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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Tell me this is normal in Reception...

21 replies

GetDownNesbitt · 13/03/2012 21:28

5 year old boys falling out, not wanting to be friends, saying 'if you play with X then you can't play with us'.

And one little git darling being the 'boss' of what happens...

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

overmydeadbody · 13/03/2012 21:30

Oh God yes, that is normal. Then they are best friends again the following week.

Children are fickle.

mrz · 13/03/2012 21:34

Just after you get yourself wound up they will be best friends

stealthsquiggle · 13/03/2012 21:35

Yep. Normal. However, if it persists beyond a week I might be inclined to have a low key word with teacher to make sure they are aware and addressing it through circle time and the like.

Original poster

GetDownNesbitt · 13/03/2012 21:39

Thank you.

I have got little git angel pegged - took about a week to figure him out. Although I am well aware that DS may be quoted in his house as often as he is in mine, and his mum probably gets sick of hearing 'NesbittJunior says...'

OP posts:

PiedWagtail · 13/03/2012 22:13

Completely normal :(

muffinflop · 13/03/2012 22:18

I never had this problem with DS. DD on the other hand....

The girls in her class are awful. One made DD cry before going in to school last week by being nasty. While I carried on seething inwardly, DD and the girl who'd made her cry walked in to school with linked arms, giggling and the best of friends

Devora · 13/03/2012 22:19

the boys are worse for this than the girls in my dd's class. The next class along, though, it's the girls...

cabbageandbeans · 13/03/2012 22:23

Based on what she tells me of I pretty much dislike all the kids in my DD's reception class.

margoandjerry · 14/03/2012 09:39

Totally normal. Including the fact that boys do it, not just girls. I hate that whole "Girls are so much bitchier" thing. It's a load of rubbish. I think it happens to all children as they learn that they have power and can use power. Some children get there faster than others - and then hopefully out the other side with the right correction.

wedoNOTdothat · 14/03/2012 13:15

Yes we have a git/darling in dd's class whom dh and I discuss through gritted teeth. And why is this child always the most popular??

Also, do you think it is ever a good idea to invite this child round for tea? I was wondering if a bit of heavily supervised bonding might improve things because I'm willing to try anything!

cabbageandbeans · 14/03/2012 21:12

Ha Ha wedoNOT, have had EXACTLY the same thought! My dd REALLY wants to be 'the nasty little piece of work's" friend but I can see she loves to play all the other girls off one and other. I did think of inviting her around but not sure I can tolerate it! Going to let nature take it's course and let my dd work out who is a good and trustworthy friend for herself, for now anyway.

Tillyscoutsmum · 14/03/2012 21:19

We have exactly the same. I'd never have believed I could feel such venom toward a 5 year old . She is top dog and everyone is desperate to be her best friend, despite the fact she has been calling some of the dc's fat They are 4 and 5 FFS !

wedoNOTdothat · 14/03/2012 22:12

Yes cabbage! I'm not sure I have the patience for it, especially as I work with, albeit younger, children full time. I will follow your example and leave them to it for now. Fingers crossed the two reception classes get mixed next year...

EllenJaneisnotmyname · 15/03/2012 21:35

My DS2 had a real 'alpha male' in the class who ruled the boys, especially football. Got children to bring him 'gifts' so they'd be 'allowed' to play football. He was so bloody popular, would have his henchmen and everything. My DS2, who has SN, only had 3 incidents during his primary school career, they all involved this boy, including when DS2 bit him. Teacher came out to have a word, I was mortified, found out it was alpha male, and the other parents said, 'Good, he deserves it!' He got his comeuppance by the end of Y6. All the boys finally got his measure and he ended up quite disliked. Actually felt sorry for him by the end.

asdevil · 15/03/2012 23:12

We have one who has been ruling the roost since reception. Now year two and she is still doing the same, and DD is still desperate to be friends with her

squooz · 27/03/2012 21:08

Just read this and it reminds me of my DD who has 'best' friend - boy who lives v close by - who regularly used to tell her she was not allowed to play with anyone else or he would not be her friend. This seemed to die down but after a period of happily being 'one of the boys gang' as my DD put it she has now been told by 'friend' that she can only play with him on playdates not at school because at school he can only play with boys! Not surprisingly she is feeling a bit hurt and confused - but still thinks this boy is the best thing since sliced bread - we are on good terms with boys family and his mum has tried talking to him but as we find with our daughter 5 year olds tend to do as they will when we are not around! Hopefully will all work out in time.

whomovedmychocolate · 27/03/2012 21:10

Yep normal over here too. But luckily DD just ignores the heck out of her cohort if they annoy her and it seems to work as a strategy but the boys do seem to have some sort of mafia going on at lunchtimes.

Dustinthewind · 27/03/2012 21:14

Absolutely normal, on an hourly and sometimes moment by moment basis.
Equally as common are mothers that don't move on anything like as quickly, and who harbour negative feelings long beyond the point the children actually remember that they ever fell out.
Or who categorise another five year old as a nasty piece of work, or a little git and the rest. Most of the children arrive at school at 4 with a completely egocentric view of the universe and have to be firmly gently dissuaded of the fact. Some of them take a bit longer to cope with the idea that they are now one little Emperor/Empress amongst 25. Rather like the parents of said little darlings

treas · 28/03/2012 19:54

The dc have nothing on their darling parents who discuss other children in front of their offspring at home, only for their little darlings to repeat it to the children concerned back at school

PastSellByDate · 29/03/2012 18:24

GetDownNesbitt:

I'm afraid it's totally normal.

However, on the bright side our perception is that girls are a lot worse than boys (we have 2 girls).

We've observed lots of manipulation in the run-up to birthday parties - as in people suddenly are best buddies so they can be invited to a party or the obverse, 'you're not coming to my party' said to an audience to upset someone that they currently aren't getting along with.

My DD2 was persuaded to bring in a brand new DS game (a Christmas present from her grandmother) and give it to a particularly manipulative little girl in year 1. We never got it back and DD2 was crushed when she realised it would never be returned. We tried not to be too angry with our DD2 for getting dragged into all of this, but pointed out that if this girl was truly a friend she wouldn't insist you bring her things 'to prove your her friend'. Our DD2 has been much happier since she stopped trying to be this little girl's friend.

Best to just teach your DC to seek out children who don't behave like that or find things they can do in the playground on their own when people are behaving oddly.

HTH

Beanbagz · 29/03/2012 18:37

Just wait utnil you get to Y4/Y5. Reception will seem like a piece of cake!!!

And as PastSellByDate says girls are a lot worse than boys (I have one of each).

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