DS (4) Breaking Down Going Into School

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Youngest son started reception last September (he's a July baby, so very young for his year) and settled in exceptionally well and has made lots of lovely friends. He also has lovely teachers and is doing very well. However, since half term he has been breaking down in the mornings going into school. Just clinging onto my legs and quietly breaking down. One of the teachers has to come peel him off me every morning and it's become a horrid way to start the day. He does this to DH too.

He is absolutely fine getting up for school, getting ready for school and walking to school but he just breaks down at the last minute. We've asked him why and he says: "I just love home so much and I miss Mummy/Daddy too much. The day at school is long."

I'm pretty certain there's nothing going on at school. So how do we manage to break this pattern? It's a horrid way to part company in the morning. I leave him feeling totally rotten and walk to school feeling a bit tense in anticipation. But it feels all wrong to teach him to suppress his feelings. Ugh.

Please, wise Mumsnetters, how do I break this cycle?

DS2 has only just stopped doing this!! He is in reception, not quite 4 and has done it every day bar 4/5 since he started. I know he is fine once he is in, he has lots of friends, enjoys school and loves it once he is there. He even went to the school nursery. I think it was just a habit he had got into, I often walked past the window 2 minutes after he had gone in screaming and lying on the floor to see him LAUGHING and playing with his friends and the teachers have said he is fine once in.

I think what has helped to break him of it is getting other people to take him to the classroom. He has always been worse with me, so DH took him and his Granny a few times and with each one he went in with no tears. Since then he has got alot better and the last week gone in without looking back! Teacher also gives him a sticker at school for going in nicely.

Thanks all. It worked again this morning, he managed a rictus smile in spite of his wibbling chin. Hopefully he can hobble through to the Easter hols and thereafter he might have forgotten about it.

I am still going through this with my ds, though he has had issues with another boy most of this year. We have trouble right from waking though. In fact, he is sitting on the sofa right now, was ill yesterday and I have kept him off for fear of getting "the phone call" half way through my day. I am at a loss what to do with him. Most days are a struggle and it is literally making me feel sick. Have tried stickers, rewards, you name it. Hope this is a phase for both of us

CHST - Ahhh poor little thing. What's the other boy doing to him. Your son sounds as though he has genuine worries (the other boy) wheres my son is just being a bit sappy. Is he in Reception too?

My ds did this every single day in year one.
He had to be peeled from my legs every morning, sobbing. I sometimes had to kick him off i knew he settled really quickly.
in the summer holidays I said " i hope you won't do it in yr 2"
He said no because he would be a big boy then.
And he was fine.
.
Now year 8 and loves school.

pinching, scratching, hitting, all done on impulse mostly. Head injuries a couple of times. Teachers are on it though so I hope it is a phase for them both. They are friends oddly enough. He complains of tummy ache a lot and I truly think he does have tummy ache from being worried. He is just so easily led and just takes it (different story altogether with his younger brother annoyingly!) Yes my ds is in reception. I hope your boy is okay soon. It hurts doesn't it? I try not to let it show but it is really hard when all you want to do is wrap them up in cotton wool.

CHST that's made me really sad reading about your ds, hope the teachers are doing everything they can to sort the situation out, not a positive experience for your ds at the moment.

DS1 did this to varying degrees all the way through to yr 2. it was utterly dreadful. Nothing anyone did made any real difference for very long. In the end he grew out of it. Neither of my other children have been so bad. he couldn't tell me what the problem was - teacher couldn't pinpoint any problems. He was quite happy in school.

He was fine at the beginning of reception but it started getting bad about half way through the first term. I got the impression it was the realisation that this was it! For ever. School wasn't just for a few days but every day.

One thing that helped a bit was getting the teacher to take him into the classroom early to do his 'job' - clean the blackboard for example. Then he would stay there with the TA when the bell rang and the teacher went to fetch the rest of the line. It was the bell ringing that was his trigger point so avoiding it happening when I was still there with him in the playground seemed to help.

Sorry you are having this problem. It's starts the day out so badly. I went to work with smudged mascara many times

I was like this as a young child. There were no problems at school but when it came to the point of having to leave my mum in the morning I'd feel really apprehensive, as I hated the thought of being away from her all day. Once in school and distracted I was fine.

I wonder if talking about the things you'll do together after school would help him, keeping in his mind that he won't be at school all day and he'll still have his time with you later. Going in with a friend, as someone mentioned up thread, is also a really good idea. Is there anyone you can walk with so he can be distracted before you even get to the school?

Ah bless, they're still so little aren't they, it must be such a long day to be away from home. Hope the sticker thing breaks the cycle and it sounds like his teachers are being really positive and supportive, which must really help.

Where would we be without stickers?!