Reasonable adjustments for children with SN.

[Voidka]

I am looking for honest opinions but am too scared to post in AIBU.

DS is in reception - he has ASD and LD.

Before he started school he drank a lot (3-4 litres every day) mainly squash and juice. School have a water only policy, (which he hates) which means he has cut down what he is drinking dramtically.

The knock on effect of this is that he is now on movicol because he is constipated and his eczema is playing up because his skin is very dry.

We have a MAM next week. I want to say at this meeting that we have tried for 6 months to get him to drink water but he just refuses. I want them to make an exception for him and let him have squash. They said he could have flavoured water before which we tried but that isnt going down well either.

Please be honest - I am new to all of this and dont know what is reasonable to ask.

We had a looked after child who would only drink squash at our school. He was allowed to continue to drink it, but it had to be steadily watered down. I think over a year he ended up on water.

This is what pisses me off about mainstream schools. Let me guess 'it wouldn't be fair on the other chikdren'. When ds1 was in mainstream everything wouldn't be fair on the other children from the sorts of problems you've described to being allowed to use the disabled toilet! (I think the staff liked using it)

Of course he should be allowed juice but good luck in getting them to listen! We ended up leaving mainstream.

Children at our main stream school who have to drink a lot for medical reasons are allowed squash. They bring it in themselves, they generally have it in large black sports bottles so other children have no idea what they are drinking. Children who have medication of various sorts have squash in the staff room that they are given when they need their medication. Some times life's difficult enough for children without teachers making it worse. I am one, I'd allow him juice.

yes, it is entirely reasonable of you to request this.

we had an exemption from policy for dd1 (at preschool, not school, but ms, and attached to a school, so same policies etc).

dd1 will not drink water. at the time, we had just finished coaxing her back to drinking after a fluids strike of more than 9 months. no bloody way was she going to be presented with water.

she drank juice (pineapple/pear mixture) from small lunchbox sized cartons only. so that is what she had.

we termed it a medical need (since otherwise she would be dehydrated). the other children there were told that milk (available at snack) made dd1's tummy sore (true), and that dd1 did not drink water as she had to use a straw and drink from the carton (also true).

the other children were not in the slightest bit bothered.

would you be able to get your gp onside to write a letter stating your ds needs to drink more as he has medical issues otherwise, and that he drinks

we have used a similar letter to get liquids through airport security (liquids need to be in 100ml containers, dd1's juice only came in 200ml cartons, and we took half a dozen or so through ). exceptions can be made.

This should not be a problem. DD has always had diluted apple juice (also ASD) as she won't drink water. SChool have never challenged this as it is a non issue. There are plenty of problems with dd; it would be madness to create another for such a small exception. Go for it. In fact I would be tempted not to ask but to simply send it in with a letter explaining your reasoning.

I don't know who made the decision that only water should be consumed in school. Did it come from government or is it up to the individual head? I know that since it has been introduced, some children in my class are drinking less. Probably about half of them don't have a drink at playtime unless I encourage them. Two at least have suffered constipation.

They are allowed squash at lunchtime and they do drink this but it's not enough. If it is affecting the child's health then I don't see why they should not be allowed squash. Especially sugar-free, heavily diluted squash. The whole point of introducing water only was, presumably, to improve health, particulary healthy teeth and gums. It would probably be better to allow them to drink squash and then get everyone to clean their teeth after lunch.

Anyway, that's my opinion OP. I would suggest speaking to the teacher and see what they say. If they insist on water only, take it to the head. The child's health should not suffer.

We were sent a directive from above to say we couldn't give children fresh fruit juice or squash or cordials but as with most things we try to apply a little common sense when complying

Hmm...I don't know. I guess it's down to the school to communicate with you, about the extent of the issue.

DD2 was actually admitted to hospital with diabetes symptoms and the GP wrote in her referral '?Diabetes, ?Space Occupying Lesion. The Consultant ordered a cannula, CT scan, etc., then suddenly had a change of heart. She realised that DD2 had something quite different.

DD2 had 'Squash Syndrome'. I kid you not. The Consultant said they had seen several children who basically got into a cycle:

a) Drink squash.
b) It tastes nice.
c) Drink more squash.
d) Wee more
e) Get thirsty.....

Soon, you have a child who is fulfilling diabetes 'checklist' criteria:

Drinking lots
Weeing lots
Irritable...etc.

She did suggest that we could limit DD2 to 3 cups of squash per day, then switch to water for the rest of the day. But DD2 found that really quite distressing.

So, we decided that all our children would go cold turkey. DD1 has SN and I thought it would be a real challenge. But I simply said 'no squash now, just water'.

After 3 days, they stopped asking. Now, they are allowed squash at special meals, but they naturally ask for water at all other times.

Only you know if your DS can't drink water. If he would drink water at school if you also made the switch at home, then I think perhaps it would be a good idea to do that. On the other hand, if you think he just won't drink the water under any circumstances, then it will come down to whether it is considered a part of his ASD.

I suspect that there are lots of NT children who would stubbornly refuse water if they got it once they got home, though.

How dilute could you get his juice before he would refuse to drink it?

diluting can be an option (in cases of 'proper' can't drink water), but it has taken us ^years to get dd1 to a point where she has 80-100ml juice in her 750ml sports bottle.

and we cannot go any lower, or she stops drinking again (and while I don't think we would get to the place she was in before, with total refusal of all liquids for more than 9 months, it really isn't a risk I'd be willing to take, tbh)

her school now (specialist ASD school) care not at all what she has - every child is on an individual dietary needs plan anyway, so everyone has different stuff and it is handled just fine.

we have a water only policy but exceptions are made on medical/SN grounds in 3 cases I can think of

TBH I suspect quite a few children 'sneakily' get away with bringing squash into school in their dark coloured bottles. I certainly never check the contents unless it is blatantly obvious by being in a clear bottle.

I often get the tale tellers saying x has juice in her/his bottle but I have better things to do than police "illegal" juice

Am I the only one who thinks 3 - 4 litres a day is a massive intake of liquid for a small child (well, anyone really) ?

It depends on the child though doesn't it lougle. When ds1 was on his restricted diet he ate under 10 items of food and he would rather starve than eat anything else. So withholding food, just led to him not eating, going into ketosis and then throwing up (this was an issue because he wouldn't eat any of the food he was 'allowed' at mainstream and then they complained that he was all over the place each afternoon- presumably because he was hungry).

And same with silverfrog. His special school has a healthy eating award thing but each child has a diet appropriate for them. Including juice. DS1 in fact eats anything now so he has the regular school meals, but they cook separately for food refusers.

Totally, saintly. I think that's the crucial consideration. Is this something that he can't do (and in that I would included a situation like Silverfrog's DD, whereby she would rather not drink at all than drink water), or is it something he would really rather not do, but could and would do it if the choice was water or nothing.

Because all children will prefer the 'nice' thing to the 'less nice' thing. We know that. Most children would rather wait for the nice thing than have the less nice thing, which is why sometimes a total 'squash ban' is effective (they don't get to 'save themselves' for home).

There aren't very many children who would rather not drink at all than drink water. I think that's the difference.

DD1 (special school) actually has squash at break times. I think they'd prefer the children drink well and therefore don't enforce a water rule. DD1 is not a good drinker. I don't mind that, she seems to cope with haviing a rule at school that is different to the one at home.

What I was cross about, was that DD1 went to Kids Club (held at the school, but by a separate organisation) and I supplied a packed lunch, with water. When she came home, the water had been replaced with incredibly strong squash. It caused a major meltdown because of course, she had squash and the other girls had water. Then, when I switched it for water, DD1 had a major meltdown too. Not helpful.