Behaviour problems in reception

[Clare123]

my ds is the youngest in the class. He is very hyper at home and at school. The teacher said she thinks it is because he is very young, but acknowledges his behaviour does stand out to the other kids. (He has lots of silly behaviour that can cause accidents, not listen and general hyperness). Because of his behaviour she said he is not getting the most out of learning and although it's not a problem yet, she wants us to focus on his reading more at home. (he is still on the pink band ORT). She said that she is going to try a few more techniques to help him focus - sticker charts etc and we are going to meet next week.

What else can we do to help? O you think the school should be seeking outside help? Is there anything you can say that might he?

I'm so very worried :-(

Try omega, zinc & magnesium. For some kids they make a huge difference.

I'm trying it already. On week 2 of giving it to him. No difference as yet...how long does it take?

Don't panic. Boys have a testosterone surge at 4 to 4 and a half, and I bet you're well and truly in the middle of it!

I remember ds1's class in reception. The youngest child was a boy, who struggled to settle or concentrate, and always seemed to be in trouble. By the time he was in year 1, he was fine.

I have two boys, and we went through this at nursery. I found cutting right back on television, and lots of attention with quite activities helped. Not just reading, but board games, Lego, even building train sets. It will pass.

Which brand of omega are you giving? They vary hugely in how effective they're likely to be.

Vegapa omega 3, but I've just seen they do EPA 90. Which ones do you give your child?

Vegepa is the right one.

Have you tried Zinc & Magnesium as well?

They worked amazingly well for HolyCalamityJane - but that doesn't mean it will work well for your child. Does mean (IMO) that you should give it a go, and see if it helps your child or not.

I don't know how long it should take. I guess I'd give up after about 12 weeks / 1 bottle :)

Do you think it is ADHD or something like that? Or do you think it is more likely to be a temporary testosterone surge? I mean have you always had concerns, or are your concerns new?

It's unusual for a teacher to say his behaviour stands out. They tolerate an awful lot before they talk like that.

If it is ADHD it's very likely he's deficient in zinc and magnesium. I think studies show something like 98% of kids with ADHD are deficient in it. Therefore the supplements do often help......

But there is a certain amount of trial and error to find the right supplements and the right dosage......

Yes,

My DS is in reception and for the first term his behaviour stood out. He was rude to the teacher and disobedient. He was very distractable and I think very much all of the place at times.

I started giving him Vegepa, magnesium and zinc and floradix for the B vitamins in December. We noticed a difference within about a week, I think. The teacher noticed it a few weeks later.

Since giving the supplements DS is never in trouble and the teacher is really pleased with his behaviour. When I talk to DS about it he says that when he was a baby and started school he used to hit people and now he is a good boy ...

I give DS2 eyeQ omega fish oils (also high EPA, but not as high as vegepa) and I saw an improvement after about 6 weeks. The first few weeks it was advised to give a triple dose. That was too many for him to manage, but I gave him a bit extra, 3 rather than 2 capsules. He was nearly 5 yo.

Brings back memories.

Aug born DS took a while to settle in Reception. He was only little and I think was just overwhelmed by the whole thing. He always said that the day was too long!

A patient teacher, firm but fair boundaries at school and at home and time to be a 4 year old all helped turn the situation around.

Scroll forward to y4 and he is almost a model citizen - works hard, plays hard and understands that actions have consequences. Loves to read too.

No supplements required!

Hang in there.

Raisen - but did your teacher ever express concerns to you, and tell you there was a problem?

Or did the teacher think your DS was acting appropriately for his age?

They are two very different scenarios.

The concern here is not that he's hyperactive - but that compared to other 4/5 year olds his behaviour stands out as bad. A teacher would not say that unless they were very concerened.

I know I'm thinking it could possibly ADHD, but there are anamolies to his behaviour. He loves books and sleeps really, can sit up nicely at the table at times etc. The teacher said she didn't think it was, as he does sit and do lovely work at times, but then she also said it's too young to get a diagnosis anyway. :-( She said she thought it was because he is young for his age.

If there's a possibility it's ADHD or one of the related conditions (Aspergers, dyspraxia etc) then the absolute first thing to start with is supplements and vegepa.

Keep him on the vegepa. Add zinc & magnesium. And also B6 and B12 ( find a general multivitamin that contains these)

Then look at his diet.

He needs protein at every meal - especially breakfast. Something like eggs or bacon or sausages or baked beans.

As far as possible cut out sugar, artificial sweeteners and additives.

Don't let him live off carbs. He needs to snack on fruit or protein not carbs.

Try that for a few weeks and see if it helps.

If it doesn't help I have loads more suggestions (of things which have worked for my 3 kids). But diet and supplements is the right place to start.

Feel free to PM me.

Sleeps really well!

Oh, and the teacher is wrong about him being too young for a dx.

However, if you and school are aware he has problems, a dx won't help very much at this stage. So it's fine up either ask a paed what they think, or to wait.

You won't get any extra support or money or help with a dx. All you'll get is a label which you can research. Which is useful.

Sorry, I shouldn't have been so rude about your teacher

In general you can get a dx for ADHD at his age. But it is possible where you live it's very hard to do so.

Dx's (like most things) are certainly a postcode lottery.

It is possibly your teacher knows a lot about ADHD - its also possible she knows nothing. It's not part of her job or her training to know about ADHD in detail.

Yes IndigoBell they are different scenarios, but online dx of ADHD, ADD, Aspergers etc to worried parents are not helpful, nor is recommending supplements that in some cases may be contra-indicated.

The OP said that teacher thought behaviour was because her son was very young. This rang a bell with me.

I can only put forward my own experience which is that my DS grew out of it.

If OP is worried that her 4 year old's behaviour is way outside the norm for his age then, might I suggest, she approach her GP and have a proper meeting with the Foundation Stage leader and SENCO.

Oh and growing boys need Carbs!!!

RaisenBoys - I have not diagnosed anything.

Supporting a worried parent is far more helpful then telling her not to worry.

I know this, because I have been there - 3 times. And every time someone tells me 'not to worry' it made it harder for me to get help for my child

Everyone needs carbs - I said 'don't live off them'. Because many kids with these types of problems only eat carbs, and it's a real problem. Eating an excessive amount of carbs is not good for anyone.

Lucky you still having faith in your Foundation Stage Leader, SENCO and GP. My experience is that none of them were remotely good at picking up SEN. Not even the SENCO. My experiences is of 3 kids with SEN and 3 schools. So while a fairly limited sample, still enough for me to know that every single person in a school can fail your child

If you child doesn't have SEN, you probably don't understand how truly dire SEN provision often is. If your child does have SEN and you've experienced good support - you've been very, very lucky.

In what scenario would supplements, aimed at children, that you can buy from boots be contra-indicated?

In our area he would be too young for a diagnosis. They won't give hardly any statements or diagnoses before 7yo. And nowadays they are unlikely to get any extra funding, what's worse.
He sounds rather normal to me, OP. Does he get plenty of exercise?

ADHD kids if they can focus it tends to be hyper-focus, to the exclusion of anything else. They don't multi-task or may get very stressed out if required to, say, chat & work at the same time.

Support thread for parents of over-active boys, OP.

On a more basic level - how is is hearing and eyesight? maybe worth getting checked.

How is he is other group activities - eg gymnastics class (or whatever activity he does) - is it just school or all activities he has these issues.

IndigoBell I have absolutely no idea re. contra-indications. That is why I would consult my GP to check before giving them to my child.

Who said "don't worry"? Not I. Of course the OP is worried - I have not said in my posts that she shouldn't worry.

I understand the limitations of SEN provision extremely well and the challenges that parents face in getting accurate dx, support and funding.

Indeed as you posit, I am very very lucky.

Good luck OP. I hope you get any help you need.

Thank you all for your replies. I appreciate all perspectives and advice, and have taken on them on board. I'm trying to get him out much more after school. He likes to come home as he is tired, but actually he does need a run around for an hour.

I've also cut out all e-numbers, sweet treats and giving him omega supplements.

As for ADHD, I think we will wait and see a little while longer before we try to get some official help.

Thank you once again xxx

For what it's worth, not all e-numbers are "bad things". There are some that have been linked to behaviour and mood, but very few. The rest are just your bog standard chemical additives. Oxygen has an e-number. So does gold. And seaweed extract.

My ds1 has similar probs, now in Y1. He is also described as 'young' (though he is not as a Nov bday). He's not like this at home though, so think there's more to it than a pure over-active child syndrome. I think his is more anxiety based. Just keep an eye and see if it settles or not. He is now Term 5 of Y1 and not settling down, so we're taking it further.

SunScorch - you are right not all E-Nums are bad.

What's Really in Your Basket tells you which are, and which aren't.

Lots of games and activities that encourage problem solving, cooperation and concentration will help also in terms of developing these skills - eg board games, jigsaws, craft, puzzles etc