are 7 so none of her friends are in a carseat and they are in the front. She is in a high backed booster in the back.

I feel torn. I don't know if I should loosen up and let her in the front or let her have no car seat. Or not.

The issue with children is that the seatbelts don't fit right if they are small. The booster seat manufacturers did a wonderful sell on how the only fix for this is a booster - hence the law. But you can buy things that will adjust the seatbelt to be much safer, so maybe you could compromise on no booster but use a seatbelt adjuster in the back seat. I think if you have an airbag front seat isn't any more dangerous than back seat as long as your child isn't too far forward.

Sometimes children need to be told straight or see for themselves what happens if they don't follow rules / guide lines.

Maybe you could show her a video of a crash test dummy car smash or tell her what could happen after a crash.

I have 2 red headed dc who have fair skin and dislike putting on sun block. For my dd we told her why she needed it on in order to prevent possible skin cancer. For ds we had to show him what a skin cancer looked like. They both still get fed up with sunblock but at least they don't try and get out of putting it on.

Shock tactics may seem a bit harsh but sometimes a moderated visual or explanation is needed. Only you can tell whether it would work for your child.

would a booster seat without the high back be sufficient? Would be much less obvious to her classmates

I didn't know that about the seatbelt adjusters so I will look into that, thanks.

I did spout some (probably inaccurate) statics at her when she told me because I wanted her to know that I was doing it because I thought it was the safest place for her to be and not because I don't want her turning down my Calamity Jane CD.

We have got an airbag. It might be one of those that you can turn off though.

Do you have to drive at speed or are you mostly in slow city traffic?

No I don't either.

Obviously you have the child,s safety at heart and of course that is the most important thing in the world not some kids being "grown up". However my 8 year old would die if I put him in a car seat. Again depends how tall he is etc.I do not see why could not sit in front either.

i know its horrid, but if she was 2.5 and having a strop for being in a car seat you'd make her suck it up wouldnt you?

You need to be careful with the seatbelt adjusters. A lot of them will take the seatbelt down from the neck which is good, but ignore the lap part of the belt. In adults this rests across the legs and hips - we are told about it in pregnancy, to be sure it is across the hips but not the abdomen. In children because their legs are smaller than ours if they are not sat on a booster the lap belt tends to go across their abdomen. This is dangerous because it is very soft and in a crash if there is considerable force put on this area it can cause internal injuries, which can be severe depending on the severity of the crash. So for this reason I would always insist on at least a booster of the seat variety, even if you decide to lose the high back now.

There is this which is from the US which although it has excellent seats and laws regarding younger babies, carseats are mandatory for a stupidly short time - but it's a useful guide which explains the factors which are involved in whether your child is ready to use the adult belt alone yet or not.
www.carseat.org/Boosters/630.pdf

I am mainly going to just be going to school and back. I have told her to suck it up in the moment but now I have started wondering if I am being over the top about it.

Could you set out on a project to research it together? Look at some crash test videos, read some articles, find out which parts of the booster do what and the figures for riding in the front vs the back? Then agree that she gets to help make the decision at the end once you've looked at all the evidence together.

Unless of course you think it would put the fear of god into her

One thing I found was that the less restraint you have, the more important it is for them to sit up straight without slouching or leaning - maybe that could be some leverage.

She is quite fearful generally so that might be just the thing

My son is a very tall 9 year old and he still sits in a high back car seat in the back of the car because it is the safest thing for him and he has not outgrown it. I see so many children coming to school sitting in the front and cannot understand why. I couldn't give a toss what anyone else says, I am his parent and I know what is best for him and if his friends think he looks like a pratt because his mum is keeping him safe then so be it. As you can tell I feel very passionate about this. Also never trust 'turning off' an airbag, after all they are only an electric operation and this can and has failed with fatal consequences.

I'll climb off my soapbox now.

I guess my DCs sit in the front, because like long term rear facing this is another preoccupation that is relatively recent.

Yes rear facing baby seats and air bags did't mix and we all knew that the back was safer, but most of us with 10+ DCs settled for a quiet life.

I suspect plenty of families with mixed ages still do.

Once DD1 was a high school DD2 has always come in the front. My hearings grotty and the school run is the only time she's likely to tell me about her day.

My DC sit in the front because they do and I do not give it a second thought. We have an oldest in front priority and youngest loves it when his turn when he on his own. I would hate the distance and talking him to him through the mirror. That said I do not know of any stats etc on the safety of kids in front/back arguement but I sat in front as child before seat belt law and eh I am still here.

I think I have always just thought of being in the front as less safe and being without a carseat as less safe so this is what I have always done.

I am going to do some research and talk to her about it too.

I am running two 7 yr olds and one 8 year old to football tonight. They will all be on booster seats. They do not meet the height requirement yet. End of. They all know it's the rule in my car whether that's what they do in their parents' cars or not.

"Just because other parents make foolish choices doesn't mean I have to" is my mantra.
I would keep the booster because of seat belt fit, but consider front seat, fine to say no. Maybe a booster without back might seem alright, your call.

Like most others I wouldn't even dream of ditching the car seat so young, but may consider a compromise on the front seat.

I find it scary the amount of children who are obviously in the age where they should be in a booster at least who aren't.

Basic laws of physics mean that any vehicle occupant has the greatest risk of injury when the initial point of impact is closest to them. Over 50 % of accidents are head on collisions meaning that the front seat occupants are at greatest risk. The safest place in a car is the middle of the rear seat (second row in a mini-van). Seat belts MUST fit correctly to be safe- thus the requirment for booster seats for people who are under 4 feet 9 inches tall. Front air bags can be very dangerous for shorter people- not only do they not protect, they can seriously harm. They shoot out with huge force (broke all the fingers in my Mum's hand!) and if they hit in the wrong place (head for example) can cause great damage. That's why a lot of cars have automatic disabling of air bags in the front seat unless the seat occupant is a certain weight.
Honestly, I'm shocked anyone would allow a child under 12 to sit in the front seat! And forget about slowly driving around town- most accidents happen within a 5 mile radius of home and airbags deploy when you are travelling 25 mph or more (that's below what most of us drive around town).
Cars are the single greatest risk to our children. We don't allow kids to walk alone to school any more because of the risk of abduction. In fact, they are much, much, much more likely to be killed in a car. OP hold your ground!

My DD is 10y and is tall enough for no car seat; she's not much shorter than I am. Day to day she doesn't use a car seat now and she does go in the front seat; but that's really only been in the last year despite being tall enough before. Even now for long journeys DD will choose to use a high back booster as she finds it more comfortable, esp when laying back - and the car seat is less likely to cut into her neck.

Now I am 5 foot and I know this is an issue. I have sat in the back of many cars and even at 5 foot (above the height limit) the seat belt hits your neck in an uncomfortable position - any smaller this is likely to be the same tbh.

Until the last year or so then it really wasn't important to me what DD felt over the matter if I am honest. I'm her mum, she is the child. It is FAR safer for her to be in a car seat and so she went in one. If she had made a fuss about it then I would have probably put my foot down even more tbh!

Safest seat in a car is the back middle.
Most dangerous seat is the passenger seat.

Harleyband - DD is 10y and reasonably tall. I do let her sit in the front seat if it is just me and her. However, the car seat goes right back. For motorway journeys I prefer her in the back though.