DS (9) is anxious that the planet will be flooded and the world will end soon, how can I help him?

[NotMostPeople]

A couple of weeks ago on a dog walk DS was chatting about global warming etc and said that it worries him a lot that we will soon all be under water or that we'll disappear into a black hole. We talked about it and I thought he was ok.

Yesterday when I collected him from cubs he got into the car and said that he needed to talk about some personal worries and again it was the same thing. He said that he can't stop thinking about it and it stops him sleeping at night. I told him that we need to look after the planet for people in the future and that all the things he's heard about are not going to happen in the immediate future. I also suggested that when he starts thinking like this that he just says to himself 'stop this, you know it's nothing to worry about', which he took on board.

I'm not sure which way to go with this. Do I try to find some resources online/books etc that will show him that the planet is fine for a while? In which case where as everything is geared to telling us to prevent future catastrophe? Or do I try to help him deal with the thoughts that he's having and the resulting anxiety? In which case how? Or both, well it's probably both but any pointers?

He's such a lovely boy, is popular at school, doing well, nothing else going on in his life that would give cause for concern.

Well, we're totally safe from a black hole. Our own sun will explode long before we ever wandered close enough to a black hole for it to cause issues.
(Although, that might not be the best thing to say, in the circumstances!)

As far as rising water levels go, the North pole (Well, the arctic) actually floats on the sea, so if it melted, the water level wouldn't change at all!
The antarctic is different, as is the ice on Greenland. If that melted, there would be a significant change in water level, to the tune of around 70 meters. But the average temperature of the antarctic is almost -40, and many parts of the continent never see positive temperatures at all. There is no danger of the ice there melting in the forseeable future.

He might like this workbook?

What to Do When You Worry Too Much: A Kid's Guide to Overcoming Anxiety

My DS has that workbook - its really good.

FWIW I think they all tend to find something to worry about around his age - it's just because they stop being little children and start to be aware of wider issues, but they don't have the mechanisms to weigh up the risks (or adults abillity to stick their fingers in their ears and sing 'La la la I'm not listening' which protects us from cracking up at everything we hear)

You could reassure him with figures - eg current research suggests that sea level is likely to rise between 18 to 59 cm by the end of this century. That's not exactly great, but it's a long way from "being underwater". You can probably show him how that much height is just a small slope and point out that it is only people who live near sealevel whose houses will be at direct risk. Assuming you don't ive right on the coast you can probably point out that most of the houses in your area are much higher than that - Ordnnace survey maps will give a feel of how small an area would be underwater from that kind of rise.

But he's also at an age where he wants to "do something" to help - so you could look at what things you can do as a family to help with this issue and others, then he might feel that he has some ability to improve the situation, and that helps you feel less helpless about things.

ds (just turned 9) is anxious about burglars breaking into our house and killing us. The anxiety kicks in when he is in bed and stops him sleeping. Night after night he comes downstairs crying when he should be asleep.

Now, I think there are underlying reasons for ds's anxiety, but the anxiety still needs to be resolved.

We have discussed it in rational terms to little avail. He has spent days making pressure sensors and trip wires which set off alarms. He has pads full of wierd and wonderful burglar-trapping devices. None of this has helped.

I have suffered from anxiety myself and in the end, I taught him the techniques which helped me sleep and they all centre around distraction. He knows the thought is not rational, but he cannot stop thinking it, so he has to make himself think about something else. He now thinks of names of girls and boys starting with every letter of the alphabet and also things you can find in the supermarket starting with each letter. Books with characters starting with different letters. Endless, pointless lists really. Generally, this works. Both he and I seldom get to the end of the alphabet before sleep.

On the odd accasion when this does not work, he listens to audio stories on a phone. Very, very quietly so he can only just hear it and so he has to concentrate to hear it.

Indigo - that book looks great.

AMum what you say makes sense, neither of my dd's have been through this but he is a bit of a worrier.

He does want to 'do something' and was ranting about how cross it makes him that not everyone recycles.

When I was 9, I was worried about rabies crossing the channel- kept me up at night just like your DS. I think part of it is the age and part of it is some us are just natural worriers. It helped me (still does) to think of the worst case scenario and what I would do if it happened. Being prepared, having a plan was comforting. That and my parents taking me seriously and reassuring me that while they weren't worried, they would help me prepare. In your DS's case, you could maybe talk about how if it does happen, it'll happen slowly so there will be time to move to higher ground and for towns and cities closer to sea level to come up with defenses (he could try designing his own sea-wall). He can't make everyone else recycle- that's out of his control and that's very anxiety producing for a worrier- so he should focus on what he can do even if other people don't respond appropriately.

Here's another book that I've used with both of my children that was recommended by the school nurse. We've also used the one which was linked to above. I think that's the one which talks about a special (imaginary) worry box which you lock away your worries in. Then you unlock it once a day and deal with them during "worry time". Then throw them away. Worry time for us turned into "chat time" because after a few nights, there were no worries in the box at night time .

www.amazon.co.uk/Bet-Wont-Fret-Workbook-Generalized/dp/1572246006/ref=tmm_pap_title_0

Oh, that does bring back memories! I was such a worrier at that age. I remember being terrified about nuclear war, and also that I would swallow my Tongue in the night

My younger brother was even worse than me. He was convinced he had a flesh eating virus for several weeks.

I think some of us worry more than others, and that nine is an age when the worries start to surface. My 8 year old son is sitting having a cuddle right now, and I'm wondering whether he will be a worrier too!

Harley you brought back a memory there, I used to worry about rabies too!

I'll have a look at that book too JennyWren.

Overall it's reassuring to be reminded that this isn't unusual, for some reason my eldest dcs haven't gone through this stage, but like Harley the rabies thing was a real concern for me for a while.

FWIW I think they all tend to find something to worry about around his age

I think this is true - I can remember being so worried about the notion of Heaven and eternity around this age that I couldn't sleep...that's a church school education for you!

This is another good book, but probably a little young for your DS:
The Huge Bag of Worries

When i was about ten i watched when the wind blows and was petrified at a nuclear fall out. Even now i worry about the end of the world. As a child it was more about being alone. The fear of a major event like the japanese tsunami and not getting help or being with my mum. My mum used to tell me that if the two min warning went off she'd get to me dont worry. Maybe thats the thing to focus on, that a rise in water would be gradual and that humans evolve and react and can live in extreme environments. And that you'll be there with him etc.

Now i worry sick that the two minute warning will sound and i've gotta ensure i get to my own kids!

My ds (6) worries about everything. ATM he is worried about if he would know if his heart is going to stop ( worry brought on by the Bolton footballer having a heart attack in the middle of a game) and he is also worries about his body cells dying and what will happen.

All his worries seem to be health related ATM and I guess it is all a normal worry (death etc) but it can be annoying when I am relaxing having got the kids in bed and ds comes downstairs saying he is worried about yet another health problem. His worry tonight was if his nose was blocked how would he be able to breathe.

I will look into the books that have been linked, they look good!!!

Explain that there is no need to worry because catastrophic climate change is not real.

We got some worry people from Oxfam for dd to tell her worries to and that helps with sleeping a bit. Maybe doing some conservation volunteer work, along the lines of 'every little helps', turning tv off 10 mins earlier and doing more homework (most of dd's concerns would evaporate at such an extream reaction to prevent global warming).