Considering move from State to Private at 7. Should I ask current (State) teacher's opinion?

[AubergineKenobi]

Our DD is in Y1 in a large inner city state primary school. She is happy and doing well. I find it hard to find out much about what is happening at school but my impression is that it is a good school coping with a very diverse student body. My only concern is that DD may be being left to coast because she is quite able (for example she says the teacher has not read with her this term because she is not on the reading schemes any more).

My PiL want DD to sit the 7+ and they have offered to pay if she gets into a decent prep. I just cannot decide whether to go for this. I like her being in a community school and she is happy, but maybe she would thrive in a smaller class and a more academic environment.

It seems to be that the person likely to have the most informed views on this is DD1's current teacher who knows best what DD1 is able to do and what her current school is able to provide. I want to book an appointment and ask her whether she thinks DD1 would benefit from a private prep. DH says I cannot do this as I will put the teacher in an awkward position and I will look like I am criticising her teaching and the school. What do others think? Would you talk to the teacher in my circumstances?

Personally, I wouldn't at this point. I think it would be very hard for a teacher to recommend a child leave their school and go elsewhere for better provision - and conversely, I wouldn't expect to get much useful feedback.

You could ask her whether dd does best in small groups or large, whether she seems frustrated or bored, etc.

But I would go and look around some of the preps you have as alternatives, see how you feel, maybe take dd to look around and see how she feels....and go from there. Visiting is a good way to clarify the reality of options, IME.

Good luck with the process!

I wouldn't either. I would sound out parents of older children at the primary to see if they are still happy with the school / any issues that arisen and how they have been handled.

I'd say if she's doing well and happy, it'd be a bit tough on her to move her from friends. If you want to do the private route why not wait until secondary.

In terms of stretching her, why not talk to the teacher just on that level. I'd ask whether there are others on her level, as that's incredibly important in terms of development. You might find there's a fair few of them like her and they have a plan in progress. Or you might find you're right and yes she is ahead and bored. Either way it could help you decide.

talk to the teacher and find out what is really going on. It does seem rather odd that she's done no reading with her teacher in class for a whole term. However, having said that my son is in Y2, also at a large inner city primary that does quite well. They have literacy in class every morning, but also have small ability group tutorials with their literacy tutor (either 6 or 8 children). They also have small, ability group tutorials with a numeracy tutor, in addition to the classwork.

If your school is a large one too, then they may have the resources to be doing this too.

So basically what I'm saying is what the others said - find out how the school is stretching her and if you're happy with that. But also look at the other prep schools and see if you're happy with them (heck you're not having to pay for this so why not!). Look at the children from your community school, and the prep school, outside of class. How do they look? Are they happy and confident? Do they seem aware of their surroundings? If you can ask a child something - is this the right way to the office? Doesn't matter what anything will do, just to see how they respond. Are they helpful and more importantly, do they appear to be proud that they can help you? This all speaks to the pride they have for their school.

(this was all told to me by a teacher friend BTW I've no experience of this stuff!)

Did you not post a month ago or so on how to prepare you dd for 7+? I think I replied then. I'd strongly advise not to set up a special meeting, it could really upset someone. Having just put my dd from a state primary through 7+ there's no way I'd have asked her current school to advise, why should they want to direct one of their smartest students to another school?

I did ask if she was one of the brightest in the class at some point during a meeting in yr one, so I knew if she was in with a chance or not and they reluctantly said "yes". And when dd was in the middle of the application procedure (ie had done exam and was about to go for interview), her teacher said she thought she'd thrive in a selective environment but by then the damage was done.

I have just moved my ds aged 7 from our community primary to a local prep school and had the same reservatio s as you.

He was happy in his small school with a mixed Y1/2 class but as a very able boy he was rarely stretched and often left to read while others finished work instead of being given extension work. My DH was very against the idea of a prep school but I convinced him to go and have a look and we agreed to try for the Y3 entrance exams.

With no preparation he passed the entrance tests and interview and was offered a place, after endless discussion we moved him after the Easter holidays. I can honestly say it was the best decision and we have no regrets. Our son is happy, engaged, challenged and thriving in his new school. Yes, the day is longer and the pace and expectations are much higher but he has really risen to the challenge and I can see he will have many more opportunities.

I would say go and have a look, go with your instinct And don't rely on the opinion of teachers who have an interest in her staying where she is rather than an unbiased viewpoint.

Thanks all. I guess that is a clear consensus that I should not ask the teacher. I suppose you are right even though I long to consult someone who knows what DD is actually like in the classroom.

AreYouThereGod - yes I did have a thread about how to prepare for the 7+ exams. As you can see I have a lot of concerns about the whole process/choice and I just cannot make-up my mind!

Couldn't you consult her without bringing up the possibility of a school move? Is there a parents evening coming up? Or if not, you can usually ask for a quick chat about how child is getting along anyway.

I agree with your DH - go and see her together to discuss your child's current accomplishments and plans to continue stretching your DD. From that you should get a clear idea if/how far ahead of track your dd is currently performing and the road ahead in that school. Then go and see the prep schools you are considering and from those investigations you should have enough information to form an opinion without having to ask the teacher, "Should I move her?". That would be putting the teacher in an impossible situation - how could she not seek to reassure you that your dd's education will be well catered for at her current school? She is never going to say, "Do you know Mrs Jones, I really do think your dd would be better served leaving here and going to the local prep." Never.

I sympathise, it's a tricky business

It does sound to me, however, that if your dd is doing well and happy, you don't have that much to gain by moving her. Do you know of anyone else who made a similar move from yr school who could help (though they'll be bound to big up the private school)? Have you looked at the schools you're considering? When I looked round private schools most of them left me cold and I preferred the state primary, there was only one that I fell in love with and happily dd is going there in Sept.