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I feel sad for dd about her friends not playing with her.

5 replies

VivaLeBeaver · 27/04/2012 20:47

she's in her last year at primary school. There have been 4 of them in a little group since reception. One of the girls has been dds best mate for ever.

Not anymore and no real reason that dd can think of why.

Dd just says they don't want to play with her anymore, she will ask to join in and they say no and walk off. Dd says there hasn't been Any big argument. I've carried on inviting her best friend over for tea and the odd sleepover. She's been over maybe four times since sept but has never been invited back which is unusual. But has been happy to come here and they've got on fine. I know this girls mum and mentioned to her that dd was a bit unhappy and thought that the girls weren't playing with her, etc and the other girls mum was like " oh no x still really likes her, etc"

I don't really feel I can do anymore. Dd has made friends with a couple of other girls now and will play with them instead but I know she still feels left out. Her teacher brought it up at parents evening but with a positive spin along the lines of "dd has made new friends this year" and I pointed out that she's had to as her old friends ignore her, are being unfriendly, etc. Oh and one of the new friends has a reputation for been a real trouble maker so not sure how I feel about that.

Teacher sort of sighed and said it's year 6 girls for you. I know she's right, I said to dd tonight that it's not long left till secondary school. I'm hoping things will be better then. But her old friends will be going to the same school and I'm worried she will continue to feel left out.

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slaveofsolitude · 27/04/2012 21:04

I went through something similar when I was at junior school (I agree girls are terrible for blowing hot and cold at this sort of age). It carried on for a few months when we all first went up to high school as we were all settling in and getting to know new friends, but then the friendship group came to an end really and everyone established new friends / learned how to operate in big school. I met two new girl friends in yr 7 who were real kindred spirits and whom I am still very close to 25 years later!

So, I would say, try to get through the next few months supporting your DD, give her a lovely summer with your family and she will start secondary school from a happy place and, more likely than not, make some lovely new friends in this important new stage of her life.

I understand that it is worrying for you though - I worry about my DS' friendships and he is only 4!.

itdoesnthurttohavemanners · 27/04/2012 21:09

:( your poor daughter. Agree with Slave above. Myself and my two best friends went to high school together and were not friends at all in high school, despite having been so close in primary. Everything changes in high school.

Does she have any friends who are nothing to do with school? (Brownies/ Guides, swimming, tennis?! that type of thing)..that worked for me, having my own friends always meant that I could deal with awful girl issues at school!

ps. think the teacher is right too! :)

Portofino · 27/04/2012 21:20

I was the only one from my primary when I started secondary. I knew not a soul. I made friends - and I was not the uber confident, popular sort. It was fine. I swear it is worse to watch as a parent when your dcs go through this stuff than it ever was at the time....

crazynanna · 27/04/2012 21:26
Sad

Happened to dd in yr 6. She was devasted and low....but she was going to a SS as the only one (they all were going to the girls' Catholic school) and she was really chipper and positive about it.

Started yr 7 and got friends' with a little group of 3/4,but one was a Queen Bee.
Happened again at the end of yr 7 and she was alone again.

Now yr 9 and got 2 lovely friends'. Third time lucky Smile

I do think it's a learning curve

VivaLeBeaver · 27/04/2012 21:36

Thanks for the advice. I'm not really sure how much it's affecting her. She doesn't really mention it. She's been as grumpy as hell lately but that could just be her age, and sats are looming which doesn't help.

She doesn't have any out of school friends which is a shame. Fingers crossed secondary will be better for her. It would have been nice though if living in the same village they could have stayed friends, etc. I know the other girls meet up at weekends, etc and dd knows they do as well.

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