DS loves pre-school - due to start Reception in Sept 2012 - how do you prepare them?

[curiousparent]

My DS is due to start reception in Sept 2012 - as yet unsure which school as allocations not yet done.

He absolutely LOVES pre-school. On a couple of occassions they have gone to the attached primary school as the primary school have used the pre-schools large hall for events and DS has not liked it. He has on several occassions said afterwards - I am going to my pre-school aren't I mummy and not the other school?

We do not think (well we hope) that it won't be the attached school that he goes to because although it is rated outstanding and is very good there is another school that will probably suit him better - and it is also closer to us.

How do you prepare them for leaving the pre-school that they love to start at school, particularly if they are unlikely to have many of their current friends at the new school?

I was thinking of telling him pretty soon after the allocations (although if we don't get the school we now want we intend to go on the waiting list) and then letting him see on the calendar this time going by - but is that the right thing to do?

Anyone else had this/or have any ideas?

I think the long summer holidays helps them forget pre-school, in a good way iyswim, as it is then not such a drastic immediate change. Also not going on to much about NEW & BIG school, try not to make it sound daunting and scary. You are lucky that you have two good schools that he may go to, just see what the decision is and take it from there. Don't talk to him about first and second choice schools, it will make no sense to him at all, more confusing. Also remember that if you don't get what you want, don't panic, people drop out for many reasons, moving, going private, wanting second choice, so if your first choice is full up, it might not be the case after a couple of weeks. When you do know a final choice, walk past the school a few times over the summer hols, make him familiar with it, try on the uniform.

DS2 started in reception in September, he was with some friends and there were some totally new children, and honestly after a few weeks they were all fine and settled. This one little girl sobbed everyday for a week, he poor parents were beside themselves, but she the just loved school and now bounces in every day.

Most stagger the start for reception children eg: a week of mornings then a week of afternoons, something like that, so they get used to it in smaller doses.

I think the calendar thins is a bad idea, makes too much of a big deal of it all, countdown too much! Just enjoy the Summer, talk about school, how much you and Daddy liked it, what fun things they will do etc etc.

They are so cool about it, while the parents are in bits. I had to sob in Costa on his third day, he was my last child to start school (Have older DS1) and it was a momentous thing for me. He loves school and has already packed his book bag for when he starts back on Monday after the Easter hols!

Talk up any new opportunities in big school. Whatever they have that preschool doesn't. Point out his friends are moving on, too.

I wouldn't mention it again until July, though, if he's that bothered.

I took DS to the school fete in the summer term before he started - that was really helpful. He got to see the playground and field, which really helped on his first day. Also buying his uniform helped.

I wouldn't mention it too much though at this stage but start to talk about it more over the summer holidays.

My DS hated nursery and cried every day - over the long holiday we spent loads of time together and read books about school and talked about all the things he would enjoy there

First day we had prepped the teacher that she may need to hold him back wailing! On the day he just waved good bye and went to play!

I wouldn't make a big deal of it but once you know where he's going just casually mention it when you walk past the school etc

The school should arrange a time for him to visit - I wouldn't tell him until nearer the time - and certainly not until you know what school he is going to

Thanks all, appreciate your responses.

caro perhaps didn't explain the calendar too well, wasn't thinking of marking it off day by day from now more sort of when we tell him he is going to a new school but I can see what you say about it being quite intense.

The thing is they do a leavers ceremony at pre-school so I suppose nearer the time and when he sees which school he is going to I will start to introduce him to the idea.

Hi curiousparent

several things. First off you should generally be preparing your DS for the idea that he'll be going somewhere new.

When the letter arrives and if it is your first choice (and you're happy about all that) - then let your DS see the letter and read it to him.

[If it is second choice don't panic - people move, don't take up offers, etc... - so contact first choice, play dumb and say you don't know how the system works and ask where you are on the waiting list. Our school is very understanding about this and often tells parents if they're near the top and likely to get a place. You don't have to accept a place immediately (there is a deadline) - so may be worth hanging tight for a few weeks and seeing what happens, especially if you're high up the wait list for 1st choice school].

So letter arrives and you're DS now knows he's going to school. Usually as part of this the school will arrange an interview (at home sometimes/ sometimes just at school) with parents to find out more about each DC coming. Ask your nursery school if they have prepared a handover pack for the school - it is very helpful to pass on their EYFS observations to the new teachers as this helps them better understand where your DC is at.

Sometimes this visit will also invite your DC to come along - usually a TA will be doing various exercises with your child (can you pick out your name, can you count up to 10, etc....) whilst you're discussing your DC with the teacher.

There sometimes will also be visit mornings for the incoming pupils toward the end of this school year.

The rest is pretty much as caro describes and EssieW is correct - the school fete/ fair is a great way of seeing the school in a very relaxed way, with Mum/ Dad right there for reassurance.

Look out for starting school stories at the library/ book shops. Dumpy at School (by Emma Walton Hamilton) is a family favourite - all about being nervous and settling in. Lauren Child's Charlie & Lola book: I'm absolutely too small for school. Harry and the dinosaurs go to school (from bucket full of dinosaurs tv programme) by Ian Whydbrow and Aidrian Reynolds.

Forgot to say the hardest bit is keeping happy and cheerful about it all in front of your DS.

This is a real milestone for Mums and Dads, their little baby is a proper child now.

But usually the children just take it all in their stride - it's the Mums and Dads that struggle.

So work hard to be excited and happy for your DC, even if it isn't your first choice school it doesn't mean it won't turn out to be a great experience for your DC.

I haven't mentioned it to my daughter at all.

Pastsellbydate thanks for your thoughts - that is along the lines of what I was thinking I should be doing....

I was intending to see which school we got allocated (just to make it slightly more complicated actually want 2nd place now and not 1st ) and so if we do scrape it into the 1st place school will go on wait list for 2nd.

So I was intending on generally letting him know that soon he'll start going to school and then when we get the notifications if it is the school we want to let him know more about it then but if we get a different school to wait and find out how far we are up on wait list (to assess likelyhood of getting 2nd) and if it looks like we'll get 2nd by being on wait list then we'll wait and tell him once we know where he will be going. Wow that sounded complicated!

We need to start a "support for Sept 2012 school starters" thread soon. I'm about to send my youngest & last off, will be very strange :)!
I haven't explained anything to DS yet, not until school visits in June, I reckon.

ragged great idea :)

Similar to you my ds also LOVES his pre-school and says often that he doesn't want to leave. Although allocations aren't out we are in the enviable position of knowing he will be going to the village school which is sister also attends. He has been in and out of the school on a daily basis since he was 18 months old, LOVES the reception class room and idolises his sister wanting to do everything she does yet still he says he doesn't want to go up to school and wants to stay at pre-school forever!
I am really quite worried about his transition to school which is new to me as although dd was younger when she went (she is end of May he is Start of March birthday) she was so ready for it and couldn't wait. He has a large speech delay due to bilateral glue ear from the ages of 1 to 3.5 so his speech is poor, he is only just starting to put sentences of more then 2 or 3 words together and what he can say is very unclear and lacks annunciation. My dd also has speech problems for totally different reasons but her speech was much better at this age and could make her needs understood quite well, it is very different for ds and pre-school are also concerned about the transfer to school, they had no such concerns when dd transferred. Then there is the issue of maturity and social skills, with dd there were no such concerns and she was ahead of her age in thoe regards but ds not so, he struggles to contain his frustration with making himself understood and can lash out although this is becoming more unusual. He doesn't really have any special friends, he is now starting to make friends so progress is happening and his pre-school friends will be going to the same school (although he gets on better with younger children and they still have a year of pre-school to go).
So all in all I am worried and not sure what if anything I can do to make it easier for him, we are working hard at self dressing, toileting thankfully isn't a problem and we are doing all the speech therapists asks using the experiences with dd to hep build a therapy programme we use at pre-school as well as home. The school is fantastic, we are so very, very lucky to have a village school that not only has the best Ofsted and leuge table results in the county but is also a warm, happy school with great teachers and an ethos that crates a great home school partnership. The reception teacher is fantastic and will work with us all the way but there are limitations, he wont be able to access the in school speech therapy until Y1 so that will mean lots of having to miss school to go to therapy, I remember how tough this was with dd, Even though the reasons are good, it's the best thing for ds and will help ensure his speech doesn't continue to effect his learning I m still sad that the first thing that will happen on his starting school is to be slapped on the SEN register with an IEP.
Sorry, kind of hijacked, writing it all down has just highlighted to me how worried I am, I look forward to my meeting with the reception teacher but in the mean time if anybody could offer any advice, experiences or other places I could be looking for help for ds I would really love to hear them. (really sorry for the very long post and the hijack OP!)