Any tips for appealing?

[twolittlemonkeys]

From the title of the thread you may have guessed my son didn't get offered a place at his 1st (and only) choice school.

Here's the background:

His brother is currently in year 1 there and it would be a nightmare to move him as he is autistic and had a very rough start to school - asked to leave a school at Oct half term in reception, found an appropriate school several miles away from where we live by Christmas and he had a gradual start, building up to FT by just after Feb half term.

The nearest school to the one his brother attends is a good 10 minute drive away, plus all the time to get child into/out of school at beginning and end of the day means having them at 2 different schools would be impossible. Can't afford a childminder to drop off/pick one up.

Anyway that is just to give some background. I really need some suggestions for appealing to get him in. I plan to put on the form that if push comes to shove I will HEd until a place becomes available (I gather LEAs aren't too keen on the idea of HE!), but is there anything I can do to improve his chances of being moved up the waiting list or accommodated in the class?

FWIW DS1 was the 31st child in his class and now in yr 1 they have a class of 34 so despite the 'strict limit of 30 children in an infant class' there must be some exceptions made!

Schoolsnightmare you were so wrong :-( Ive just been to meet with the head to ask how they will deal with it etc and was told very matter of factly that " they will not promote of condone our family status!!!" im in utter shock OMG!!!! So its back to no school place for us at the moment but we are first on the waiting list at our other school!!! Weve sent in our appeal letters now too x Just trying to get through to admissions now to see if any other schools have places!

Mossity sorry they said they will not promote or condone?? Isn't that fine? It means they wont talk of it but nor will they tell you that your wrong? What ever you feel about the catholic faith (not trying to turn this into a faith debate) we know they are not pro same sex couples. But surely them saying this (or am I reading it wrong?) means they will be respectful of your family status but ask you to be respectful of their faith? (I am not catholic myself)

On another point if I did get it wrong you will be able to use it in the appeal that the school you want will be beneficial for your child because it is acceptant of all types of families something that is of importance to your child due to your family situation.

I think Frikadellen is confusing condone with condemn. Saying they will not condone means they will not accept or approve of mossity's family status. Depending on what that means in practise it could put the school in breach of the Equality Act.

ph I read it as meaning that they wont promote it but nor will they condone it. (yes got the right word ) the Catholic faith is fairly strict upon same sex couples I know. I read the comment to mean they would accept it but would not agree to promote it nor would they go against it openly. I think for a catholic school that seems fair. However it would very much depend on how it was delivered as if they said they wont promote and will condone then obviously it could cause issues.

I think I would ask the school for confirmation of their stance in writing and see what comes.
If it really is not good then it is actually a piece of evidence that you can use at appeal. Normally the school that you have been allocated would have no bearing on the appeal, but where a school is making it rather obvious that they do not want you, then it is a basis for saying that is not a school we would be comfortable in- it does not say you must go to your preferred school, only another school.
My bet would be that what they will put in writing is very different from what they might say to you verbally. So when you write to the school, it might be best if you say what your understanding of the conversation was and ask them to confirm that is their understanding. Undoubtedly you will get a reply which says you misunderstand what they were saying but at least you will have it in writing.

its not meant to be a faith debate and who knows how it was meant but i wasnt happy with how it was said and personally thought she meant it wasnt accepted in their school ... I explained to the head an example of how at nursery dd had to take in a photo of her and us which is on a display board with diff types of families and she basically said that would not happen there!!! So my question is how is this gonna impact on DD? she talks very openly about having 2 mommies and i dont see why she shouldnt. The school although catholic should surely still be valuing diversity and promoting equal ops but my dd would be excluded from such for having 2 mommies.
Im not religious myslef but did have a catholic education so realise they dont also agree with divorce etc... does this mean children born out of wedlock or with divorced parents would also be look at in such a way.
Frikadellen you say "It means they wont talk of it but nor will they tell you that your wrong?" why shouldnt they talk about it? Its important to DD that she should be able to talk about it... she would be there until she was 11 and we want her to be proud of who she is and where she comes from and that she has 2 mommies. Not have a poor self esteem due to their beliefs!
Ohhh why is nothing ever easy :-(

I disagree with Frikadellen's interpretation. Saying you will not promote or condone something does not in any way rule out speaking against it publicly.

Having said that, assuming the school won't talk about it, that doesn't necessarily mean that Mossity's daughter will not be allowed to speak openly about having 2 mummies. It does, however, raise questions as to how the school will react.

I agree with Admission that you should see what they put in writing so that you can use it as evidence for your appeal.

We have a place at our first choice school ... An so happy I cried down the phone to admissions. Whoop! X thanks for all your advice guys xxx

ohh Mossity I am so happy for you! I have been following your story and was so saddened by what the Chatholic school said to you, I took it the same was you did.
My children go to our local Village CofE school (no choice, next nearest school is over 2 miles and no safe walking route, good job it is an amazing school!) and in my dd's class there is a child with 2 Mums, it is seen as nothing out of the ordinary, the child talks freely of their family make up, the parents (and children) are very much part of the wider school community. It is honestly something that neither the children, staff, parents or vicar think twice about, it is seen as being (as it should be) exactly the same as a child talking of their Mummy and Daddy nothing more or less. It is so sad that there are people out there who don't see things this way and even sadder (and frightening to tell you the truth) that there are schools out there that don't see your family for what it is, just another family.
Anyway, so glad you have a place at a school where you and your dd can experience being part of a school community without the threat or feeling that other are judging you, especially those running the school, congratulations, you get what everyone else does without even thinking about it, so sad for humanity that (my positive sentence has gone astray, I am just so shocked by what was said to you, and hurt, and outraged :( )
Good luck and congratulations :)

Roadkill bunny... Thank you so much xxxx it's just a huge weight off my mind. Dd can also stay with the same childminder now which is another positive for a child who had five moves prior to adoption. Thanks again xx