DS-Don't know what to do for the best re pre-school

[Inedit]

DS is 4.5
He has been fulltime at wonderful private nursery since I went back to work when he was 3.
He loves it, he is very outgoing, very social, lots of friends and I believe he gets a lot out of it.

Recently my contract ended, didn't want to take DS out of nursery, wanted the structure and routine, before he goes to school, also he would lose the place if I got another contract.

So he has been doing 9-5ish, but I have been taking him out to do fun things (swimming/ theatre/ visit to grandmas etc.)

I am torn between taking the opportunity of this flexibility to spend more time with him before he goes to school, and keeping him in a routine in preparation for school. However the break in the routine actually seems to be upsetting him

He now seems to have developed a major separation anxiety. He is begging me to pick him up early, and most days cries and cries to leave me. It's just when I drop him off, once I have gone he is absolutely fine.
But he is sobbing,and saying that he will miss me. Clinging on to me.
I don't think it is because he wants to do nice things, he would be happy to stay at home. He wants to sleep in my bed, the other night he insisted on coming to the loo with me.

We were on holiday in Feb, took him a while to get back to the routine, we were just getting there, and last week we went to mums and now he is completely up in the air again.

I was going to give it a week to settle down, but now I am thinking I should seriously look at him just doing mornings

But then I think he is going to school in Sept, should I just keep him in nursery for the routine

And then I'm thinking, sod it, it's only a couple of months, make the most of the time with him

But I honestly think the more time he spends with me, the worse this separation anxiety gets and I need to address it before he goes to school

HELP please

I have talked to the nursery, and they say it's a tough time for the pre-schoolers, they understandably get a bit apprehensive about school, big changes etc.

DS is going for an induction to his new school on Sat. He seems to be really happy and enthusiastic about going

Oh, and if he does just do mornings, I do feel like he would be missing out, they do lots of afternoon visits out, and tbh I'm good at finding places to go, and afternoons out, but not very good at sit down, crafty, arty, learning through play stuff. I'm not very organised

And what if the job of a lifetime comes through?

I suspect it is the chopping and changing element that he is finding difficult. It must be confusing not knowing when you are going to pre-school or whether mum might pick you up early on a whim.

I'd suggest maybe keeping him in pre-school for a couple of days a week (but defined days e.g. Monday and Tuesday) or taking him out altogether. He may well be clingy when he starts school, but school is a whole new change and he may well react differently (and you will be talking about it to him in advance). How much notice do you have to give the nursery - assuming it is a month, that doesn't leave much time for your dream job to materialise when he has no nursery place. And tbh I doubt that a nursery will be filling a place in July/August (which are always light months when lot of parents take children out) so you could probably send him straight back if you needed to.

i don't think taking him out completely is an option
he is so active, I honestly don't think I could keep up! And I can't do anything when he's at home.

I don't really take him out on a whim, it's usually an organised event, which he knows about well in advance, e.g theatre

I think I should forget the dream job, the market is probably going to be quiet for the Summer

I'd echo the it's a difficult time for preschoolers.

DD was in a priavte nursery 3 days a week and stayed until end August.

It was a very unsettling time as children start to leave from about now - alot of people go away last chance before tied to school holidays and don't reappear. More will leave when funding stops mid July. Must be very unsettling to see children leaving each week, mums crying etc. Very different to a school nursery where everyone leaves on the last day of term.

Nursery also stopped alot of the extra activities they offered like dancing as they were term time only. Staff are away on holidays aswell so keyworker may be away.

DD seemed to spend the summer a too big fish in too small a pond.

If i hadn't had to work I'd have made the most of our last few months together in all honesty and had her with me at home.

The only pro of DD in nursery was she was in a routine - and had no problems settling into school or coping with the school day (no tiredness).

Funding stops mid July?
didn't know that

I'm getting really emotional now, I have no idea what to do for the best
I'm not normally this pfb, but i don't want to get it wrong

I'm thinking that 5 mornings might be best for him
that way he still has routine and then half the time with me

You get 15 hours a week funded for 38? weeks a year (same as a school year)

Most children leave pre school 20ish of July when the schools finish for summer.

oh, I think they have averaged ours out, I think I remember that calculation
Will check though, thanks
TBH it's within the budget for him to go full time, so it's not really an issue

I wouldn't pull him out completely, if you reduce his sessions make sure he always goes and you don't just take him out the odd day here or there.

My DS had been going to the same pre-school since he was 2 and other than the 1st 2 weeks he never cried until the very last term. He literally gripped onto me screaming every morning, it was awful but was absolutely fine within a few minutes and fine when I picked him up. He was fine from day 1 at school.

There were one or two others that acted the same, it is really common when they know they are starting school, especially for the really switched on ones who fully understand what will be happening.

DS2 is much more chilled out and is a bit oblivious to the whole going to school thing!

I agree with you re 5 mornings, I think that is definitely the best way as it will also ensure he is used to being away from you every day.