DS told off by lunchtime assistant - for something he didn't do - wwyd?

[PiedWagtail]

Can't decide what to do here. I help in ds's class one pm every week. Today is the day. When I went in ds was in tears and teacher looked cross with him.

She told me he had been throwing stones at lunchtime and another child had got hurt. Ds very upset and said that grumpy lunchtime assistant had told him off for throwing stones, but that he had been standing holding a stone and hadn't thrown any.

His teacher didn't see incident but obv went by what the LA said. Now, wwyd? I am sure as I can be that ds is telling the truth.

Would you speak to the teacher/LA or just leave it, say that grown-ups get things wrong sometimes and forget about it? DS has a keen sense of fair play and was v upset to be told off when he hadn't done anything. WWYD??

DS didn't describe LA as grumpy - both he and my dd have both said in the past that she tells off children more than the other LAs.

Teacher didn't tell me directly that a child got hurt, she sort of mouthed it to me over the heads of all the children while they were sitting on the carpet. My ds said that nobody had got hit.

My 8yo dd saw it all too and said that ds didn't throw a stone.

Have told him that adults sometimes get it wrong; not to copy other people as he could get into trouble; to tell an adult if something bad is going on.

Think either dd or ds would have told me about it when they got home. I am upset about it because I don't like to think of ds being upset at school. Fair enough if he has done t=something wrong, then he shold be told off, but not if he hasn't!

This made me think about when I was at school and we used to have a dinner lady we nicknamed 'the black miss' as she was quite frankly a miserable cow. Years later my mum told me her husband had dropped dead and the police had to go into school to tell her.
Its amazing how you perceive things when you are at primary............

VonHerBurton- thank you! She does take my breath away sometimes. I have no idea where she gets it from- certainly not me!

Fair enough, but he WAS holding a stone. So not that surprising that someone thought he might be involved in the stone throwing that was taking place.

If he's holding a stone is is involved. The only question is how involved was he?

Lol at his friend giving him the stone to hold.

Back to my earlier comment.

He should have got a huge roasting for being involved with a friend who will drag him into situations where he will be implicated. So that he understands that whether he does something or not, he'll get into trouble if his friends do.

Next time, don't take the stone, and walk off.

Storm in a teacup.

I wouldn't be overly impressed if my ds had just been standing around when there was stone throwing either. At dcs' primary schools the message was very clearly that every child has the responsibility to get an adult if anyone is getting hurt or frightened- and it was quite clear that this involved any potentially dangerous situation as well. On a slight tangent, I think that's why there was so little bullying: even the bullies knew their friends wouldn't back them up.

Cory- he was 'just standing around" holding a stone.......

OP I think you need to treat this as a life lesson for your child.

If anyone is doing anyhting wrong, you walk away! Preferably tell an adult!

This way you don't find yourself a few years down the line being told your child was only watching while someone was being bullied. Or was only in the shop while someone shop lifted a sweet.

I have always told my DC to distance themselves from wrongdoers. This is an ideal example to show your child how and why.