Quirky 4 yr old son

[peppajay]

I had my son's transfer appointment from pre school to school today. His keyworker describes him as 'quirky, happy and different'!!! He will be going to the same school as his sister so he knows it well but she thinks he may have difficulty settling in as he likes to be his own person and not one of the crowd!! There are some emotional difficulties with him ie- he will not go the toilet anywhere else but home, he will only drink out of a cup, and he thrives on routine so these things do sway towards Aspergers but not enough in pre school's eyes to warrant getting help for. I as parent and the staff at pre school say that as a child he is so happy and compliant that he is very very easy to parent, or care for. But if something goes wrong ie routine is broken, or he has to have a wee somewhere else he gets hugely distressed. He is definitely different to other children but he has chosen to be like this and he is such a joker and loves life. He just doesn't fit the mould of a typical 4 yr old boy.

I just don't know how is quirkiness and wanting to be different is going to fit in at school. I don't want to change him as he is a lovely boy but want him to fit in at school and not be an outcast which I am scared he will be, however if he was it wouldn't worry him.

Could this be Aspergers or do I just have a 'quirky different child'?

My DS1 is just like that. I really worried about him starting school (esp as we moved house 100 miles away at the same time). He was in fact given special one-to-one care at his preschool to help him with socialisation, and getting used to changes in routine (used to be a huge, huge problem). He will still only drink out of a certain cup of glass, he won't eat toast if his brother has made it, he thrives on routine too and if he doesn't want to do something there is nothing anyone can do to persuade him, he is very, very determined. He's his own little person too, and in many ways a little 'old man'. When he started school he was teased / bullied a little bit for being different. The worst was when his supposed best friend pulled his trousers down for a dare. But that stopped and he seems to be accepted in his class for being a bit different, very clever, and his own character. He has two very close friends (one of which was the trouser-puller). He is very, very loyal to his friends, he isn't a crowd pleaser at all. He loves school now (he's eight). Hope this helps? Don't try to change your little boy, be proud of his different-ness. I have no idea if he might have Aspergers or not though.

PS Do talk to his class teacher about your worries so they can keep an eye on things. It is worth keeping them aware.