I am pretty sure my son has dyslexia but .......what to do......

[SuzysZoo]

My DS is 9 and is generally doing well at school with the exception of his spelling which is awful. He reads very well, eg. Harry Potter (and gets all the words right). He can learn a list of words and get 10/10 but during his general writing it is awful. eg. of his recent work of fiction..

"Just then he notesed a sircel a big black sircey wiedanuf (wide enough!) for the woel plane to go throo. And sudonly the plane was going in to the black hole"

He is ok at Maths and is not dyspraxic, I don't think, in that he is good at gymnastics and dance. Should I worry about the spelling? Would it help if we had a diagnosis of dyslexia? Would that help him at secondary? The school seem to think it will just sort itself out but he is starting to get a bit of a chip on his shoulder about it. It seems to me that there is something going on in that he does mix letters up a lot,eg. dose for does etc......HELP PLEASE!

As the parent of a dyslexic child, your description of your son doesn't sound to me like he has dyslexia, more that he hasn't been taught how to spell. I would expect the difficulties to not just be confined to spelling. As per Indigo's link there are various tools on the market that can help with spelling if you want to DIY.

If you are considering assessment why not ask the SENCO's opinion of your son's difficulties - perhaps they have some suggestions about support he can receive in class? Assessment by an Ed Psych cost us about £400 several years ago so I imagine it must be around £600 now.

My daughter was assessed at age 7 by an Ed Psych and received specialist teaching at Dyslexia Action. At age 13 she still has difficulties with spelling of long or unfamiliar words. She also makes random mistakes in respect of words she knows. Her teachers are aware that she is dyslexic and in that sense the diagnosis is helpful because they know she is not being lazy or sloppy. She uses a laptop in English for assessments because she cannot write very fast (they tend to write long essays) but that is more or less all the help she gets as she is in the top set.

www.senmagazine.co.uk/articles/986-disagreeing-about-dyslexia-is-it-really-such-a-useful-label.html

My ds never had problems with reading, he makes little mistakes but can always get the meaning, and he is definitely dyslexic. I agree that it is worthwhile (though overpriced) having the educational psychologist assessment, because my ds's confidence had been suffering from his weak written work, and to be told "you are an intelligent child with a specific problem" was helpful. (He was 10 at the time, now he is mid-teens). Confidence is so important. Also, the ed. psych. advised that ds should learn to touch-type (his handwriting is awful as well as his spelling), and he learnt aged 10 over a few months using a typing tutor CD we bought from the Dylexia Association website. We promised him his own "netbook" (mini laptop) to take to and from school once his typing speed was equal to the handwriting speed the ed.psych. had measured. Word-processing has been massively positive for him, he can spell-check, proof-read his work and put in paragraph breaks etc, and turn in work to be proud of. It helps because it makes it easier to organise the written work, not just with legibility and spelling.
You could just do the typing now (and save the assessment fee to buy the netbook!) - to be allowed to use the computer in GCSEs you have to have an assessment which is up-to-date, so if you have one now you'll need another later. (spell-check has to be turned off for exams).

I think in adult life dyslexia is not a disability, just a difference. But it makes life very hard at primary school. If you can help him through this stage, to keep believing in himself and not give up on learning, he will be fine. My friend's dyslexic DD has just reached the sixth form and with a sigh of relief is studying maths, physics and art: finally she can focus on her strengths.

I think in adult life dyslexia is not a disability - You think wrong.

It can severely limit your career choices.

Whether explicitly, because your written skills aren't good enough, or implicitly because you don't believe you're academic enough to go to university......

Or practically, because it just takes you so damn long to do something, that you can't compete with everyone else.

indigobel, of course dyslexia limits your career choices, but in adult life we all have to narrow down our career choices. The point is a dyslexic brain has strengths as well as weaknesses. At primary school the relentless focus on the weaknesses makes it easy to lose sight of the strengths, but they are there. It's an avoidable tragedy if confidence is lost at this stage so (as you put it) you later "don't believe you're academic enough to go to university". This is what the OP is worried about; her ds "is starting to get a bit of a chip on his shoulder about it". I think he would be helped by getting some expert input, not because it will change his spelling but for the effect it could have on his confidence.

I am trying to encourage the OP to think of it as difference, not disability, because her son is not so severely dyslexic he can't read, indeed he is "generally doing well at school", so he will have heaps of potential. Maybe you think being more likely to become an engineer than a journalist means he will be "disabled", but I don't agree.
Another thought: if you do get a diagnosis, any tutoring will help more if it boosts his strengths (such as maths?), as well as the things which are hard for him. That will be more likely to nurture an "I can succeed" attitude.

To be an engineer you have to get a university degree......

My DH has mild dyslexia - and it stopped him being an engineer (his first choice occupation).

He did an apprencticeship instead.

He has spent his whole life doing a manual (badly paid) job instead of being an engineer mostly because of his dyslexia.

So, a fairly shit outcome. Not a disability, but a life that has been severely affected by mild dyslexia.

While there are obviously stories of dyslexic people doing brilliantly - there are far, far more stories of dyslexics doing manual or unskilled jobs because of their dyslexia.

Pretending dyslexia is fine, just different - is very naive.

Indigobell, the OP's son is 9. Do you think the right support at that age might have made a difference to your DH's life?

No

Indigo my DH couldn't read until he was 10 and was put in the bottom remedial sets in secondary school, not allowed to take computers because he was thick etc

He went into an apprenticeship at the age of 15, climbed up the company and got the qualifications to become a professional engineer. The only thing holding him back in his career has been his lack of self confidence. DH learnt to read but still mangles the odd number and cant spell.
He refuses managerial roles because he was badly bullied because he couldn't read and doesn't have confidence to deal with people, except he is brilliant at dealing with people.

My DS has the same problems as his dad, but his school life cant have been more different. Top sets and school behind him all the way telling him he can go to any university of his choice.