reception teachers home visit hell

[whatinthewhatnow]

Hello, I think I'm looking for a bit of reassurance really. I just had my ds's 2 reception teachers to my house to meet him and us. He is usually pretty well behaved with the occasional bit of naughtiness like any 4 year old. When they arrived he decided to act appallingly - hitting me in the face and shouting about wanting to watch ben and holly. it was, without a doubt, the most mortifying moment of my life. I took him into another room,spoke to him and he came back and said sorry and then engaged ok with them. will he be judged forever? will I? He goes to a private preschool and they tell me his behaviour is always really good and I suppose I don't want him labelled as naughty. Am I being bonkers? My sister is a teacher and tried to make me feel better by saying they would have been impressed by the way I handled it, but I'm almost certain she was just trying to be nice.

I think your Sis is right.
All 4 yos play up, but they will be impressed at how you handled it and how your DS behaved after you'd spoken to him.
Sounds like you've got a discipline style that works for both of you.
Am envious

I'll reply as soon as I stop my daughter from climbing on my face and pushing her sister over! I'm guessing the two teachers were grown ups. They'll have seen it all before. Sounds like you handled it fine. They'll have learned that your son can be reasoned with. That's useful. Some children can't be reasoned with.

I wouldnt worry.just thing how it could have gone
did you shout .... nope
did you call him a little "fucker" or similar........nope
did you find it funny and encourage him in his playing up and thus show you have no boundaries......nope
did you give him a bottle of coke/or other parenting crime....nope

you did however get him to say sorry and behave afterwards. If you're worried about them judging your parenting you needn't be. It sounds like you handled your 4 yr olds nervous attention seeking very well

I agree with your sister - ok he acted badly, but you dealt with it in a reasonable way and managed to get him to apologise. They'll remember him, but that's not a bad thing. I think most teachers prefer children with a little spirit - makes them more interesting :)

I suppose the gods of motherhood were smiling on me a bit in that he did calm down quickly and said sorry this time, it could have very easily gone the other way. My husband says I should just get over it and anyone expecting a 4 year old to immediately behave well when 2 strangers turn up, interrupt ben & holly and start asking him questions needs their head examined, and he might have a point. thanks so much for replying, it's made me feel much better.

The way some parents treat their children when they're playing up makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up. You're many, many miles away from having a real problem here.

A long time ago now, but when the teachers came to visit my ds2 at hime she refused ti speak and hinted like a goose for fifteen minutes. Every time they asked her a question she just said "HONK" really loudly! I was mortified! They didn't hold it against her though and it didn't actually blight her life! Teachers would never make that snap a judgement of a 4 yr old!

Sorry, honked like a goose, not hinted! Rubbish auto correct!

Look on the bright side - he didn't hit his teachers in the face.

Omg, muppet, that is just hilarious!

you have to have reception teachers visits?!!??!!???

They all do home visits in my area-school is a partnership and they start early.
I wouldn't worry about the visit-you managed fine.

As a former Reception teacher- this happens a lot and you dealt with it all very well by the sounds of it. Sometimes children freak out a bit when they know two stange teachers are coming to meet them to talk about them/mum/dad about going to school. You encounter all sorts on home visits-don't be worried- he won't be labelled as naughty at all.

I am a reception teacher and agree with your sister - we know children often act up when there are visitors, especially if they know the visitors are directly interested in them, and I would have been impressed that you were able to get your son to calm down, apologise and behave, and that he was mature enough to do so. Please don't worry about it! You showed some good parenting skills :)

thank you all. muppet that is hilarious, and yes, at least he didn't land one on the teachers. Trinity yes they do a home visit if the child isn't at their nursery.

I am also a teacher who agrees with your sister.

I was once inspected by X during the day, and then turned up to my son's carol concert to find X sitting in front of us. She bent down to say hello to my daughter who promptly snarled at her and hit her several times on the arm.

X said "Don't do that, I haven't written your mother's report yet"

I suspect this is perfectly normal. I hope it is, anyway. I'm sure they won't be labeling your DS, and your sister is quite right.

At our home visits;

DS1 threw all his soft toys down the stairs, then climbed out of the living room window and ran down the drive.

At DS2's home visit the teacher said "You are much more relaxed than you were before DS1 started school" I wanted to say "Yes, because this child isn't behaving like a little shit monkey", but I just smiled lamely.

DD played up a little, just to test us all. Her teacher asked he if she would like to be known by her proper name, or her nn (we only ever used her nn). She chose her proper name, as she thought it sounded funny, not realising this was actually her name. She has been known at school by her proper name ever since.

My colleague tells of a home school visit she made where the toddler climbed onto the glass table top to get to his Mum's cigarettes, which he promptly started to eat whilst Mum ignored him and continued to watch Jeremy Kyle on tv!

Of the Jeremy Kyle mum I'd say fair enough. She has to know what kind of questions he'll be asking her when she's in his studio.

Totally normal, do not panic, we have seen children react in all kinds of ways.

We freak our new parents out by telling them we will judge them on the quality of cakes and biscuits offered to us. Nowt to do with the children .

Your husband is exactly right.

It's not a bad thing your DS acted up when they were there as they have seen that you have boundaries with him, identify naughty behaviour and are able to rectify it with him resulting in an apologetic child who then behaves.

I was definitely judged I on the quality of my cakes, my mugs (they were impressed by my Emma Bridgewater crockery) and, I later discovered my many heaving bookshelves (lucky they were far away not to realise that the majority the literature I own consists of never read self help manuals ordered from amazon in moments of despair.)

On our home visit, we were living 'between houses' and the only furniture (in the tiniest house you can possibly imagine) was a table, 4 chairs, and upstairs two mattresses for the children and a futon for us. Few boxes of toys, suitcase of clothes, nothing else in the place....

I did try to explain, but I do wonder whether the teacher and TA left DD an extra box of crayons because they really DID have one spare, or whether they took one look at the extreme bareness of her environment and took pity on her!