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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

quick question about parties

19 replies

giveitago · 26/04/2012 21:15

OK - ds is having a birthday soon - his class is pretty much 14 boys and he's invited 9 (so with him that is 10 - that leaves 4 boys - is that bad?

He's in year 1.

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BoysBoysBoysAndMe · 26/04/2012 21:24

It's not bad at all, it's your choice.

I however, would invite all of them because it's unlikely they will all come, and then no one has any hard feelings.

It's only 4 extra.

Sunscorch · 26/04/2012 21:37

Poor girls :(

treas · 26/04/2012 21:47

Don't give it another thought my dd was the only girl to be left out of a class mates all girl birthday outing because her mother doesn't like her.

Dd wasn't bothered as she is friendly with the girl at school and realised that it wasn't her fault that her mother has ishoos - blooming woman rolls her eyes and sighs everytime dd opend her mouth or is chosen to do something at school.

mrsscoob · 26/04/2012 21:50

Don't agree with the poor girls comment but I do feel sad for the 4 boys left out. If you are going to invite pretty much all the boys in the class could you not stretch to the other 4?

ShowOfHands · 26/04/2012 21:51

DD is in reception. Her party is in a fortnight. We've invited everybody (except one who we can't invite). I just couldn't leave a few out when they're so young. So we invited all 18. 11 have replied.

knackeredmother · 26/04/2012 21:51

Is it an all boys school? If so yabu

whydoesitalwaysrainonme · 26/04/2012 21:57

Either invite all of them or a smaller number. Those four might be really upset that they are left out.

sunnyday123 · 27/04/2012 07:11

i agree with the the above post - either invite a smaller number like 6 or 7 or invite all of them - inviting the majority seems a little sad for those left out. There are bound to be 3 or so who don't come.

Everyone in DDs school does parties for girls or boys so i don't agree its sad to only invite the boys - esp given lots of kids at that age have theme parties e.g. princess parties.

Last month a girl in DDs Y1 class invited 12 of the girls and left 3 out and it was so sad :( .

All the girls were talking about it in class all day and my dd was really upset especially as we had invited her to DDs party a few weeks previously.

Original poster

giveitago · 27/04/2012 14:52

Oh blimey - right last year he was the kid always left out (hugely cliquey place and I work so knew nobody) so I did have an almighty big party for him. When I looked at the list something did worry me so I got a list of boys names in his class from the school and it transpired it was everyone minus 2 boys so I just invited them.

This year I was hoping for a smaller party - the boys he's left out I'm not sure why but defo one gives him a really hard time (to the point I'll probably speak to the teacher about it). That said, I have no idea of playground politics and don't want to offend.

He's invited 7 girls (and not invited 8) so no issues. Its the boys I'm worried about.

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Moshlingmummy · 27/04/2012 15:39

Oh I thought it was just boys, I think if he's invited half the girls too that's fine, thats half the class ish... I think it would only be unfair if it was 4 from the whole class that were left out.

pinkappleby · 27/04/2012 15:50

No problem given the extra girl info.

Original poster

giveitago · 27/04/2012 16:00

He has two girlfriends in his class so he's invited them their friends to make them feel comfortable!! LOL. With the boys in the class he's invited everyoneing except 4 (and there are 14 boys in the class). That's what's making me feel a bit uncomfortable.

In fact, the school has a policy of teachers not giving out invites so it's left to parents before and after school and it's a bit embarrasing actually. I starting today and I saw the face of one particular mum (I honestly think it's the mum's and dad's who feel if more than the kids if they are not invited) and she was looking. She's a lovely lady and we get on - ds just didn't invite her son this year.

Heck, you know what - it's a cheap as chips macdonalds party and I'm half of the mind to invite the other four boys and get the invites out on Monday. Then I can just sleep easy.

Sound about right?

Next year there will either be NO party or a trip to theatre with 4 of his friends and that's it.

Way too much stress.

OP posts:

Eggrules · 27/04/2012 16:09

If you haven't invited the whole class then I think it's fine to leave out 4 boys. It could be a good idea to see how the little boy you think may be causing trouble behaves.

ShowOfHands(except one who we can't invite) - nosy, why?

I think all boys or all girls parties are ok.

Original poster

giveitago · 27/04/2012 16:36

Oh that little boy has issues with everyone and everyone with him. He's just a kid though.

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sunnyday123 · 27/04/2012 18:20

so has everyone been invited out the class except 4 boys i.e all the girls?? if the only people out of the class not invited are 4 boys then i def think you should invite them. If some girls have missed out too then okay but i dont see how you can invite the whole class and leave out only 4!!!

Original poster

giveitago · 27/04/2012 18:26

No no sunny - his class is about 30 kids and about 15 are girls and 15 are boys. He's invited 8 girls and then about 10 boys (so 11 including him).
I'm worried about the boys only.

This is not necessarily a class event as he has 10 friends from out of school coming. Big party (against my better judgement!).

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sunnyday123 · 28/04/2012 09:15

ah i see- that sounds fine then - i wouldnt worry :)

betterwhenthesunshines · 28/04/2012 09:38

Have you sent the invites already? If not, I'd probably go the other way and invite fewer boys. That way it's genuinely half the class rather than the majority coming and a few left out IFSWIM. Otherwise for the sake of 4 extra children (some of whom won't be able to come anyway) I'd go for all the boys and run for the hills

3LittleHens · 28/04/2012 18:54

It's a tricky one given the sheer size of your son's class, and it must be a constant problem for the other parents as well when it's their turn to organise a party! However, how would your son/you feel if he was one of four boys being left out?

My son is in a reception class of 10, and two boys (one being my son) were not invited to a recent party. I thought it was quite ignorant and mean of the mother, and I will invite all of them (8 boys + 2 girls) when it's my son's birthday. However, I do appreciate it's such a low number compared to you and without meaning to sound patronising I think it's great you're giving it some thought. Good Luck!!

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