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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

So a parent came up to me in the playground this morning and said.....

16 replies

JiltedJohnsJulie · 27/04/2012 11:02

Has your DS(Y3) told you he's been with my DS into the Staff room and done a Y4 maths test paper?

She then went onto tell me that her son had scored higher than mine and had since done a Y5 maths paper and got 19 out of 20. She also told me how my DS had scored.

Am I wrong or is this stealth bragging? Know that school haven't told her what is going on, her DS has so she's not breaching any school confidentiality but am a little concerned about who else she has told as she is very indiscreet.

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MerryMarigold · 27/04/2012 11:04

I don't think it's stealth bragging, it's out and out bragging.

I wouldn't care if she told anyone else. Sounds like your ds is doing well...I'm sure anyone else she tells will just feel bad about their child and dislike her for it.

mrsruffallo · 27/04/2012 11:06

This is stealth bragging.

learnandsay · 27/04/2012 11:08

I don't understand, why do we need to worry about this?

LowFlyingBirds · 27/04/2012 11:12

If she has said this to anyone else she will only succeed in making herself look like a competitive weirdo, i really wouldnt worry about it.

Really, who cares if her child scored betterthan yours? Do you care?

ZZZenAgain · 27/04/2012 11:13

it is a bit strange for her to know your ds' score IMO and she is being a bit annoying with it but I wouldn't worry too much about who else she has told. All they would know is that your ds is good at maths - and her ds is even better.

redskyatnight · 27/04/2012 11:17

Definitely bragging.
Can't see why she would tell other parents about how your DS is doing but I think other parents tend to know a bit about how other children in your DC's class are doing anyway. DS talks very little about school, but even he might come home and say that Doris had got full marks on the really hard test and John hadn't got any marks at all.

severnofnine · 27/04/2012 11:18

Ignore, ignore, ignore

this way madness lies!

Original poster

JiltedJohnsJulie · 27/04/2012 11:20

Yeah, I suppose I shouldn't worry about it. The last thing I am ever going to do is to mention his test or scores to anyone at school. Talk about a quick way to ostracise yourself .

It was a bit tricky too because a couple of Mums came and joined us as she was talking to me. Just kept saying that DS hadn't mentioned it and no, I didn't know about it. She is a bit hard to shut up sometimes .

OP posts:

ZZZenAgain · 27/04/2012 11:23

other parents won't think badly of you because ds is good at maths, so even if they hear about it, it doesn't matter. It is another thing if you are preening about it, that is always a turn-off.

Wish my dd was good at maths, sigh. Doesn't stop me liking other parents who dc are great at it.

Original poster

JiltedJohnsJulie · 27/04/2012 11:27

Most of the parents are ok to be fair. In Reception we had a couple who would get their child's reading book out of their bag at hometime and discuss it really loudly. Nobody took much notice thankfully.

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Guinnessisgoodforyou · 27/04/2012 11:27

Why would you be bothered who she has told? Why does it matter?

Original poster

JiltedJohnsJulie · 27/04/2012 11:32

Well for a start it isn't anyone else's business what tests my DS has been doing, is it? Especially as I've only found out through her, who was told by her DS aged 8 so might not even be true.

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SunflowersSmile · 27/04/2012 11:35

I would have tried to shut her up too. Find that sort of boasting distasteful.

RaisinBoys · 27/04/2012 12:03

Aren't you "stealth bragging" OP?

Original poster

JiltedJohnsJulie · 27/04/2012 12:28

at Rosin. At no point have I mentioned what score my DS got or whether he passed or failed. Now if I'd come on MN saying, *I'm a bit narked but isn't my DS marvelous he's scored say 15 out of 15 (he didn't by the way) then that would be me stealth bragging. Anyway, I've only got her word for any of this and for all I know the whole class could have done the test.

OP posts:

PastSellByDate · 27/04/2012 13:19

JiltedJohnsJulie:

I agree with lowflyingbirds - if she's reporting this elsewhere she's the one who looks odd.

In terms of what she's saying - if this has come from her son, then in fact it's no different than if he's observed and reported something similar from within the class room.

I think the issue here is that teachers are reporting one pupil's scores in front of other pupils - but that may be common at your school. It is very common at our school - so we've taken the attitude that there's no fighting it, it's just the way it is.

My DD1 came home and told me Mrs X was pregnant 3 months before it was officially announced. She'd overheard it from the dinner ladies. As I didn't want DD2 having the disaster that is Mrs X, we were overjoyed at the news (we even contributed to a little pressie for the new arrival!).

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