Starting school nursery for half a term then reception, but not ready for school..any ideas?

[birdseed]

DS1, shy, summer born.
Told by our day nursery (where does 3 sessions/week) not to send to catchment primary as wouldn't manage in class of 55+ (double size class) and it was pretty uninspiring when we visited anyway. Failed appeal for next nearest single class entry primary. So arranged to send to private school for reception, but no induction period offered and expected to do 5 x 7 h days right from start, so decided to send mornings only at nursery for 2nd half of summer term to give him a chance to get used to it.

So due to start in a couple of weeks, but just don't see how he will manage 5 full days in September, as he just doesn't seem ready socially and emotionally. It is also more formal than play based for reception compared to state schools. Am tempted to not send him, but it would burn our bridges with this private school, and we think that it would be a good school for him in the long run (and no private alternatives locally). DH says just send and see how gets on, but I don't want to push him through something he isn't ready for. I could keep him home for reception, but think that it would then be difficult for him starting school at a later stage with the other children mostly older and all there longer. There just isn't a culture of part time or delayed school starts for reception in our area.

Help....!
Any suggestions would be much appreciated.

I would just give it a whirl. He may well be absolutely fine! My son is 45 strong intake, split into small classes. It's fine.

DS1 (August bday) went from 3 days at
Nursery to full time school three weeks after he turned 4. He was very tired at first and didn't do much 'academic' stuff for the first term, it was more about learning to cope with school routines, get changed for PE and being part of a class.

His school is private with 18 in each reception class. The benefit of private was that they were happy to allow children to progress at their own speed, so the younger children had more play and less work. We also arranged for him to do some half days when he was really tired. By the start of yr one he'd fully caught up.

Have an open mind. They change a lot in 6 months and Reception hopefully is Reception whatever school they are at, private or not, they should follow the Early Years stuff- apologies for lack of jargon .

I think if I was you I would see how he gets on at the nursery and also have a conversation with the Reception teacher and ask around (nursery parents with older siblings etc) re their attitude towards the young ones in the year and how they meet their needs/ how they get on. I would judge by a combination of these things whether to go ahead and send your son in September or not.

If there are no obvious good alternatives I would give it a whizz though, he may surprise you. Perhaps you have different ideas of what is expected of him in Reception compared with what is the case- worth checking out. And if you feel you can support him and the teacher will too maybe this will help you relax about it?

I'd send him as planned as she how he does.

If he is still not ready socially and emotionally then the school may be willing to work with you and have him start reception later.

Are there any children out of year in the school? One advantage of private is they may be more willing to allow this but you obviously do need to think about longterm implications i.e he may be put in his correct year if he moved school or into state at a later stage.

There is one child out of yr in DD's private yr 1 class.

Does the school offer a summer school? DD's school offers one for 4 weeks which most attend. Would give him some more time to get used to the school.

When my ds was 3 + 3months, he started attending a Nursery '9 - 3' (as used to be the case - 'school hours') and thrived. But is was very much a play based day. Even in Reception (long before the EYFS), there was a lot of learning through play.
In my (admittedly limited) experience of private schools around here, the learning is a LOT more formal in Reception in private schools than in state. Only you will know if that is right for your ds.

My DC have gone through reception in two different schools. In DC1s pre-prep, all parents were offered the option to collect their children at lunchtime on a Friday. There was painting and sticking action for the ones who stayed. The parents of Summer born children tended to collect their offsrping, routinely right up to Easter.

In DC2's pre-prep school all the formal learning stuff (i.e. maths and english) is carried out in the mornings and in the afternoons, they have PE, Music, Art, Drama, Geography, French etc). I think most schools seem to follow this pattern of giving them the more demanding stuff early in the day. If you share your concerns with the school, perhaps they would be open to him starting out with 2 afternoons off each week, to recover (e.g Wed & Fri?), then perhaps one afternoon off after Christmas, then full time, proper so to speak from Easter? That would surely be better than delaying the year?

Also want to say, IME your DS will change and progress a LOT between now and September, and a lot more between Sept & Dec, so even though it's difficult to see today how he would cope, you may be surprised by the change in him over the next six months.

A vote here for something slightly different - don't send him to school until the September after he is 5 and go straight into Year 1. My DS spent what would have been reception still at nursery and then joined in Year 1. It worked like a dream for us - he was ready (and raring to go), he hadn't missed a thing by not being in reception, and he has loved every day since. Only concern may be that you may not get a place in Year 1 at the school of your choice - wasn't a worry for me as the school we wanted was only just coming out of special measures so had lots of room! Good luck! The other posters are right - children do change loads over 6 months!

Could you not up his nursery sessions to prepare him better for school? It may help him get used to it.

I sent both mine to pre-school all day (9-3) when they were funded (only 2 1/2 days to begin with then 3 full days). I found this made the transistion to the school days easier.

Personally I believe it is much better for all children to go in full time straight away as they are with their class so will start making friends etc. Its only my opinion but certainly worked for my boys and also has not worked for friends children when they have just done mornings etc when others have done full days.

I am intending to do roughly what kw13 suggests. Late August born DS is going to go to a Montessori pre-primary department (which has a reception children but it is mixed age groupings for all and each child works at their own level) and then go into Y1 at a private school.

If you have a good pre-school in your area that takes kids to 5 you could consider that.

If you are leaving him in the private system you could also consider trying to have him down a year. I will consider this nearer the time, however I don't think DS will need it as he is massive for his age and in your face very confident.

If you do want to put him down a year I'd check with both the prep and the senior school you want to use that they both agree to keep him out of year throughout.

BTW I wouldn't worry too much about missing reception from a making friends point of view. I am a teacher and honestly at that age a new kid is only 'the new kid' for a week and then they might as well have always been there.