DS has no IEP! First time in about 2 years

[OrmIrian]

He's on target for maths - hoo-bloody-ray!
His reading is well above average (that was never really a problem though).
His writing is more legible but slow - he needs to practice writing faster though. And as she says, when he's one day completing his doctorate on bivalves or the permian exticntion, he can use a computer to type it up

She tells us his comprehension, vocab, sentence structure, knowledge are all outstanding and now she can actually read what he writes it's more obvious!

He's still quiet in class but does contribute more.

Phew! Could have kissed her..but she has a tendency to look a little bit like a younger version of Her Maj, so I don't think she's have appreciated it.....

Well done little Orm.

Lovely story. Thanks for sharing.

Thanks indigo. I think you kindly responded to me when I was in a bit of a panic last year.

Great news! Any secrets to share on whats helped?

Wish I did lifes! I'd write a book and make a fortune ...

As the teacher pointed out (and as we have said to every previous teacher he has had) DS2 does things in his own sweet time. He was late to read but now has a reading age ahead of most of the class. he was late to draw anything other than squiggles but now he draws the most intricate and imaginative pictures. Dh always said that he'd get there. I always knew it in my heart but got scared when term after term he was struggling with the basics and nothing we could say or do helped him in the slightest. And his behaviour took a dip too. And then his yr 2 SATS were way below where they should be I worried even more - as did the school - at least that was when he started to have serious one-to-ones and extra help. But his current teacher is old school though and I suspect if asked would say' SATS SCHMATS!'

I am so pleased for him I could shout!

OrmIrian, thats brilliant news. Im currently going through this with my ds3. He's 5 (yr1) birthday not till end of july. He's so quiet at school and says he has to be good. He's making progress (lots at home, his sentences are really coming on and he loves reading together) but the progress is slow at school. He's been on Stage 3 reading books since Oct. I worry that with 30 children, apparently all low ability, the teacher and TA dont have the time to give to them all. I do worry for him but dh says he'll be fine.

Thanks sals. If he's progressing at home he's probably doing OK and if reading is your main concern it's easy to practice with him. Yr 1 is very early days. Have you spoken to the teacher?

yep, at parents evening she said she's made up with him, he's really come on. She then showed me his new IEP which said he needs support with reading (are, her, all, was) but at home he reeled them off. His IEP included learning sounds which he hasnt been given yet (ear, ure etc) oh and handwriting practise. all pretty basic but my fear is that if progress is slow he will probably be in a low ability class next yr too. The three other classes in his yr all have high frequency words on the walls, diary entries, they do sentences each day, booklets to fill out, comprehension with reading books etc but his class doesnt seem to do much of this and its like theyre getting left behind.

Orm, that's great news and I needed to hear it. Been worrying abot my ds1 also in Y1 as he is so far behind...he is 1 group above the SEN. Even at home when I try and explain things, I sometimes feel like I'm talking to brick wall! He's really struggled with the last 2 weeks homeworks. I have expressed concerns to teacher, but she just thinks he's 'young' and will develop when ready. He is making progress, so she's happy, even though the gap between him and 'the top' is ever widening. Stories like yours remind me to be patient and just keep plugging away at basics at home, and build his confidence at home. Was your ds good at anything? How was his confidence?

MerryMarigold-when is your sons birthday, summer by any chance?

"Even at home when I try and explain things, I sometimes feel like I'm talking to brick wall! He's really struggled with the last 2 weeks homeworks."

I sympathise merry. We used to have some real humdingers of arguments over maths hw. I'd try and stay calm but it was so frustrating! I'd explain. He wouldn't be listening. I'd explain again. He didn't understand. I'd explain again. He'd be doodling on a a bit of paper. I'd raise my voice a little. He'd get upset that 'you are getting cross mummy'. I would say sorry but take the paper away and explain again. He still didn't get it. At which point I'd have to go out for a breather. Dh would take over. He'd get the same treatment. DH would take about 10 mins before he'd get cross and stalk off for a fag in the garden Even DS1 would join in but his patience lasted even less time. And the worst thing was the he simply didn't get it - it wasn't just that he was being distracted or couildn't be bothered - he genuinely didn't understand. Times table were a nightmare because nothing seemed to help.

But we are getting there. Slowly. He's still behind a lot of children but he's on target so that's good enough.

There was nothing that he was really good at apart in school - but all the teachers recognised that he had a wide vocabulary and a good general knowledge.

Well done little Orm, that's fantastic

Salskey, my son has a Nov birthday, so one of the eldest.

Thanks, Orm. It's good to know we are not alone! I have a friend whose child was put on the SN register for Maths in Y3 and is doing GCSE's next year, predicted A! She calls him a 'late bloomer'. Dh reckons he was a late bloomer too and did v well by A level. So, we're hanging in there - but it can get frustrating. At the moment he's doing 'doubles':

Me: What double makes 6?
Ds: 5?
Me: What's double 2?
Ds: 4
Me: So what number is close to 2 and if you double it, it makes 6?
Ds: I don't know
Me: What's double 3?
Ds: 6

He is fine at learning by memory/ repetition - hence he can do the doubles straight, but not if you 'turn it around'. It seems like he can't work things out. His reading/ spelling is nearly all from memory, despite being taught phonics. Hence v basic reading/ writing level. His ability to do basic maths (adding to 10) is all from memory. Now we are on subtraction, he just can't get it, and I think he's going to have learn it all again off by heart. He has to learn the methods off by heart too by many repetitions, even how to use a number line.

I am just worried about how it affects ds1's confidence. I want him to be good at something! He is arty and enjoys it, but it's very abstract, so doesn't work too well in a school environment as it's not really things you can recognise, just 'things from my imagination'!!! Maybe karate.

MerryMarigold it is good to know we are not alone.
We sometimes have trouble with maths too, some days he's great, other days he seems to struggle. Using physical objects like coins or lego bricks were good and he's getting better at adding now. I think by about 9 they all catch up. Ds3 seems to be taking after his bro's and is pretty good on the piano, he can play half of twinkle, twinkle little star and half of Oh when the Saints :)

Blimey merry! I think ours sons must be clones Very similar by the sounds of it. He is also a winter baby (Feb).

Last night he had hw to do. A sheet of additions of 2 numbers in the hundreds. He hadn't had any maths hw for ages because I kept sending it back half-finished with an apologetic note written on it - he just didn't get it and I didn't see the point of sending my work in all the time So the lovely lovely teacher took pity on me and took the pressure off. I looked at the sheet with a sinking feeling of dread but there was no need! He knew his number bonds (mostly without having to work them out!) He knew about carrying numbers. It was a bloody miracle. It took time and he made a few mistakes but he understood. It just happened all of a sudden - late but who cares? Just like with his reading.

Phew! When did your ds 'get' reading, Orm? What's an IEP? I don't think ds1 has one of those, but I kind of wish he did. I don't want it to come 'too late'? Was it only after the Y2 SAT's?

How much did you do at home? When did you do it? Ds1 is pretty tired after school what with all the concentrating he has to do. You sound like a great parent, btw.

Ds2 is very different. Dd is a bit like ds1, but with a 3yr age gap, so maybe I will let him do the explaining for her since he will know how to explain it to her!

Yes IEP was after SATS. IEP = indiviual education plan I think. he got reading before that though - the IEP was mainly for maths and handwriting.

Great news!!!!

Ooh just saw the compliment.Thankyou I suspect I am only just passable though

What do we do at home? Very little these days. Reading every day (in the car on the way to school), hw when we get it (about twice a week). I used to practice number bonds and times tables but he got into such a state with them that we stopped for a while. If a child simply doesn't get something it's a fine line between helping them to understand and nagging them to such an extent they get put off permanently! He has had extra maths lessons in school for over a year now and they are clearly paying off.

Thanks, Orm. Any advice on how much/ when to do at home? At the mo, it is v little. I am not often stressed about him, but sometimes like when he gets 4/36 on a basic Maths test or all his peers are reading James & the Giant Peach, I feel a bit overwhelmed.

Anyway, ds1 is one of the sweetest, kindest, grateful boys I know. On Mother's Day he actually said, "This is my favourite day of the year!" and he was looking forward to it for ages...

My dsis is a teacher and does extra lessons for kids in school. She said it's so rewarding watching them 'get' things they didn't get as a whole class. Once they've made lots of progress, she moves to another group of kids. She just had her contract renewed for next year. Good schools find budgets for things like this and people who are talented at explaining to little minds.