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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Lunchtime supervisor wants to know: how should I approach getting your dc to eat their sandwiches?

35 replies

treadonthecracks · 15/03/2012 14:39

I am a lunchtime supervisor and have a class of 20 + children eating their packed lunch with me for half an hour each day. They are 7, 8 and 9 yo.

I get various complaints from the DC:

Mummy used the ham I don't like
The bread is hard
These grapes taste funny and so on...

Usually the child has the item they are complaining about often and I know they do "like" it.

I usually try to persuade them, say they'll be hungry this afternoon, get them to eat half, just have one more bite and so.

It occurred to me today though (from the thread about fussy eaters I think), many parents don't try to persuade them, for good reasons - which I understand. I am actually pressuring them to eat up.

So I wondered WWYD / What would you like your DC's dinner lady to do?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Haberdashery · 15/03/2012 14:46

I would like you to do exactly what you are already doing. My child isn't fussy exactly but she gets very bored by eating and finds it hard to tell when she is hungry (she gets ratty instead, which is fun for everyone).

ByTheWay1 · 15/03/2012 14:46

Hi - I am also a lunchtime supervisor and we get the opposite - we get parents coming to school saying "little Johnny didn't eat his sandwiches today, he needs to eat you know....."

You can't win....

I don't know what the parents want us to do - we are not allowed to stuff them in the kids mouth... and making sure 1 eats when I have around 100 to watch..... but we say to the reluctant ones that whoever made their lunch would not have put things they didn't like in there and that they need to eat something..

redskyatnight · 15/03/2012 14:47

If this was a meal at home and the children didn't want to eat it, I'd just take it away. I think by 7,8,9 you understand that not eating=getting hungry later. So I'd want you to encourage them gently to eat more, but not push it.

( unless the child has particular health or other issues which make it more essential that they eat at least something.)

theDevilHasTheBestMNNames · 15/03/2012 14:55

Leave them to it.

I want them to eat when hungry but then I come from a family with obesity issues and I don't want pandering to fussiness. If they don't eat enough and they get hungry they will learn for next time. Don't send notes home explaining why stuff hasn't been eaten my DC are more than capable of telling me that themselves in detail many times.

I do know however that other parents have completely different ideas to that so can't see you'll get consistent answers.

theDevilHasTheBestMNNames · 15/03/2012 15:03

"but we say to the reluctant ones that whoever made their lunch would not have put things they didn't like in there and that they need to eat something.."

Not entirety true - DH thinks they should eat what ever is put in front of them and often isn't aware they may have a few months passing horror of some food - he works away a lot and consistently not pandering has so far meant they have all eventually come back round to item of food.

So if he made it for once then they may be unlucky and have something they do not like.

ruddynorah · 15/03/2012 15:04

I would prefer you to leave them to it. I hate that dd's lunch supervisors dictate how much the kids should eat. Dd knows to say 'my mummy says I only need to eat as much as I want to eat.' The end.

moonmother · 15/03/2012 15:06

Another Lunchtime supervisor here.

Same responses mainly from me too.

I am a little more crafty with the I don't like this ham/cheese - insert whatever filling you like

I usually take the filling out if I can and get them to eat the bread .

Also I get I don't like the seeds on top of my roll- cut them off.

If the bread is hard I take the crusts off

Worse comes to the worse - most of them are open to bribery of a sticker if they eat all their lunch

It's the sparrow eating dinners I have more trouble with -" I don't like this "- why choose it then when they have a choice of 2 main dinners and 2 different veg and salad.

It's very disheartening sending a child off back to class after lunch knowing they've not actually eaten 1 mouthful of their dinner .

The worst though is when they don't hardly eat any of their lunches, days in a row and the school gently suggests to the parents a packed lunch may be a better choice, and yet they still send them in to have dinners instead.

Takver · 15/03/2012 15:07

I'd be happy if as a lunch supervisor you made sure that they had good conditions to eat in (ie trying to keep a certain degree of calm insofar as that is humanly possible with lots of primary kids in the same room!) and apart from that by 7 leave it up to them.

I agree with the poster above that by KS2 age they're old enough to learn from experience that if they don't eat their lunch they'll be hungry in the afternoon.

But inevitably I think they won't eat as good a meal as they would at home (ie 2 or 3 children eating with adults) just because of the higher levels of distraction, wanting to get out to play etc.

Haberdashery · 15/03/2012 15:09

The worst though is when they don't hardly eat any of their lunches, days in a row and the school gently suggests to the parents a packed lunch may be a better choice, and yet they still send them in to have dinners instead.

My mum had this with me and always sent me to school dinners after trying packed lunches for a while. Her reasoning was that she'd rather not spend time making me a lunch I wouldn't eat any of and that I might as well have something that didn't involve extra work for someone if I wasn't eating it. I can kind of see her point. Some children just aren't very interested in food.

insanityscratching · 15/03/2012 15:11

I have a note in dd's lunchbox that says please do not comment on dd's lunch or try to persuade her to eat she has sensory issues and if she isn't eating it is because she is unable to and your input will make it worse. So for me I'd say leave well alone, thankfully after I complained when someone ignored it my wishes have been met ever since.

Bluestocking · 15/03/2012 15:25

My son is like Haberdashery's daughter - he just isn't that bothered by food and is far more interested in getting out into the playground as quickly as possible, but will be very grumpy later on if he doesn't eat his lunch. I don't pack much as I know he won't each much!

DeWe · 15/03/2012 15:33

I agree with thedevil. Dh makes the sandwiches, and, particularly dd1 has food issues where she really suddenly can't face something she ate happily last week. And he thinks they shouldn't complain.

I'd rather they were allowed to eat what they wanted-if they're hungry they'll learn to eat more tomorrow.

RitaMorgan · 15/03/2012 15:38

At 7+ I'd leave them to it!

BerthaTheBogBurglar · 15/03/2012 15:49

My 7 and 9 year olds eat most of their lunch on the way home from school. Eating it at lunchtime is just a waste of valuable playtime, apparently. It's their choice.

OTOH, my 4yo is diabetic. When he starts staying for lunch I'll need the dinner lady to persuade him to eat the lot!

TheEpilator · 15/03/2012 16:11

Thanks for caring OP! TBH its really the parents' problem if its packed lunches - mine bring their uneaten food/rubbish home so we can see what they eat/don't eat. I agree that they'll learn that not eating their lunch makes for a loooong hungry afternoon!

For school lunches I suppose a note to say "don't let them choose this next time as they didn't eat it" would help. Generally pushing them into eating it won't make a difference with mine, but some gentle persuasion is good. DD is 5 and would definitely be swayed by a sticker!

She brought home one of those notes saying "DD didn't like her sandwiches today" and I was really annoyed as she eats the same at home all the time, but I just made her eat it as her after school snack.

ToxicToria · 15/03/2012 16:32

I would not want him to be forced to eat anything but I would be happy with with you do as I know he often doesn't eat his lunch just because he wants to get out to play

ruddynorah · 15/03/2012 16:52

I would be furious if our school gave stickers out for eating all their food. Appalling. The best thing is to make lunchtime pleasant, not having supervisors marching about watching if they've eaten everything. Lunch time is often too rushed, cramped, too noisy and the kids just want to get out and play.
Dd loves it when the weather warms up and they can eat their packed lunches at leisure outside. Far more relaxed, sociable and enjoyable.

BornToFolk · 15/03/2012 16:52

DS starts school in Sept and I plan on giving him packed lunches.

He's very unfussy and likes his food. He would need no encouragement and he only doesn't eat if he's full, doesn't like what he's got or is ill which are all valid reasons, IMHO. I don't want anyone bribing or cajoling him to eat if he doesn't want to.

I wouldn't mind a gentle reminder to eat up if he's fart-arsing about though!

learnandsay · 15/03/2012 17:08

I can't even begin to imagine how you'd get them to eat up. In order to feed my daughter any meal at all I have to use a combination of bribery, entertainment, threats, replacing the meal with something else, distraction feeding and probably more. And even then I don't succeed all the time. I can imagine that a lunch time supervisor would have no chance at all.

MrsDmitriTippensKrushnic · 15/03/2012 17:25

DD is 8 and eats some of her lunch at break, some at lunchtime and the rest on the bus home - she's never been one to eat at lot at once and is definitely old enough to appreciate that if she doesn't eat now, then she could get hungry later. I'm happy for her to be left to her own devices, although casual encouragement in passing wouldn't bother me. FWIW I give her more in her lunch than she'd ever eat in one sitting purely because I know she grazes all through the day, so don't particularly like the sticker/reward for finishing idea. You should eat until you're full, rather than until your plate is clear.

jubilee10 · 15/03/2012 17:45

Ds3 is a glutton hungry child. He has school dinners and often comes home with a "clean plate award". It really annoys me as I would prefer him to eat what he wants and leave what he doesn't. If he has something he doesn't like (rare) he has been told he must eat some before he can eat his dessert. I wish they would leave him alone.

ragged · 15/03/2012 17:54

I'd like you to gently encourage and cajole if it's likely to be successful, but shrug your shoulders if they are stubborn about it. I do not expect you to fuss over them individually. You'll burn out if you do.

Sort of am on both sides of this: 1) had a child who often didn't eat and 2) am trying to get on rota as bank staff at the school. I found it really strange when dinner lady rang on day to say DS didn't have lunch, I nearly replied "He's barely been eating anything for weeks and you only just noticed?" DS was nine at the time.

HugADalek · 15/03/2012 18:07

I like them to encourage my DD to eat sandwiches first, however she is only three and needs to learn, I used to put too much in her lunchbox I think, I've learned to give her very small portions these days.

By 7+ I would think that they should know what they want to eat and leave them to it.

Original poster

treadonthecracks · 15/03/2012 20:53

Thank you all for your comments, very interesting.

Sounds like I'm not doing too badly. I generally try and do whatever I would like done to my children in the given situation and hope that's ok.

I also think parents might feel annoyed by lots of things sent back uneaten, but that seems rare from your responses which is good to know.

I will relax a bit!

OP posts:

EllenJaneisnotmyname · 15/03/2012 21:16

I also do lunchtime supervision. I have the opposite problem. One of our Y6 girls is quite overweight. She has free school dinners everyday and always goes up for seconds. If she had a packed lunch the quantity could be restricted. Should we be trying to restrict seconds? I don't think we can, lots of children go up for seconds. I don't think there's anything we can reasonably do without causing her extreme embarrassment, and I think it's completely beyond our remit. But everyday I see this girl stuffing herself. I do worry about her future, she has got very overweight over the last 3 years.

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