how do I work towards DS2's target of "to have his own opinions"

[lingle]

At parent's evening DS2 ~(year 1, SEN register for social communication skills)'s teacher set the following as his target: "to express his own opinions at circle time".

Apparently, at circle time, when it gets to DS2's turn, he will frequently say "I think the same as Bob" (Bob being a very popular child, or a child who got a good laugh).

I went to see the teacher and asked how to break this target down and he asked what i meant. We got as far as thinking about subjects that DS2 would have an opinion on (space, etc).

But you can't just say to a child " express your opinions" if he's copying because he doesn't understand the concept can you?

Can any teachers or other brilliant people help me break this skill down?

Do I practice asking DS2 if he think children should go to school at the weekend, and if not why not, for example?

And what level of ability is expected in Year 1? or, indeed, in reception if Ds2 is still working at reception level?

Is there a subject for circle time or does the teacher ask a question?

I'd start on concrete things - choosing for himself from a menu when the family talk about what they might have, discussing what car in a car park people like best etc. Then maybe sitting together watching a programme and doing your most deadly animal - you might have to rope in friends !

It could also be that hes got an opinion at circle time, but is too shy to talk - I remember doing that at a much older age

I'd do a fair amount of positive reinforcement every time he expresses his opinion at home.

I agree with CMOTDibbler. Also ask him why he is the same opinion. And ask for a proper answer not just "Because he is right" or "I think the same".

Maybe the teacher can work towards the same?

I have a son in Y1 who is average.

Unlike his older siblings at the same age, he understands that there are many questions that don't have a right answer. The sort of debates he has range from the trivial- "What's about strawberry or chocolate icecream?" to the philosophical- "How do baby birds know to fly away when they hear human footsteps?"

The group work at school thing can be a minefield. My older son wouldn't talk in group situations at school when he was in Y2 and the school worked on building his confidence so that he felt safe expressing an opinion. He learned to listen to other people's opinions and ask questions himself.

Could the teacher ask him first for a few weeks?
Or is that too obvious?

I would think a lot depends on the teacher's skill at drawing opinions out of less confident children at this age. Asking the right questions in a safe way. Does he chat/offer his thoughts at the dinner table? I wonder if it's a question of confidence when he's in the school environment or something he needs encouragement with at home as well. Hopefully someone wise will be on soon!

I would start by having much smaller groups, maybe just 2 children and building up to a bigger group when he is ready. Speaking up in a big group is very daunting for many adults,never mind children and children on the SEN register for social communication skills.
I would be questioning whether the whole concept of circle time is appropriate for him.
he needs to build his confidence to speak in certain situations and being forced to speak is not the way to do it.

My ds1 started off with working with just the TA and discussing things with her. When he could cope with that they added another child who had similar difficulties and then gradually built up the size of the group.

thanks for replies so far. We had this dialogue when I picked up this afternoon. Does this count as using some logical thought and expressing an opinion?

me: gives him goodie bar "do you think all the children should get goodie bars or just you and DS1?"
him: "just me and DS1 and my best friend and his brother"
me: "but maybe that isn't fair?"
him; "but you would waste your money, there are about 900 children in the school"

I was quite pleased - I hadn't mentioned anything about the price or cost.

Does this count as forming an opinion?

to respond to your kind posts:

• I think there must be a subject, I can't imagine it would just be abstract questionning at this age.
• I like the idea of starting off with very concrete things and starting at home and doing positive reinforcement.
• noramum I think he would struggle to answer that point - this is where the SEN thing comes in - he's developmentally quite immature in some ways.
• DeWe - yes, teacher could ask him first, but he still has a (now hidden) slight language processing problem so it could cause anxiety
• insacerre and coppertop - yes it does seem as though smaller groups would be better. His social skills group is spent negotiating with other children in informal situations so it can't be done there. Guess we'll have to do it at home (doesn't that sound familiar!)

The target talks about him expressing his own opinions; it quite rightly assumes that he has some. Is it partly a confidence issue? Is he scared of giving the 'wrong' answer, so copies what he knows is a safe answer given by another child?

I agree with others:

-Positive reinforcement for expressing an opinion, even if you don't agree
-The teacher should increase the amount of times he is asked for his opinion before others, and reinforce when he answers. It would be helpful if the questions had a more obvious 'right' or 'wrong' answer at first, and then become more abstract.
-Use of social stories to talk about when people are scared to say something in case they are wrong.
-Take a preferred and a non-preferred object (a favourite toy and an old plastic wrapper, for example) and ask him which he likes best. Then ask him why.

• Use blatantly unfair scenarios and ask him if he thinks they are fair. Why/why not.

Get the teacher to do what you did - offer a choice of 2 opinions (just you get goodie bar -v- everyone) and then explain why
When confident making a choice between 2 options widen out

At a very simple level, I would be asking "What do you think?" at every available opportunity.

tethersend,

I strongly suspect that he doesn't understand the question quite a lot of the time.......

I like the idea of taking absurdly unfair scenarios, that sounds like a powerful trigger.

if there is a confidence issue I wouldn't be surprised, no doubt many of the little girls are conducting reasoned analyses!

That conversation you had about the choc bars was very good. You could do that about almost everything you do (if you can stand it). If he gets used to giving opinions at home, and especially giving reasons as he did with you, he'll grow in confidence, he'll get used to expressing himself. It'll really help.

thank you Jux. for some reason you've made me cry!

yes, I can do that.

We had a great book at home when DD was little called 'You Choose' (still on Amazon) no words just very colourful pages of places to visit, food you like, jobs you could do and so on. we used to have a bit of a circle time at home with questions like- which animal would you have as a pet and why? Easily our favourite book and we practised making different decisions and giving reasons. I would highly recommend this and you could take turns choosing first.

I've followed your recommendation and bought it!

I really hope it helps, really helped my DD (similar problems with confidence), now at 10 has too many opinions!

lol clopper.

The goodie bar talk was very good. It seems he understands not only that giving it to all children is stupid but he also understands why.

I think he may need to start with little one-to-one and a group of 30 is intimidating.

@Clopper: DD got the book when she was 3, she loved looking at it but I hated it as she wasn't ready to talk about it. Now with nearly 5 we can have long conversations and carry a fantasy story through the whole book.

thanks noramum, what was particularly nice was that I hadn't thought about the expense myself in my hypothetical situation.

I know that parents of many NTs (esp. the girls) will have had these "surprises" in their conversations since 2.6 but for me it's an exciting novelty!