Should I query my four year old knowing the details of the crucifixion?

[virgil]

This is maybe an aibu but my four year old has just told me how Jesus was forced to carry a heavy cross for miles until he was completely exhausted and then he had nails hammered through his hands and was hung by them in the sun until his hands ripped and he died. Last night the discussion was about whether bob the builder has lots of different pairs of dungarees that look the same or whether he wears the same ones every day.

Am I being over sensitive about this? I feel it's completely inappropriate detail for a four year old to know. Apparently he watched a video about it - twice. We are not religious but that's not the point. I have no problem
With him being told that Christians believe that Jesus died and then came back and that's why we celebrate Easter. I do have a problem
With him being told (and shown) unnecessary gory detail.

I'm thinking of going into school and asking to see what they've been shown. Is this an overreaction?

Bump

I think showing that kind of thing to young children is completely unnecessary. I'd certainly let them know that I thought it was inappropriate.

The graphic detail is not appropriate. There was a child of about 8 telling all the younger kids in children's liturgy yesterday in a lot of detail what happened.

I would be raging. It's completely inappropriate. Is it a religious school?

It's not a church school. It's an independent school with a Christian ethos whatever that is supposed to mean.

I don't think that kind of graphic detail is necessary when they're so little. Plus I have never heard about Jesus' hands ripping?! If it was a teacher that gave out this info I'd have a word with the head. It may have been another child though? I know I got very upset at primary school because a friend had been taken to the London Dungeons and told me about what she'd seen. My mum was furious (I was a wee sensitive soul ) but there's no way you can control what kids say to each other in the playground really.

My mum did go mental when I was shown an Indiana Jones film in school though - I was about 7 and bloody petrified!

Look at it this way - it's no worse than Little Red Riding Hood's grandma being eaten, or the Little Match Girl freezing to death, or the myriad other horrors in stories told to (and specifically for) children (StrewelPieter being the one that bothered me the most). And in next to no time, they'll be chanting "divorced, beheaded, died" and telling you in lurid detail how Edward II died and the excesses of Roman emperors.

It's a bit of a shock when you realise that the harder edges of the world have impinges on your DC. But if he's chatting about it just as happily as he chats about Bob the Builder, then he's fine with it.

I'd say leave it be.

Sorry but a Christian ethos for an independent school probably means more traditionally Christian than your local C of E state school. There are lots of images around, in Churches, Chapels etc. which show quite graphic detail.

Too much detail. My DC's Catholic school only teach "Jesus died on a cross" - definitely no gory details.

YANU to ask to see the clip. It's can't be that long if they watched it twice.

I don't think it's appropriate, if that is what he has been told.

Yes the world's a hard place, but at the age of four it's better if imparting the harder aspects of it is done by by the parents who know the child best. And it's the parents who will have to deal with any resulting nightmares too.

Its a very multicultural school and whilst the school has a Christian ethos ( for example they have hymn practice right through senior school) it can't be that religious since its not even mentioned on the website. My DS1 (7) is also there and when I asked him what he know about Easter he said he'd heard the word crucified but didn't really know what it means.

Ds2 was clearly concerned about it to mention it and he told me that he watched the video twice once with each of his two teachers

The fact that it's a Christian story shouldn't really be relevant anyway at such a young age.

Would the Reception class lesson contain graphic details of murder in any other circumstance - stabbings, shootings, beheadings?

Nappy, what kinds of details, bones snapping and blood shooting out of the mouth, or just the fact that people get squashed if you put heavy things on them? (There is such a thing as too much detail even for adults.)

The real details of crucifiction are nothing like what the teacher described.

The crucified person dies agonisingly slowly of asphyxia, shock and dehydration over a long period. The hand do not rip as the arms were tied to the limbs of the cross.

Images of Jesus on the cross with nails in his hands are widespread in churches so I would not worry too much.

If the school has a cofe foundation they will argue that you should be well aware of the fact they will teach christianity in detail, unlike state cofe schools where re has to be regulated and they are taught about other religions they don't have to do this in the private sector.

My DD in Reception came home today saying, "Please can we not talk about Easter or Jesus or anything ant more because it is too worrying." Not sure if this is what her church school wanted to achieve.

any, obviously. No ants involved.

I think I am going to say something tomorrow. I just don't think it's necessary and I don't see what they were trying to achieve. I also think that seeing images of it on a video is even worse. If DS2 had seen a cartoon with something like that portrayed I'd turn it off immediately. I've decided that I may well be being more sensitive about it than he is but that since there are another few days of school before Easter there may well be other viewings of the video and I don't want him seeing it.

I know I shall be labelled as a problem
Parent but rather that than have DS2 upset by this

i wouldn't worry too much - my son is 4 and gets all this indoctrinated god stuff from my auntie quite a lot, i just re-iterate to him that not everyone believes all that, he prefers to be a believer at this point, but he knows all those easter details and was telling me the other day - it didn't upset him or anything and i'm pretty sure he's forgotten all about it by now.

They're doing Easter at the moment. He'll be fine. It's only us that get our knickers in a twist.

I think I would establish first whether the hand ripping was actually in the video or just playground extrapolation. If it was in the video it doesn't sound age appropriate.

my five year old daughter saw the same video - i think it does the rounds in church schools, my friends kids saw it too.
I am not sure of the visuals/ imagery but my daughter was also very clear - in fact demonstrated that christ was strung out and then had nails hammered into his hands.
And apparently he did it all so she could live....No pressure there then in a five year olds mind !!!!
She has definitely remembered it and is regularly asking questions - how did jesus rise from the dead ? how did they put the nails in ? why did he have to die ? if he had not died would i be dead ? where is he now ?.... no doubt holding his head in his hands somewhere at how his legacy has been twisted so five year olds have to feel guilty that he got nailed to a cross......suffer the little children and all that eh ?

OP - I share your concerns, but unfortunately the prevailing culture seems to be that it's all perfectly normal. I guess that's 'culture' for you.