want to persuade school to keep DS back next year - help!

[batsaboutbats]

Could you help me come up with some arguments to persuade ds school to keep him back a year next year.
He is in a very high performing school which I can't really change him from due to logistical reasons and the fact DD also goes.
He is in FS2 age 5 and is oldest in the year.
He is bottom of the class and I have been taking him to brain gym and OT.
He hates these.

I feel he would be better to relax for the rest of the year, start to enjoy school a bit and then start again in september.
What arguments do head teachers listen to?
I know the fault is mine for putting him in this type of school but moving him is not much of an option.
thanks for any advise!

I would imagine that for a state school, the problem with keeping him back a year is that the LEA would be unlikely to want to fund the additional year.

no private school.
British but we are not in the uk.

Yes sorry i think it is called reception - the year before year one.

Errrr, "bottom of the class" sounds odd to me when talking about reception. I guess that shows what a different sort of school it is. I would hesitate to keep him down a class- it's better he stays with his peers surely? Although you haven't said much it seems it's rather an academic school expecting a lot of reception age children? What do the school say about it? You may find that although he is "bottom of the class" now in a year or two he could catch up with his peers and be in the top.

if this is a state primary school then in my experience there are no arguments, i have tried them all, the response i get is that they always set the learning to the child. it is to do with sats as the child has to sit them when they reach the age not the year (this is what i was told anyway) and it messes up the schools results. if you do come up with something that works please let me know

sorry x posts, if you are not in the uk then you wouldn't need to do sats! i hope!

If it's state you probably don't stand a cats chance in hell of having him kept back a year.

The primary will only be funded for him for 7 years so once he's finished year 5 he'll be off to secondary with the rest of his original class where presumably he struggle even more as he hadn't had the chance of even doing year 6 work.

Sorry but I think you need to think again - the school needs to come up with an action plan for him if he is seriously behind. And yes they (you too?) need to ease on the pressure - most children get there in their own time!

Also think about how he'll feel in a few years time being in a class where some might be almost two years younger than him - not very good for his self-confidence.

I wouldn't worry about it tbh. I'd forget the "brain gym" and whatever else - it's probably just putting more pressure on him.

Encourage him just to go and enjoy it - if he's not academically gifted it doesn't mean he can't enjoy school.

Have a word with the teachers to make sure they think all is ok. He is only 5 after all. If he were 11 I would think differently.

Thanks for all advise.
I am really torn what to do and yes you are right he would end up being 2 years older than some of the kids in the class if he went down a year.
BUT the pressure is on and it doesn't really sound like the experience he is having is the same as he would if we were in the UK.
The school is working ahead of the british ciriculum (sorry I can't spell either :0)) and year 1 is very stressful from memory.
He is in learning support every day etc but the school expects alot - lots of reading and writing - it is so old fashioned but considered to be the best school here. When I see it written down I realise I am stupid to keep him there but if I move him he would be traumatised as he loves his sister and would be beside himself going to a different school plus how can I do 2 different school drop offs?

He does sound like a square peg in a round hole to be honest. I really do think you need to look into moving him to a school where there is less emphasis on academics at such a young age. You could put him off learning for life if this isn't a suitable approach for him. There is usually a way around the logistics although I can see having your children in different schools is not ideal at this age.

I really think you need to think carefully about this. Is anything going to change by keeping him down? Trying the same methods over and over has often been described as "shouting at a deaf person". When he gets to secondary age unless he has moved up again you could start to have real problems, as emotionally and hormonal ly he will be well advanced of the others in his class.

If he has a learning issue, and is learning slower, then he will be also falling further behind. If he learns differently and they continue to teach in the same way, he may still struggle to learn. It could also be that it is a school which deals better with compliant pupils, especially girls.
It is a common problem of living overseas, there is often limited support for the large percentage of the school population which at some point needs extra help. It is also true the methods are often behind UK schools.

Can you move his sister as well? Also, kids are very flexible. Even if they're not at the same school they will still play and get up to mischief after school . If you approach it in the right way and set the scene for him he will not be traumatised, he may well start to thrive and be happier!!!

You need to move him.

If you keep him back a year, he'll be the oldest in the class by a mile - and there's a very good chance he'll still be bottom of the class.

And that situation I think is non-redeemable.