Feel so sad that DD1 is starting school in September

[peppasmyfriend]

Just wondered if it is just me, or is anyone else dreading their little ones starting school.....I know im probably just being really silly, but i feel like im giving her away!!

Yeah it is the end of a really special part of life. I was sad too but there are lots of lovely things that come with growing up children. Infant school children are a delight- learning to read can be a wonderful discovery for example.
No real advice but just wanted to say- yeah me too.

Thanks i know we'll just get on with it, and obviously i would never let her know how i feel, i didnt settle well at school, and am trying to be very positive about it with her..

You don't have to send her to school you know.

I'm dreading it too. I didn't have a great time at school, and feel nervous of what's to come for DS as he's exactly like me. I'm trying not to show it though.

Me too. Very shy summer born boy, who is finds it challenging that I leave him for 3 half days at nursery. I can't see him being too happy about 5 full days come september, he is just a too shy and separation anxious still. The frustrating thing is that it is starting to come, and if he was born earlier in the school year and had say an extra 6 months to mature I think that he would find it much less of a struggle. He won't have a problem with behaving and concentrating on activities in class, but socially and emotionally just not ready.

Can't send later in the school year as no one does it round here, so would be the only one. And part time also frowned upon. So either home school (feels a step too brave for me), or lump it I think. Had pondered moving to somewhere where they start school later but it means too much upheaval, so just not do-able.

You are not alone, I feel totally gutted that he is off to school. I think I would still be sad at 'losing him' even if I felt he was ready, but I just feel distraught that he has to go before he is ready just because our country has a definite age cut off for year groups.

Aw, I really understand.... but you should all be so excited.... DS1 (not 5 till july) started last September, and has had the most wonderful year. He has started to be really quite good at reading, comes back and tells us things he's learned, absolutely loves his teacher. I wish I could have read this post a year ago when I was so nervous about it all!

Me too.

DD on the other hand is desperate to go!! She thinks she is already in reception as she goes to the nursery school attached to the infant school and there is building work going on so the nursery kids are in the brand new reception class atm.

DD is my youngest and it will be the end of me having a child at home But I do think starting school is the best thing for her, just not for me

I'm a bit nervous, but not sad.
Very excited for him, but then I don't really have any worries about whether he is ready or how he will cope.
He was ready a year ago!!

Don't worry, it will be great!

I was sad last year too, can I reassure you though, it has been a lovely year, my son has loved his school and learned so much and made some lovely friends as have I. I have surprisingly really enjoyed too having that time to myself and working more hours without having to worry about the cost of childcare. Totally wasn't how I thought I would feel this time last year, I was dreading it, but in fact his first year at school has been brilliant x

Im not the best person to comment as Ive been home schooling ds3 and am dreading the thought that hes now 'thinking' about secondary school in Sept.

However having worked in schools and reception and nursery mostly- Sept is lovely,all these new little faces,all that learning to do and its great when you see a little one rush outside to greet his mummy or drag his mummy in to show the teacher something and you just realise that you in a way are part of an extended family,a lot of my 'babies' from the nursery still come and see me.

Its another stage of development for them,remember when they learnt to walk? you encouraged them,your back would ache from bending over to help them,and when they did it,it was great!! they were walking!!
Schools like walking....and those dc that are blessed enough to have Mums and Dads who love them so much they are reluctant to let them go to school are the ones who are building them up to be good 'walkers' at school.

The time when you know youve cracked it will be when you get to school and they dash off,leaving you stood with other Mums exactly the same......thats when you know your child is happy - and if you cant be happy at 4 when can you be?

It wont come easily,there will be tears (yours and theres) but there tears for what you had not what youve 'lost' cos that little person is coming home to you every night.....and term times mean that theres frequent holidays so you can plan lots of stuff to do.

Its like a fresh new page waiting for the next chapter to be written.

I empathise, my third DC is starting in September too. I worry less for him than I did with his brother though, as he is much more confident and can stand for himself, despite having some health issues.

For me, despite the pangs of seeing him off to school, I feel it is a bit of a turning point. I have had the combination of 3 young children at home and 1 at school, then 2 at school, 2 at nursery and I see the 1 child at home and 3 at school as a bit of a turning point in our lives. I will be able to spend more quality time with my youngest child and I think my third child will benefit from being with his older siblings in a more "structured" environment.

They do change quite a bit in that reception year, and more often than not it is a very positive experience. Good luck to us all!!!

peppasmyfriend I could have written your post. I too feel as though they're not ours once they start at school. But like you and all the others I will embrace it and tell DS what a wonderful thing it will be :)

It's a big change, so it's totally understandable to feel sad. But do try very hard not to transmit your sadness - or your anxieties about your own schooling. It's so easy to assume that your child will have the same experience that you did and it can become a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy.

It might also help to add up how much time they will still have with you. School is only 30 hours per week, for about 36 weeks per year. You will still have masses of time with her and she will bring home all sorts of new friends, experiences and bits of knowledge that you can enjoy together. And she'll need you to help her make sense of all those new experiences. (Get ready to play "schools" where she is the teacher and you are the 4yo )

You are still going to be hugely the most important person in her life, for years to come.

I'm sad at the time slipping by but personally I can't wait for September. My DD is summer-born but thriving at pre-school and she hates her preschool day ending at 12. September can't come sooner as far as she's concerned.

And I'm looking forward to the extra childfree hours to work more.

I cried buckets that morning. And the next morning I went shopping, in shops I hadn't dared enter since the sticky finger stage, and had my hair done in a relaxed manner. And a month later I set up my business, which eight years later is flourishing.

I am quite excited about DD1 starting school in Sept, she is starting to read and write at pre-school, and the thought of her coming home and telling me everything she has learnt that day will be so exciting.

As a child I loved being at school, and I loved it when my parents showed interest in my school day, so I am hoping for the same for DD1. I'll probably cry buckets when DD2, my little baby, starts school next year though

I am also going to enquire about being a school helper, as I'll be on maternity leave with DC3 then, so it'll be a great opportunity to see her new grown-up self in action.

It's the start of an exciting new chapter for them :)

This time last year, I felt exactly the same way, OP. As soon as the letter arrived confirming DS's place at the local primary, I felt nothing but dread - he's too young, he might not settle, what if he doesn't make friends, what if his teacher doesn't understand him and his quirks, what if the other children make fun of him, what if what if what if...

Needless to say, my fears were absolutely groundless. He settled like a dream, had a little group of friends within the first couple of weeks and a huge circle of friends by half term, plays and shares nicely, goes off cheerful and comes home chattering, his teachers are really pleased with him as an individual and with his progress 'academically' (so far as it goes in Reception!) and he's happy as larry. Yesterday he sauntered off for the first day of the summer term, excited about what their new topic would be, about seeing his friends after the holiday and more importantly, what would be for lunch because 'it's nicer food at school, mummy'

Enjoy from now until September - in retrospect, I wish I'd embraced it earlier and not given myself such a hard time about how my PFB would cope - complete waste of energy!

Completely echo what spider said. When I think of the progress ds has made since September, not only academically but also socially and developmentally it is quite amazing.

Thankyou for all the positive comments and reasurrance, and so glad its not just me!

Oh dear. Am outing self as a crap mummy. Was I really the only one who was glad of a bit more freedom and less responsibility on a daily basis? It helped that Ds loved school from day one.

Drseuss I wasn't even at home with him before hand. I worked full time from when ds was nine months.

You're not crap btw.

I'm with you DrSeuss. I'll be having a great time once DS is settled at school.

DrSeuss I think it's easier if your child likes school. I'm looking forward to my DD going precisely because I think she'll love it. And the free time!

My ds started yesterday (summer born, so will be 4 in July - many of his class were 4 not long after the year started). It is school nursery but full time - not much difference between the work they do and that in the reception class.

I was dreading it. So much more so than dd who started at the same age. But he was amazing and loved it and is clearly so much more mature than i thought. I was worrying all day but he was fine.

he went to preschool 3 mornings a week previously and never loved it t all - so i am so happy that the whole structured school thing seems to appeal to him more. Plus his entire life he has seen his sister go to school so thinks it is such a BIG boy thing to do:)

I keep getting a bit sad at the end of an era issues - and as he is my 2nd (last) it is a total end of an era. But them i remind myself that it is a new chapter for all of us. he is starting a brilliantly exiting school life, I will take this term to regroup - do mammoth sorting, then will need to get back into work (I currently only work on evening a week) which will be a challenge for us all but should help with finances and with me getting my life in order after almost 10 years home with children!

Hi peppasmyfriend

It is hard - very hard on the parents - but for the children it can be an adventure, a chance to make all sorts of discoveries (educational, personal, social, emotional).

I'm not thrilled about the teaching of 'the three r's' at our school and have some real issues with low standards - but school can be fun, exciting and enjoyable! For the children it's all new - new people, new equipment and new things to do.

I know it can be very hard - but try and focus on the discovery side of things and enjoy that process with your child. Learning to read, learning phonetic sounds, learning to count to 100 and then back again, learning to count by 2 or by 5s or 10s. All these very early skills are great.

Class R is usually not terribly formal - it is often an extension of life as known in nursery and at least in my corner of England, most classes do welcome a lot of parent involvement. Make the time to come along to reading morning, afternoon workshops, maths days, assemblies, field trips and other events. But also accept that you're entering that phase of helping them to grow up. Fortunately it's a long process.