5.8 DS refusing to eat breakfast, but no snacks allowed at morning break.

[nappyaddict]

Anyone else in the same boat?

He will sometimes eat fruit or yoghurt. If not he can sometimes be persuaded to drink a smoothie or glass of milk.

I agree with exotic fruits - it's a non issue. Ignore it and he'll eat when he's hungry. Sitting at the breakfast table while everyone else eats will soon get boring!
It's a great game while everyone runs around trying to get you to eat breakfast - no attention, no fun!

Sadly at our school they don't have a healthy snack list it's fruit or nothing-simply not enough for many kids and actually both GPS told us kids need carbs and fruit is the worst thing to eat mid morning because of the sugar high then dip.

Err................ sugar is a carb. Fruit also contains vitamins and roughage.

OP is your DC actually hungry? Or is just that you are trying to be a good mum (nothing wrong with that) and feeling guilty. If your child is not actually hungry then maybe he doesn't need breakfast

Lara is right, he is getting a huge amount of attention by not eating breakfast!
I wouldn't mind betting that you could make a huge amount of fuss getting him a snack at school and then he wouldn't eat it. Some DCs would much rather play than waste playtime eating.
I would insist he sits at the table while you all have breakfast and not comment at all on not eating-don't appear to notice and let him get down. After a few days he would eat something is my bet-and don't comment if he does.
At the moment I would expect that he has alternatives and is playing, watching TV etc rather than eating.
If he still doesn't eat that his his problem (or it probably isn't one to him) and he won't starve.

is his not his his

exoticfruits How old was your DS when he stopped eating breakfast? Did he stop eating it every day or were there some days where he would?

I will try the sandwich idea.

At the weekend he got up at 7 and told me he was hungry at 8:20 and ate a bowl of cereal.

So based on that I imagine he is hungry when he gets to school. Perhaps I could send him with a sandwich in his pocket to eat when he gets there. Is too much bread bad for them though (he eats wholemeal bread) cos he has sandwiches for lunch too.

What were you doing in the morning at the weekend OP?
Was he playing or watching tv or generally entertaining himself?
My ds2 generally doesn't eat breakfast until a lot later at the weekend because he is doing something else and there is no rush.

Personally I would decide how you want the morning to go and stick to that routine so if you want breakfast to be at 7:30 and finished by 7:45 then stick to it.

If you tell him the routine then he will adjust to it.
I really think there should not be playing or tv or anything until he is dressed, breakfast is over and teeth are brushed as its too distracting. Just put his breakfast on the table, sit down and eat yours and don't try and cajole him to eat, just say "DS it's breakfast time, once you have finished and brushed your teeth, you can play until its time to leave" if you do that every day I'm sure at some point he will sit and eat.
It sounds like its becoming a struggle, which just puts a lot of stress on you.

How is he for eating his dinner, is he happy to sit and eat them?

Um he woke up at 7 but stayed in bed singing/talking to himself til 7:30. Then we got up and got washed and dressed. Then we tidied up the kitchen and did some washing up and then he announed he was hungry.

Hmmmm we did all that and it didn't work.I've never pandered to my good eaters or force fed ie they go hungry if they don't eat their tea which is fine and dandy when they're simply going to bed.

Op what worked for me re breakfast was trial/error and compromise.I started getting scotch pancakes,50/50 bread for breakfast only instead of doorstep wholemeal they have at other times,I also gave in to cereal that wasn't completely sugar free but stick to the very low sugar ones.Mine will eat masses of fruit at breakfast but I make them eat the substantial stuff first.

Soooo we get an ok breakfast,not eggs and porridge which I'd prefer but it's better than nothing.It may take a while and cost a fortune to begin with but trial and error worked for us.

That said my 3 still need proper substantial carbs mid morning(as do many kids).

MrsH I'm confused why fruit isn't good mid-morning. I thought slow-release foods are foods with a low glycaemic load and whilst there are fruits which do have a high glycaemic load, there are also fruits with a low one.

Also you mentioned your GP said fruit wasn't good mid morning. Does that mean it also isn't good for breakfast or an afternoon snack, unless it's eaten with some form of carb?

He said to avoid the dizziness they needed low GI eg oats..He said the sugar in fruit would peak and dip quicker.My dc don't like bananas sadly which I think are better.He also said they just need some calories.

To be honest they just need something substantial with some calories,I don't know any fruit(bananas aside) that would be enough.I tried the lot(apples low GI? didn't do it).As a family we need calories to keep weight on.

Dried mango aside they don't like dried fruit which I'm not bothered about as dried fruit isn't a good snacking food for teeth.

Basically an oatcake,cheese,oat bar,sandwich does the trick and they're doing great.My skinny bean is maintaining weight,the tears and dizziness have gone,concentration is up.

I was surprised they didn't recommend cheese and were particularly pro oats,I don't understand it all to be honest and it was some time ago,you'd have to ask.

Basically kids differ and fruit mid morning just isn't going to suit all.

They both said humans aren't designed to survive on 3 square meals a day(the Victorians brought that in in the work house) and that is why some kids struggle with limited calories for 6 hours. The amount of apples my skinny bean would have to eat mid morning to get the same(he'd be there for ages),2 or 3 bites on an oatcake etc and he's topped up.

exoticfruits How old was your DS when he stopped eating breakfast? Did he stop eating it every day or were there some days where he would?

He had it all through primary-mainly because it was routine and if you sit at the table with others eating it is going to be dreadfully boring not to eat yourself.

He probably stopped in teenage years when he chose to get up later (he was always up early when young). He says he can't face food at that time. When he can get up later he is inclined to cook himself something.

I tell him that it isn't healthy but he isn't bothered. My eldest ate breakfast all through secondary but he generally ate his packed lunch when he arrived home at about 4pm! He had to eat it at primary-at secondary no one bothers.

I guess that food isn't as important to some DCs-just to their mothers-which is why I say that it is their problem. They won't starve!

Can OP guarantee that her DC would actually bother to eat a snack at break? Mine considered a waste of time.

Exotic I think you're being very dismissive. Secondary is a whole different issue to primary.Young kids are learning and it's our job as parents to educate,support and advise at this age.

Just because a child does or doesn't eat breakfast it doesn't mean to say it won't matter to them later in the day.It did/does matter to my dc.They always eat their snacks as they're not your kids ie kids differ.

I had one child sobbing before school because he felt dizzy and another who had poor concentration.If I had just threw my hands in the air and just said "they won't starve" I'd still have 1 child in a state before school and another underweight with poor concentration.

As it is it got sorted and I have 2 happy kids,doing well.Not a big deal really and I think the op is right to plan ahead if it does become a problem.If her dc is happy and she's not had problems at school then clearly there is no cause for concern.If it does become a problem I'm not sure what the merits are of ignoring it (aside from awarding oneself a medal for indifference).

I'm not being dismissive. Sit him at the table-he will be bored.

Tosh.

Mine would happily snooze at the table at 7am.My 1 fussy eater(not so fussy now)over the years sat through many a loooong family meal eating nothing,it certainly didn't make him chomp through food he didn't want to eat.

Breakfast imvho is a different matter.Research continuously shows people who eat breakfast do better,are healthier.

I refused to give in and serve shite but with trial/error and minimum fuss it is possible to get something into them.I wouldn't consider serving anything other than the family meal at other times but really it's no big deal to serve diff cereal or have a selection of things to toast in the freezer at breakfast time.

They are all different. When young mine were up early and I wish they would have snoozed longer! There was utterly no chance of snoozing at the table.
One thing is for sure-not eating breakfast is getting him lots of attention and he knows his mother is really bothered, even if she pretends not to be.

At least she's not got my dd with her objection to hearing her brothers chew in the mix at 7am!!!!

A lot of people are not at their best first thing-I had 2 brothers so I can see it might be a bit much!

It is if you're hyper sensitive that time of a morning and a pita to boot!

Maybe I'm being dim here.

As far as I can see, this is not the school's problem. The problem is that he won't eat breakfast - if he ate breakfast, and then ate a decent lunch, then the school's policy on snacks is neither here nor there.

So your respoinsibility is to get him to eat a decent breakfast.

• Get him up earlier. If at the weekend, he needs over an hour to get to the point of having breakfast, then get him up earlier on a school day. IME it is the length of time between waking and eating, not the absolute time of eating, that is the issue, so an earlier waking up time should give him time to be ready for breakfast.
• It may help to give a small drink of milk on waking.
• Get everything - dressing, packing school bag etc - done before breakfast.
• Then he has to sit at the table until he has had a decent breakfast. No other activity is allowed until breakfast is eaten.
• Provide a variety of breakfast items that are acceptable to him and you, and allow him to choose which to have. Do not fuss, or press anything on him, any more than you would for any other meal. Getrting down without eating should be dealt with in the way you deal with any other poor behaviour.
• If he has to leave without breakfast, then explain that you are sad that he has chosen to be hungry at school, and not to learn as well, because he has chosen not to eat breakfast. Explain the Miss X, his teacher at school, will be sad that he has chosen not to learn well today. It is a behavioural choice that he has made, not a 'different need' that he has - treat it in the same way as you treat other poor behavioural choices.
• If he has a long minibus ride, see whether a small portable snack - a small sandwich or a couple of oatcakes - would be acceptable to eat on the way.

Check with the school whether he shows any problems in the mornings due to being hungry. If he does, ask the staff to reiterate the importance of children eating a good breakfast before school - work with them, not against them.

Not dim-very sensible teacherwith2kids.

But even when he wakes at 6 he still isn't ready for breakfast by 7:30, which is the absolute latest we can leave it for him to be ready in time for the minibus.

I am going to try giving him something in his pocket to eat when he gets to school.

Do you think he will eat it?
A lot of children are not going to take a snack out of their pocket and eat it on a bus full of their friends who, if they don't get a snack on the way, will be asking what it is, why he has it etc.

He surely is getting a lot of attention for refusing breakfast isnt he?

I agree with exotic and other posters who say sit him at the table, serve the breakfast and say no more, just have a routine, no activities until after he has eaten, but you have to stick to it consistently for a few weeks otherwise it will not work
You haven't got anything to lose, he isn't eating breakfast now so a few weeks of putting breakfast on the table and not allowing any other activities until breakfast is over is not going to make any difference in terms of how much he eats.

I personally think that getting school, doctors involved is making this into a huge issue when it doesnt have to be.

As for being dismissive and indifferent- I have 3 DCs 2 are teenagers and I have found that putting rules into place and then saying nothing more, just telling them what I expect is far more effective than involving schools, bus drivers, doctors etc and asking them to solve a problem which is actually nothing to do with them.