DD doesn't want to start primary school - help needed

[froggydoo]

DD2 is due to start primary in August , she will be 5.

She knows the school well ( her big sis is there) and we are doing all the transition activities. She also knows several kids in her class for next year.

But she does not want to go - has been in tears about it at his avo. The problem, I think, is fear about the work she will be made to do, rather than any social aspects. She simply hates organised activities - colouring, drawing , board games, jigsaws, stickering - she doesn't like ANY of these AT ALL. She's the type of kid who is happiest wandering around an overgrown garden picking up bugs and twigs.

I have great confidence in the school and I'm sure it will all turn out alright - but how do I convince her of that? I think she is really quite scared.

Any advice gratefully received!

Mine was scared too. I would back right off and even do less transition stuff. It's a long way off still and maybe you can reassure her that others will feel the same and teachers will understand, but not place too much stress on it? In my experience boosting her confidence other ways and helping her be secure will make school less of a worry in the distance. It's often adults that make it all such a big thing at this point and not always helpful!

My youngest didn't want to go to school - though quite happily went to nursery in the room next door and his older brother was there. We couldn't do any of the transition days unless I sat with him the whole time on my knee.

Speak to the teacher as this is very common and at our school in the mornings they had teaching assistants ready to help with the ones expected to find it all a bit difficult. In the end, he was perfectly fine when it came to the day.

If you have another transition day, could you ask the teacher to explain more about the free time they have when they choose what they want to do?

It is very hard seeing them upset, so you have my sympathies.

I would back off - talking about 'big' school is scary and builds it up I to something it isn't. I would speak to the teacher.

My Ds is the same. I am dreading it. If I didn't have to work I would keep him at home.

My DS and I (at thier age) felt the same - and as you say, it was not the social side it was the work - my DS got dragged in almost every day until Christmas and then has been 100% fine going in since. (yr 1 now)
He was the same in nursery - cried when I left him every day from 4 months old (two days a week) - oh he used to cry when I picked him up too lol - he was having so much fun.
I was sort of honest to my son and explained that he may not like it, but he had to learn things, he would be glad when he did and if he didn't go I would go to jail. We both have our Sunday moans together and we sort of make it into a joke.
I used to talk a lot about what we were doing after school - and treats if he has been good in school at the beginning. As he got more friends we would talk about them before school and as he started to get his fav. lessons I would highlight them (mainly dancing - think I have a billy elliott lol). I agree with other posts that you don't need to talk about it a lot - children live far more in the now that us adults do, so if they are not gonig today/this week - then I think it can be left - you have done some transition which is fab.

His reception teacher used to say that a lot of it was show for me, as soon as I went round the corner he would just get on with his day.
I was very lucky - My Mum worked at the school and she could check - and he was just fine. (still moans every day about it until he gets there - but I would much rather chill and have fun than work too lol).

I kept my dd in nursery because of concerns about the one we were allocated. She was very young so I just didn't talk about school at all - as far as she was concerned, she wasn't old enough for school. When a place finally came up, it was very sudden - she had to start two days later. I was sooo worried about it, but actually it worked really well. Many friends said they thought the lengthy transition procedure had made their kids feel anxious over the summer. So, I would agree with all those who have advised backing off. Just do not mention school at all to her, and be very matter of fact if she expresses any concerns.