Any other dd's/ds's not keen on school in Yr 2?

[roundabout1]

My dd has had ongoing illnesses since Jan & as a result has had lots of time off. Since this she's increasingly being worried about school, feels she's rubbish at Maths, hates not knowing what is going to happen that day along with some playground/friend issues too, probably because she's been off all the time. We are trying to sort out the health side of things & waiting blood tests & have spoken to school regarding the problems dd is having. DD's teacher said that she worried about dd emotionally which of course got me even more worried. She's a quiet, sensitive child who does tend to worry & overthink things, she's the youngest in the year & although academically copes ok is slightly more immature emotionally than a lot of her class. If dd was completely well we could have different school friends over for tea but as she's very tired she's not really fit for that most of the time. Any ideas or suggestions anyone?

Maybe have friend just for play, not tea? ie quick hours play after school? Can you get the timetable (however vague) from teacher, so she has a bit of a clue as to what will happen each day?

Maybe just lots of encouragement/tactical ignoring will help, I know my DD (also Y2) has been hard work this year, I think it finally hits them that this is IT, school is forever, in their minds. Who can look beyond their next b'day at that age after all.

It is a scary thought I think, that this is your life from now on, and maybe having been a bit ill she just got out of the habit of school which would only have been minimaly ingrained really.

Bit of a stream of consciousness there, just trying to think what might be going on. Good luck, sure better advice will appear.

Hi roundabout1:

Several things occur. First off Y2 girls can get very 'clicky' - so prolonged absences may mean that your DD hasn't settled in well with a specific group of children. This can be very unsettling and make the school day seem to stretch on forever - many children can't bear not knowing whether they'll have friends to play with that day.

My advice is:

1. try to find out what your DD can do at recess/ lunch time on her own. The teacher may welcome help laying out things for the next lesson. There may be a great climbing frame or hopscotch grid she can play on with or without other children.

2. Tell the teachers and if you know some (the dinner ladies - who often monitor the play ground) that you're worried DDs absences are making it hard for her to renew friendships now. They may be able to help her join in - by gently encouraging inclusion.

3. try and get your DD involved in other activities outside of school. This helps to reassure her that all her friends do not have to come from school.

4. try and make friends with children of similar age in your neighbourhood - knowing and occasionally playing with kids of similar age on your street/ in your area can help socially. They may not be in her class or year group - but it helps widen the circle of friends.

5. if she's mentioned she really likes certain children from school, try arranging play dates or going somewhere over half-term or teacher training days.

My DD2 (also Y2) goes through liking and not liking friends so much I just can't keep up. Some of her friends are hard work. Your DD may well be experiencing this too - so it may not be that she's not emotionally mature - it may be that some of the behaviour she's witnessing just isn't that reasonable (you'd be amazed how pushy, demanding and manipulative 6/7 year olds can be - my DD2 was asked to bring in all her Hello Kitty stickers if she wanted to be someone's friend. It took me a few days to help convince DD2 that was no way to behave to a friend).

Thanks Scrablet, good ideas there. I think it's also hit my dd this year that school is every school day until she's 16 & also being off so much makes being there all the time harder. Her teacher this year s very strict & quite scary, I anticipated lots of problems but she really blossomed until last term.

My DN was struggling when she started school with the social side, to the point where it was impacting on her ability to focus in class. My SIL arranged a party at home, and invited all the girls in the class. It was a craft party, and I went along as did granny, other aunts etc. to help the girls make necklaces etc. We were there to make sure the girls had a good time, and also to talk up my DN and chat to the other girls about games they played, could they include DN etc. (in a subtle way!). It worked incredibly well, and DN became much more settled, and had strong friendships now.

I know your DD is tired due to her illnesses so it may not be feasible to have the whole class, but maybe a weekend party for a few of the girls might help?

Past sell by date - I think clickiness - is a big part of it. Girls can be awful & I know dd has said before that so & so has said unless you bring this in for me I'm not inviting you to my party & also dd's best friend has been saying she must play a certain game or she won't be her friend any more. With her being off so much her best friend who previously was very reliant on her has had to make new friendships. They do have a climbing wall & adventure playground so she can plan on that on her own. I think we'll be having a meeting with her class teacher soon so I'll mention that. I never thought if inviting other children around I've been concentrating on class friends but it would boost her confidence to be around others.

Crythsanth - Thats a good idea, when she's feeling a bit better I may copy that one.