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Original poster

Child pressured by *therapist* at school without mothers consent...please help?!

34 replies

Littleblue · 03/05/2012 18:37

ok the guy introduced himself as a therapist..then went on to say with looking at you I can see you have a hard life..I can see you have a mask on but I can see through it..I will not tell anybody what you talk to me about.first question..What is your life like? Then he went on to ask about my health(mother)..about his siblings..Whats is your mothers mood like..what is your life like? He asked one question regarding if DS liked school in preference to home. he asked about Dad..DS says I dont spend much time with him..and he always asks me to do the same kind of things! It wasnt an hour spent but around twenty minutes. *CHILD said that therapist said..I look forward to seeing you next week. I ask school about..they say following last nights consultation we thought it might help DS in regards to how he expresses himself in class. As I mentioned DS got soaked to the skin this morning and I decided to take him home..I had intended to dry his clothes and hopefully get hold of somebody to take him into school..then the school called me around 9.30am and said would you like us to send somebody to pick ds up..To which I agreed..At no point had they ever offered beforehand to help out and at no point did they mention DS having a window with somebody they needed him to talk to that day.

Therapist said he has a son that attends the school..like I said only other kid due to see this therapist was some young lad with a history of child abuse..if this was a class issue why didnt they focus more ion the issues Ethan had in class..as far as his shyness, the eating issue and learning..Focus was entirely made up of time he spent at home rather than in class. I'm disgusted!

and more importantly why was no letter sent home for my approval..teacher I spoke to agreed it seemed odd considering what she had managed to make out that questions had been asked about his home life as well as me not having signed any approval...ds's father is at best a part time parent , and does NOT have a PR agreement...this seems to have come about from discussions between exe and teacher behind the mothers back..ergo hearsay....

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Original poster
Littleblue · 03/05/2012 18:39

This is about a close friend , who lives very isolated and on benefits... she has some problems with depression , yes..but manages very well.... any advice would be very helpful , this seems illegal to me!!??

OP posts:
madwomanintheattic · 03/05/2012 18:40

You have named child. Report to mn?

lisad123 · 03/05/2012 18:41

I'd there any chance there may be serious cp concerns? If there is they are allowed to talk to children without adult permission.

Original poster
Littleblue · 03/05/2012 18:43

name was a mistake , i thought id weeded em out
...no surname tho

OP posts:
Original poster
Littleblue · 03/05/2012 18:45

can I edit??

OP posts:
madwomanintheattic · 03/05/2012 18:47

Nope. Ask mn. Report own post. I've reported anyway. Then start new thread of they delete the whole thing rather than take out name...

Original poster
Littleblue · 03/05/2012 18:53

Ironically , its spelt entirely wrong anyway , but thank you for the moderation

OP posts:
Sunscorch · 03/05/2012 18:54

Are you saying this "therapist" spoke to your son about someone else's child?
Or have you posted something someone else wrote?

Original poster
Littleblue · 03/05/2012 18:56

Ive written an account based on what my friends son told her tonight... shes in a state about it all , understandably..my family are not involved..

OP posts:
BeauNash · 03/05/2012 18:57

I think the OP's friends son was seen by a therapist, without he parent's knowledge or consent. She needs to talk to the school.

Original poster
Littleblue · 03/05/2012 19:02

They are due to call her and explain in the morning , shes worried she will struggle to cope with such a loaded convo without some kind of idea why this could happen... she loves her kids , this is not a cp issue , depression doesnt make you a child abuser..

OP posts:
BeauNash · 03/05/2012 19:15

I think any parent who cares about their children would be chilled to the bone by this happening. Maybe she could write out some questions beforehand, so she's less likely to forget during the call.

Original poster
Littleblue · 03/05/2012 19:17

Yes , her exe left her penniless when their son was a tiny baby , see's him sporadically and usually dumps him on his mother and buggers off with his gf...he's decided to cut a row with the school as a reaction to her asking for some money to heat the house a bit longer everyday..as they are freezing cold..

OP posts:
TheCrackFox · 03/05/2012 19:20

How old is the child? I would also try and find out the qualifications of the therapist because it is a profession crawling with charlatans.

Your friend needs to make an appointment with the HT and find out what the bloody he'll is going on.

Original poster
Littleblue · 03/05/2012 19:21

He's 9 erm..whats the HT ?

OP posts:
BeauNash · 03/05/2012 19:29

Head teacher. I def think she needs to make an appointment.

doinmummy · 03/05/2012 19:30

Head Teacher

Original poster
Littleblue · 03/05/2012 19:31

sorry...doh

OP posts:
NotSureICanCarryOn · 03/05/2012 19:35

Agree with the Head Teacher.
She also needs to have a list of questions ready and perhaps someone with her too to support her, remind her of her questions and ensure that everything is done right.
Could you go with her?

Original poster
Littleblue · 03/05/2012 19:41

Yes , i'll go with her ... I think this has been handled badly

OP posts:
TheCrackFox · 03/05/2012 19:42

Yes, tell her to take a friend/relative when she goes to see the HT. I really would not be happy at a 9yr old having chats with a "therapist" without my express consent.

BeauNash · 03/05/2012 19:47

What are the therapist's qualifications?
What is he therapist's experience?
What concerns do the school have about DS?
Did the school have any concerns before the ex spoke to them?
Are the school allowed to investigate on an ex's say so alone?
Why did the school not contact mother before the session?
What is the upshot?
Can I see a copy of the schools procedure for organising therapy sessions without parents consent?

It might also be worth remembering that they are probably acting with good intentions.

Pozzled · 03/05/2012 20:03

Some serious issues to address here, definitely make an appointment with the Head.

In addition to the questions mentioned above, I'd want to know:

How did the school find this therapist?
Is it appropriate for him/her to be doing this if they are a parent of a child at the school?
Has the 'therapist' had appropriate crb clearance? Are they aware of the school's child protection policy? (No adult in a school should make open promises like 'I will not tell anyone what you talk about').

lisad123 · 03/05/2012 20:30

Well without wanting to sound cruel, you have mentioned mum as depression and not enough money to heat the house and the kids are freezing. Maybe the school have received more info and been asked to look at cp issues. Maybe the ex has reported a lot of stuff and therefore they have to look at it.
However, therapist sounds odd and certainly shouldn't be practicing within his child's school Confused

FallenCaryatid · 03/05/2012 20:36

Some schools use a play therapist to work with children they feel have emotional needs that need meeting, but I would have expected the school to contact the parent and explain why they thought there was a need.
Even if they contacted her and she ignored the communication, they should be able to provide written evidence that they followed correct procedure. Does the father have equal parental responsibility?