2 DCs at 2 different primary schools ...?? Experience/words of wisdom needed please!

[MrsMcEnroe]

I'll keep this as brief as I can.

My 2 DCs currently attend a local private primary school because neither of them were allocated places at any of our 3 choices of state primary. DS is in Y3 and DD is in YR (there was a shortfall of over 300 Reception places in our town this time last year, and apparently it's even worse this year). We moved into the area towards the end of DS' Reception year, which is why no state school places were available. Our only option at the time was to send him to a private school and go on the waiting lists for state schools.

3 years after joining the waiting lists and FINALLY a place has come up at a very good local junior school. It's not our catchment school (which is really, really awful) but it is only 1 mile from our house and it is wonderful. It has fantastic SEN provision, and DS is dyslexic. At his current school we have to pay for additional SEN tuition on top of the fees. And he only gets half an hour per week. It's not enough. We try to do extra with him at home but he HATES it and really needs it to be done within a school environment.

I don't know whether to send him to the new school or not! I'm worried sick about the school fees, but I'm also worried sick about DS' happiness. There's nothing wrong with his current school but the new one is so much more geared up to meet his needs. But how on earth do I get 2 kids to 2 schools 2 miles apart at the same time each morning, and pick them up at the same time each day??!! What do others do? Do the kids take it in turns to go to breakfast club / afterschool club?

Any experience/advice/wisdom please? (And sorry - this wasn't brief at all!).

I would accept the place for DS. Is there a linked infants' school that you could put DD on the waiting list for (assuming they don't a place available)? Presumably she'd take priority on the waiting list for having a sibling at the linked juniors.

Hi, thanks for answering! Yes there is a linked infants' school but we are not in catchment. When I spoke to the LEA yesterday they told me that, even with the sibling preference, DD would be number 21 on the waiting list. And this is a VERY popular school - people hardly ever leave. We can only really count on her going there in Year 3, which means more than 2 years of split school runs etc .... that's my dilemma.

i would move him as it sounds better for him and for you all financially. You can then get DD on the waiting list too for a place- you should even appeal for a y3 place for her as schools can go over 30 in year 3 and with a sibling i would have thought you'd have a good chance.

Thus, even if you have to do 2 school runs, you may only do it for 2 years. Ask the school, the liklihood of success at Y3. I face this next year with my 2 dds (results come monday!). I plan to use wrap around care like breakfast/after school clubs - which even if you have to pay to use will still have saved you a fortune!

sorry x posts!

I plan on moving dd2 at year 3 so have 2 school runs for 3 years! Not looking forward to it - just thinking of it like school/nursery etc!

@ sunnyday

That's a good point. I used to do school & nursery drop-off without turning a hair. I hadn't thought of it in those terms.

I think I'm feeling guilty that DS will still have an association with his old school and old friends due to DD still attending the old school, and he will inevitably go there with me when dropping off/picking up DD, and I worry that this will make things difficult for him - ie. he won't have "closure" if that makes sense?

yes that does make sense - but he could still maintain those links through play days etc and 2 years (i hope!) will go quickly.

Are there 21 siblings waiting for a place in 1 single year group or do they give other things priority?

Does the school expect a lot of Y3 appeals?

you could always put ds in wrap around care to limit his contact at the old school!

There are 21 children ahead of DD on the waiting list in her year group alone - some of those live in catchment but are not siblings, and the remainder are siblings who live closer to the school than we do. It's awful isn't it?! This time last year, when YR places were allocated, was total carnage. Many, many families didn't get any of their 3 chosen schools, and were allocated schools 5 or more miles away.

Yes, the wraparound care might well be the way to go actually. I'd only need it for 15 minutes or so at each end of the day, so DS wouldn't feel that he was missing out or neglected (both of which have been issues for him in the past when i went back to work).

maybe the ones in catchment are on the list but wouldn't actually take up the place if offered - I can understand moving a child if you have a sibling but less so if not? I would find out how much chance you have of getting in at Y3 - luckily Y3 appeals go on your reasons for selecting school, not admission criteria order so having a sibling may be more favourable than living in catchment and having no sibling.

In my area, no school had ever separated siblings, last year dds school was the first to do it (7 kids affected). Was such a shock it made the papers :) Looking the same for next year and we are 'out of parish sibling'. I expect to be very near the top of the waiting list though as all parish got in last year and the LEA said it looks similar. (still dont expect to get in in sept as there was no movement on list last year at all)

It is also really only for just over three years, maximum, as then he will be going to secondary. Also here children can go to and from school on their own from summer half term when they are in yr5, some schools allow it earlier. It might be more independence than he would otherwise have, but one solution. Although she might be 21st, people might be on the list, but happy in their school and won't actually accept if offered.

Yes, those are all good points. I am keen to give DS as much independence as possible and I would certainly be happy for him to walk/cycle to school in Y5 .... he's bound to have made some friends by then (!!) who he can meet up with on the way ....

Also good point re people on the waiting list not taking up the places. I'm hoping that we will get DD in to the infant school within the next year. The junior school have said that they "guarantee" that she will get in at Y3 so that is very positive .

I need to stop worrying and get a grip, don't I?!

Think you've talked yourself into the move- great! I would definitely go for it and work out the best way of handling the double school run. One option could be DS going with someone else (childminder or friend?) 3 days a week and DD going with someone 2 days (as she's younger). Similar on pick ups? That's if doing them both yourself is too stressful.

Also your DS is old enough to talk to reasonably about the move and think if handled well shouldn't be a problem him still having contact with old school. Especially if you explain it's the plan that your DD goes to his new school as well and he is very lucky he can go first and hopefully she can go very soon- and you make him aware of all the advantages of new school.

Good luck!

Aw thanks. I'm taking DS (and DD) to look round the new school tomorrow, with a view to DS starting there on Monday! I've bigged it up massively and told DD that if she's very lucky she'll get to go there in Y3 which DS thought was great. Thanks everyone.

Do the schools start at the same time? We did 1 1/2 years of 2 schools as the private started 30 mins earlier and had a 30 mins pick up time we never had the problem with who to collect first/last we took them to their school dd1 to her school collected dd1 and then went to get dd2 and ds in theirs.

It really wasnt much of a problem for 1 year of that I also did a nursery run for dd3.

If not put one in a breakfast club and the other in a afterschool club if they are available and you have it sorted.

Yes, they both finish at exactly the same time. The new school starts 5 minutes before the old one. The mornings I can manage as DD's school is quite flexible on start times! I will work out after-school clubs and alternate the DCs. The new school is so good and when we opened the offer letter I actually cried - we have been waiting 3 (very expensive) years for a school place! And to know that DD can also go there for Y3 - i.e. the same as DS - is absolutely brilliant.

Most schools will have a drop off time (in the primary ours are in it is 10 mins) so you will have 15 mins to get from one to the other. Sounds like it is doable [smiles] good luck

Our Junior school lets you drop off anytime between 8.30am and 8.50am, and, although collection is at 3.10pm, they can hang about on the playground for 15-20 minutes after that, or wait in the library. Your new primary may well be similarly flexible. It's do-able!

With 3DCs I have always had to juggle two schools - it's the norm as far as I'm concerned. The Infant, Junior and Secondary schools mine were/are attending are respectively 10, 4 and 6 miles away from where we live. A mega-steep rat-run hill means that cycling to school will never be an option for us, unfortunately.

You must go for it - it sounds perfect for your DS and your bank balance

I am a bit unclear. How would DD get a place in Y3 if she is so far down the waiting list for YR? I can see she might get in if you keep her on the waiting list for the linked infants especially as those without siblings not as likely to move schools. But are you sure she would definitely get in in Y3?

in Y3 schools can have classes over 30 so you can go to appeal. When appealing places are given based on the facts presented (not position on waiting list etc). Thus you can appeal with sibling link, convenience of both being in the same school etc etc and a panel may view those more sympathetically than someone living next door with no sibling link iyswim. Its a case of your case going against schools case but school case not as strong becasue there are no infant class size restrictions.

My dds school has 2 classes of 30 for R, Y1 and Y2 and by years 3-6 most classes have about 32-33 - thus potentially there are 6 more places free at Y3 - thus many lower priority siblings are given places then. In my DDs school, the school doesnt really put up much of a case against those appealing with siblings.

Ghoul - what sunnyday123 said, plus not every child from the infant school goes on to the junior school (some families move away, go to other schools in the area etc - it's not an automatic progression from one school to the other).

DS starts at the new school tomorrow. Fingers crossed!

P.S. Good luck for tomorrow sunnyday123 - hope you get a place for your 2nd DD at the same school as DD1

Thank you so much MrsMcEnroe!

I'm holding onto my 1% chance as long as i can!! I am prepared though for bad news- i have actually over prepared dd2 - despite being in the attached pre-school she doesn't even want to go to her sisters school !!! My second choice is where her friend goes so she's not bothered!

Also DD1 said she's quite happy for dd2 to go to another school as that means she can go to breakfast club and they offer chocolate spread on toast!

Not sure why us parents worry- seems the kids have their own priorities

22.2 hours to go!

Hope your DS enjoys his first day!

Thank you

We went to buy DS' school bag, pencil case, pens etc yesterday (I'm used to private schools where all that stuff is provided "free of charge" - ahem) so it was a novelty for DS and he really enjoyed it. He can't wait to get to school to use his new Sonic the Hedgehog pencil case ....

I was in your shoes a year ago. DD didn't get into any of the schools we'd chosen .... she was allocated a school several miles away. We would have had to drive past 3 other schools to get there. Madness.

I know what you mean - I was expecting DS to be up half the night worrying, such is his temperatment usually, but he's gone to sleep without a care in the world and is really excited about going to a new school. Maybe he didn't love the old school as much as he claimed to..???

Let me know how you get on tomorrow

MrsMcEnroe

Just to let you know we got 1st choice!!!!!! I actually can't believe it!!! I'm in shock and so embarrassed for going into school this morning and bursting into tears with the clerk as i was so worried!!!!

My dd1 was running round happy like me but DD2 burst into tears saying she wanted my 2nd choice!!! Think i over prepared her for another school!!!

So beyond happy

How did you DS get on today? Hope he had a good first day and made some nice friends :)

Oh wow sunnyday123 that is brilliant news!!

DS get on really well today thanks. Normally he's such a sensitive little soul but he has risen to the occasion and it is being very positive about everything. He's gone from a school with a total of 120 kids to a school with 120 kids in each year so it's a huge change for him. Hopefully he'll still be positive about it all tomorrow!

He is already asking to invite someone round after school so it must have gone well