DD's Yr 2 Homework, where does "involved" end and "pushy" begin?

[treadonthecracks]

Just had a horrible hour and a bit trying to help DD do research and answer some questions on animals for her homework. Should only have been about half an hours work I'd say. We are only half way through. Planning to resume it after breakfast tomorrow.

She won't concentrate, is cheeky, being silly and messing about, writing in her scruffiest writing. All to wind us (me and DH) up. It works beautifully, we try to remain patient but end up shouting. She spent half an hour in her room so we could all calm down.

I have read many posts about leaving them to get on with it, but she needed help to research this. Being pushy will just demotivate them. I've also read reports and such about parents being "involved" making all the difference to their education. Can anyone explain?

I am planning to ask her teacher about this, and have told DD I've put a note in the homework diary telling the teacher how she's behavied. She is teachers pet at school, but even the threat of the note didn't motivate her.

oopsi - she can do it no problem, I promise you. She's twigged it's a great way to wind us up but...

Pastsellby - I have my strategy sorted for this week's attempt, a new me - cool calm and collected

I spoke to her teacher after school today, and if we send in no homework, the teacher is going to do her best disappointed face.

Teacherwithtwokids - we are still getting a fair bit of "shared learning" homework so I feel obliged to assist.

I am waiting for my opportunity to step back. I often want to help her extend sentences, use connectives, adjectives and so forth, but I think that sort of help is going to have to wait until we have the homework situation a lot calmer.

TOTC - we don't give shared learning homework. We have too many parents and carers without the ability or opportunity to assist, and we see no reason to further entrench the gulf between different groups of children in this respect.

So we give 'rehearsal' homework which the children should be able to complete independently. The special TA basically offers a place, a time and the equipment needed for the homework for the children she works with - and that's all I ask all parents to provide for their children, and all I provide for my own children.

I love these ideas.

We are only in Reception and only get a bit of phonics, but I recognise the performance! I am loving that we are not alone and I am going to use the ideas in a customised way to try and break the habits, Thank you.

Also a Reception parent here and have been busy taking notes. dd already has a fair bit of homework and the strops have started so I will put a good system in place now to avoid problems later. It always gets me that dd will whine for hours at the weekend but then when she actually sits down to do her homework she finishes everything in about 10 minutes. What a waste of energy (hers and mine)!

that point someone made up thread about it really being homework for the parents resonated with me. my child had a 'creative' making art project thing - year one. said child went in with something that looked like it had been made by a 6 year old. some other children went in with items that had quite clearly been made for them by their parents/older siblings? i felt bad, child felt bad... what's everyone's stance on this kind of thing?

anyone any thoughts?

Mummmsy, as I think someone said earlier, the teachers know who did the homework. Maybe the answer is for the teacher to make sure the child who made the effort is rewarded?

I think doing the work for them is pushy, what do they learn?

To me "involved" is helping them, encouraging them, but this can be tricky. DD's teacher wants her to extend her sentences (using because, so etc) and start them in different ways. So I sit with her and try to be as positive as possible, but also help her do better sentences/paragraphs whatever the teacher has stated.

I am going to lay off though, as this "help" seems to be what's getting her wound up and leading to our problems. Hopefully, when we have good homework habits in place, I will be able to encourage her more.

So in your example I suppose you'd be holding the sellotape, but trying to make sure it's their idea. I'd find it hard not to interfere - but you can see it will demotivate them.

Do you really think the teacher wants to see what a parent / older sibling has done?

As a parent, on the occasions I do help, I note what I have done on the work ("1kid not sure how to approach this algebra problem. We worked on similar problems together then this one was done on 1kid's own" or "2kid wanted to make a clay eagle as a symbol of Jupiter. All independent except for help woth shaping wings").

As a teacher, I make it pretty clear that I value a child's own hard work, mistakes and all, much more highly than the faultless work done by a parent - and reiterate this message at parents' evenings if the message doesn't sink in quickly.... I expect the same standard of work in homework as in school BUT if it is suspiciously much better I do tend to make discreet enquiries and reassure the child that their own work is what I'm looking for.

interesting... we couldn't help but feel undermined by the other massive, complex projects! i completely identify with 'wound up' and 'demotivated' scenarios though, the more i butt in, the less interested she is, usually ends in tears. for written work i recently bought an illustrated dictionary and showed her how to use it, which helped enormously - largely i let her get on with it, if she's 'stuck' she will ask

as a uni tutor, any plagarised work sticks out like a sore thumb to me, so i guess it's the same principle really

I am happy to report that DD had homework suitable for her to do on her own this week, she did it beautifully, no fuss, with just a little help from DH.

Thanks again for all the help and support.

Oopsi, my sentiments exactly. A bit of work to help with reading, writing, spelling etc, but for the child surely?
My dd school the opposite. They have a book to read for 15 mins a night with a parent. Of course I do bits with her but I have to find out myself what she needs to be doing and at what level.