My "G&T" child is now just average

[Iamseeingstars]

Like many Mumsnet parents have found, teachers have given children labels of being G&T because they can do maths literacy sports whatever at an advanced level at the age of 5/6 and we all get proud and assume we have child genius's. Many parents on this forum do advise not to get hung up on these early day views because most kids average out.

My DC is now Year 6 and I have just received latest assessment results and they are shocking. I have been aware that she has been working at minimum effort, doing least amount of work she can get away with and not been motivated, and despite lots of discussions with school this has never improved. The biggest problem being she didnt want to stand out and dumbed herself down every year and never showed her true potential. But despite this the teachers have always said she is doing well, no need to worry, everything is "fine" (teachers favourite word).

I am really upset. If I talk to the teacher they think I am paranoid or worrying too much, but she has high school soon and her motivation levels to learn are zero. She will only learn about topics she is interested in and wont make any effort with topics that dont tick the boxes. Homework efforts are appalling. I dont know what to do.

She wont do any kind of practice or study at home for me to boost the learning.

What would you do?

Has she ever been challenged at school? could this have contributed to the problem?

What level is she at for things at the moment OP?

With respect, didn't you see this coming?

read some carol dweck.

ds's teachers sees it as the answer to all motivational type difficulties.

i would aslo big up her confidence - what does she like to do?

i have to say that some schools can rigorously destroy any love of learning. ds's teacher was brave enough to say that if we couldn't work out his (v similar) focus issues, then she predicted he would drop out and disappear. (he is currently on adhd meds to try and help this...)

you do need to arrange a meeting with school though, and have dd present. explain that you are gutted, and explain loudly and clearly her complete lack of effort. i would put her on the spot and ask if the work is too hard, if she is having trouble understanding it, and suggest some addtional tutoring if she feels that it is too difficult to understnad (with the hope that she will look at you as if you are crazy)

that said, average is still 'ok'. would she respond to a good bit of old fashioned bribery to up her interest levels? consequences for not doing homework/ putting effort into homework? is she stick or carrot?

Reward effort and not achievement. Use praise for spending time and doing something carefully but ignore things where she gets it right because she is clever.

In my dd year group I saw this happen on a regular basis, often dc's who earlier in primary appeared ahead just lost their motivation to work and levelled out. Most often it occurred in secondary school as parents are less involved.

I would focus on a specific area - maths, english or science and find a tutor who inspires her. Make it about learning to love learning and help her see that with effort she can improve.

Could she have missed some basics (the assumption being that she had understood it all) and as a result she is struggling to build her knowledge.

Encourage her to excel in anything even if it has nothing to do with school. Many things in life get complicated at some level. That's when people wish they'd studied harder when they had the chance. Spend a bit of time thinking about it and then try to arrange to bring this 'aha moment' to your daughter twenty years earlier than it happens to everybody else.

With regards to did I see it coming, I suppose because the teachers have kept saying she is doing fine I accepted this, even though what I saw in school books was in my opinion very poor shoddy work. But the teachers keep telling her her work is good and never correct any basic mistakes. Her downfall is literacy, she isnt interested in writing anything but the biggest shock with the tests were how low the results were and I think it was just lack of attention to detail, and not following instructions.
She has the attitude of "i know it all" I did really well in my tests, etc but the results clearly showed she didnt.

We are trying to motivate her but she seems to have all the enthusiasm zapped out of her, mainly because of bullying and comments from other kids in the class so now she wont make the effort.
We dont get levels like the UK but her writing is at 3A which I dont think is very good. Spelling and reading are very advanced but they are not being shown into her literacy efforts.

I dont really know if she has missed any basics, I know the school have covered them because there was always evidence on display in the classroom