Opinions please......

[Mobly]

I'm posting this out of curiosity more than anything.

Someone I know, who is training to be an early years teacher, made a comment about 2 5yr old boys who attend her school. She said that they only play with each other and no-one else. She said, in order to encourage them to make friends with others she was pushing to get them split up next school year into different classes.

Personally, I think this is cruel, quite pointless, and there are better ways of encouraging wider friendship groups. I think it could be quite damaging to a child's confidence. If this were one of my children I would be quite angry at the teacher. She thinks all children are resilient and that it would be good for them.

What do you think?

I think she is right. My DD had a very intense friendship around that age. It was very exclusive of other people.
The best thing that happened was her and B being put into separate classes. They could still play together at break and after school but not during lessons.

I think she's wrong, I'd be looking at adding extra children into their pairing in structured games and activities and letting them use their friendship as a foundation for that, and moving the pairings about in a variety of activities.
Happy and confident children are more resilient,

DC's school routinely does this (splits up children who are "very" close friends).

AFAIK it's never caused any problems - the children still have opportunities to play together during breaks/lunchtime and they definitely get to know others by virtue of (e.g.) having to choose someone in their class as a partner.

Both my DC have made new friends - children who they'd barely noticed the previous year, because of being split up in this way.

I've also seen it work well where there is a pair of children where one really overshadows the other - gives the quieter child a chance to come into their own.

Putting friends in different classes isn't cruel: it's not as if you were sending them off to different continents and banning them from ever communicating again. They can still play together at break time and meet after school. But it may help them to concentrate on their work rather than the friendships during lessons.

Well said all those who agree with me .
I also had it the other way when DD was around 9. One girl joined the school and, as both she and DD were the only only children in the class, other girl decided she had a monopoly on my DD.
OG, would growl and bite people who tried to play with mine. I asked that they should be separated in the next year.
If that makes me PFB - so be it.

My dd's school is currently encouraging other friendships for the rather exclusive relationship that she has with another girl. I'm am quite happy with this and am strongly encouraging her to play with other children and if I had the option then I would request different classses next year but it is a single form entry.

My dd is 5 and I really feel that it is important that she plays with a range of children and not just one.

It depends on the situation - and I hope she wouldn't always take this view no matter what the details - but children this age can develop unhealthy dependent relationships with each other which stifle their ability to form wider friendships. Better for them to have adults step in and deal with it at 5 rather then let them continue with this behaviour pattern.

That doesn't mean that all cases of close friendship are a bad thing, and if it's helping one or both children to feel confident and gradually develop their relationship skills then that's fine. But hopefully she and the other teachers involved can tell the difference and she doesn't just have a blanket belief that it will be "good for them".

Interesting. See, I think people are naturally going to get on with certain people over others and I don't see the need to engineer their social situations. Unless of course it's an unhealthy relationship.

I think if the school normally shakes up classes each year, then ensuring that the 2 boys end up in different classes is fine. The children will simply accept it as something which happens.

If the school are taking extra-special steps in order to break up this friendship, so the children will be aware they are having special treatment, then it seems like overkill on the part of the school.

Personally, I think children have plenty of time to play together at lunch and breaks (and when mixing in whole year activities), I don't see why they should have to be in the same class.